Re: REVIEWS: Ben Affleck 03/13/04 -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 16:44:28 03/26/04 Fri
Author: Quatro Cinco
Subject: Re: REVIEWS: Ben Affleck 03/13/04
In reply to: Patrick Lonergan 's message, "REVIEWS: Ben Affleck 03/13/04" on 00:48:50 03/13/04 Sat

Bush: I think the major problem with your sketches is that your not really pushing yourself to be funny. I gather you don't support Bush in office, but you need to separate that bias from your sketch and make him funny. This reads like it's supposed to be a standup preformance instead of an impression piece. Ragging Bush in standup is a viable concept, but Bush has to be presented as funny if he's the focus of a sketch. You could really go somewhere with the gay marriage issue, but you didn't. Having Bush compare himself to Kerry is too similar to a recent SNL bit when Clinton compared himself to Edwards. I've never seen you do standup, but I have read your sketches. The sketches need to be about the humor, rather than the performance you envision for them if they were being performed. I would suggest a break on political humor, which doesn't seem to be agreeing with you, and nstead write a sketch about an absurd situation, and take it to the limit. You have potential, you're just not putting the time and effort into realizing it. Stop thinking you're talented, and SHOW us you're talented!

Monologue: The Jay & Silent Bob cameos were certainly fun, but I think this is another example of two writers trying to merge two separate ideas into one monologue and losing focus on one or the other. The "Yankees Suck!" premise was completely overshadowed by the cameos. I think only one writer should tackle cold openings and monologues, instead of trying to cram multiple ideas into one segment. Your own FAQ says the funniest of multiple submissions will be accepted, which would give more balance than trying to combine ideas. Both contributions were interesting, but I just didn't feel they worked together.

Blair: Another reviewer commented on the Lovitz Liar refrence, in regards to his version of an SNL character not being accepted. I will agree the reference wasn't thrilling, there's plenty of other celebrity liars you could have mentioned in place of a fictional character, but it's still different than recycling a 30 year old bit. This is an interesting idea, though I'd be interested in seeing a script of the actual show instead of an ad parody for it. The fun would involve the growing aggravation of Blair's guests.

Hustler: Excellent writing. Not all lines are punchlines, per se, but the writing style is admirable and always a treat to read. Out of the blue remarks like ass lice work so well with the premise. The ending is considerably obvious, but the sketch is still a great vehicle for Parnell and would work great on stage.

Zechtinoxophin: This is a very odd sketch, which took me a few reads to comprehend fully, but my gut instinct says "My mom is dying of toe cancer" is the funniest and most unexpected line in this week's collection!

Dollars: This is a funny concept, though you should add a little to the part where Parnell's reaction goes from mellow to over-the-top outrage with little provocation. I like how you use the Nick-At-Night promos to transition the phone calls. Googling the phone number was great. I like the twist ending, but it felt forced getting there with Affleck handing Parnell the five dollars. I think Parnell should have just found the money lying around his apartment, and then called the number he found on it. Great dialogue all around, I would just tighten up the areas I mentioned.

WU: A few good jokes here and there, but falls short of the SNY Weekend Updates of the past few weeks. WU is the one thing on SNY that benefits from having more writers contribute. Cold openings and monologues should have only one writer, instead of two or more trying their damndest to make separate ideas work together. On WU, if four people write jokes about gay marriage, you can choose the best ones and have a consistent comedy segment that flows with ease. Again, I'd distance myself from jokes that read more like personal opinions. Stop doing jokes that suggest Jimmy/Tina don't like Bush, and tell us something genuinely funny about Bush instead (the Bush/Simpson-Lachey joke worked well without opinionating Bush). There's a big difference between a punchline and an insult, the punchline having the greater impact. The Parnell piece is okay, at least a better use of incorporating standup into the mix.

LOTR: Wacky, wacky, wacky! I don't know where you get your ideas, but they are some of the most out-there premises on this site. I haven't followed the LOTR hype, so many of the references escape me. However, "I was thinking Denzel Washington. Maybe you heard of him. He won an Oscar. You know they give those to black people now." was another unexpected great line that comes out of the blue. Lance and Henry could conceivably work as recurring characters in varying situations.

Clippings: Another odd premise, perhaps more true to life than humorous. Good job making the articles increasingly ridiculous with each pass.

Prison: This is a funny premise on paper, and I can't help but wonder how much momentum it would gain as a performance if you had Will Ferrell in the role of the prisoner. You've got a lot of great, humorous, slighty offensive dialogue, and I imagine it would heighten incredibly once performed.

Scrabble: I like the premise of turning the game of Scrabble into a sporting event. You can bet if housewives could find a way to turn keeping a bathroom clean into a sporting event, men around the world be fierce competitors! This would probably stand out more in performance than as a brisk read, but it's a very good idea.

Advertisement: The bickering was humorous, and maybe this would benefit through performance, but I felt confused reading it. Maybe it's just because there were so many characters that I couldn't keep straight on who was playing who. Dueling Announcers would have been an interesting direction to take this premise.

Drunken: The initial premise is interesting, but the news jokes were neither funny nor presented in a drunken manner. Setting it in a bar was a nice touch, but you didn't exactly run a touchdown with the premise. Again, this material might fly in performance stand-up, but it doesn't work in sketch form. Learn how to make the two work together, and your sketches should improve dramatically.

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Replies:

Reply -- Vier, funf, 20:05:32 03/26/04 Fri
Reply -- Vier, funf, 20:06:50 03/26/04 Fri