�Tony Bennett Does More Duets� -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 20:15:34 11/13/06 Mon
Author: jennings
Subject: �Tony Bennett Does More Duets�
In reply to: jennings 's message, "The Lost Comedy..." on 20:13:31 11/13/06 Mon

�Tony Bennett Does More Duets�
Written by Mark Jennings Reese II

Tony Bennett�Alec Baldwin
Elvis Costello�Jason Sudeikis
Sting�Seth Meyers
�Christina Aguilera
Flavor Flav�Kenan Thompson

(Fade in)

(Tony Bennett stands in a posh lounge stage set up to promote his new album)

Tony Bennett: Hello everybody! I�m Tony Bennett! You know, with the recent successful sales of my duets album, I decided to strike while the iron is hot, and you know what, the iron is hot! Ouch! So hot, its burning my hand when I touch it! My last album, I had some of the most terrific artist sing duet versions of my classic songs. Well, you know what, with this new album of duets, I�m going to sing duet versions of some of their songs. Sounds great, uh? Here, look at this video of performances in the recording studio, while recording this new terrific album.

(Cut to film noir video of the recording of the album with various artists)

(Tony Bennett and Elvis Costello sing �Pump It Up�)

�Pump it up, when you don�t really need it,
Pump it up, when you can feel it.�

(Tony Bennett and Sting sing �De Do Do Do De Da Da Da�)

�De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
Is all I want to say to you
De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
Their innocence will pull me through
De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
Is all I want to say to you
De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
They�re meaningless and all that�s true�

(Cut back to Tony Bennett standing on the lounge stage)

Tony Bennett: And there�s more where that came from. The new album will include a bonus DVD of rare studio video like you just saw there. And an additional disc included when you purchase this album at TARGET stores in a CD of duets with hip-hop and rap artists. Joining me now is the beautiful and talented Ms. Christina Aguwee-Debop!

(Christina Aguilera walks on to the set to sing a duet with Tony)

Christina Aguilera: It�s Aguilera, Mr. Bennett.

Tony Bennett: Sorry about that, sweetheart, I don�t speak Spanish. Strike up the track!

(Cue Music � musik version of �Genie In A Bottle�)

�If you wanna be with me
Baby there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
I gotta like what you do�

(Music stops)

Tony Bennett: Oh baby! That was fly! That was ghetto! That was skippy dippy do! Thanks for joining me, sweetheart!

(Christina Aguilera walks off the stage)

That�s just terrific. Well, as you can see, it�s great album of great songs sung by great artists like myself.

(Suddenly, Flavor Flav rushes the stage)

Flavor Flav: What about me, BOY!

Tony Bennett: Oh right, I just forgot. From the wonderful group Public Enemy, Flavor Flav. I like this guy so much. He�s so fun to be around, he�s a great conversationalist and it�s because of him, I always know what time it is. Hey Flav, how�d you like to do our duet for the people?

Flavor Flav: Yeah! Boy! Hit me!

(Flavor Flav & Tony Bennett sing �911 is a joke�)

�So get up get get get get down
9-1-1 is a joke in yo' town
Get up get get get get down
Late 9-1-1 wears the late crown

9-1-1 is a joke, 9-1-1 is a joke�

Tony Bennett: Terrific! Get this new album at all TARGET store locations. It�s great for the kids, a wonderful stocking stuffer for Christmas, or for my Hebrew friends who celebrate �Chanookahuh�.

This is Tony Bennett saying, if anyone has found the heart I left in San Francisco so many years ago, please let me know. I�ll pay you good money to get it back. Good night and god bless you! Flav, what time it is?

(Flavor Flav starts rambling)

(Fade out)

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Replies:

...In A Prison Cell -- jennings, 20:16:27 11/13/06 Mon