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Date Posted: 19:01:30 03/31/04 Wed
Author: Hillary
Subject: Well...I did read it...
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "Anyone gonna leave feedback on my skit" on 19:46:28 03/30/04 Tue

I was planning to refrain from reviews for a little while, until I settle in here. I would feel strange critiquing people who have been doing this much longer than I have. I'm also having difficulty translating the humor from written to television; meaning I have trouble imagining what it would be like on TV. Audio/visual humor can be quite different from written humor, the effect in general is different. I would read the sketches out loud, but I'm afraid my family would think I was a bit odd.

And, of course, I'm still trying to figure out what funny is. That said, I did read it, I do have some thoughts, I just hesitant to post them. But I understand the desire for feedback before it gets posted.

First of all, it's "Yassir." Obviously, this isn't important for a spoken thing. But just FYI.

The thing in the beginning, with the ointment and stuff...don't really get it. I can't tell whether the ointment has to do with the joke, or what...

I thought the "Holla holla for my man Allah!" was clever.

When Yassir is pretending to condemn Yassin...did Arafat actually do that? (Publicly condemn Yassin, I mean.) I'm not very informed on this issue, it just seems strange, I guess. But if the facts are straight, that's fine.

"Okay, that's enough comedy for now" comes too soon after the "Now, onto more serious matters..."

"We started that practice years ago.." the joke is fine, but again, I'm not sure what you're referring to. As I understand it, both sides started fighting each other around the same time. I can't remember another well-known time when the Palestinians were at war besides the Crusades, and that was all hundreds of years ago.

"Like I said earlier, we started this practice..." again, this reference doesn't make sense with the issue you stated before it, since the thing with the two boys was a recent event.

I might be uninformed, but what is Al-Asqa? If this was supposed to be an Al-Queda joke, it doesn't work when spoken. (To use word substitutions like that, you have to find words that sound alike. "Ass" doesn't sound like "Que.")

"Don't tell the officers you have a bomb on you..etc." Don't get this. Did some kid do that? If so, I didn't hear about it, and probably not many Americans.

The Yu-Gi-Oh cards-this is a good attempt at random object humor. I'm not so sure, however...I may be wrong about this, but I don't think Yu-Gi-Oh cards are that well recognized to get a reaction from a general audience. In their heyday, Pokemon cards would have worked. Also, I think any payment to suicide bombers goes to their families, because obviously the bomber has no use for it.

The incorporation of the "seventy two virgins in heaven" thing is good.

"Saudi Arabia sounds good..." this is too obvious. You switch between having him speak formally and being casual, and it's confusing.

The whole ending is a little confusing. I think once things in the building start crashing, it might not be so funny...in a pre-9/11 world, it could be. But I think the worst nightmare of many Americans is the idea of being in a building while it is exploding or something.

In general, I thought it started out good. It's difficult for me to picture, I guess because I haven't seen anything really like this in a sketch comedy kind of performance.

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