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Date Posted: 03:42:13 03/25/05 Fri
Author: Stupid
Subject: Switch to Comcast and cut down your trees, fool!
In reply to: Is there a Satellite Dish in the House!!! 's message, "Somebody Help Me." on 16:52:09 03/19/05 Sat

It will increase your reception or something BUT most importantly it will reduce the chances of a ninja ambush. Ninjas are notorious for hanging out in trees waiting to ambush people. I would suggest also cutting down your neighbors trees to make sure that there are no ninjas hiding in there. If they make a fuss you can just threaten to charge them with one count of harboring ninjas! Nobody wants law troubles.

There are actually MANY things you can do to reduce the chances of ninja attacks. Here's the five top things according to the CIA's lead authority on ninjas, with whom I've corresponded for many years, to help reduce your chances of being attacked by a ninja.

1)Don't tick off a ninja and/or friend of a ninja.

2)Cut down all the trees in your yard.(It's number 2 on the list! Do it now!)

3)Don't dress up like a ninja and then prance around your yard and sarcastically sing 'Ohhh look at me, I'm a ninja. I'm so scary. Look how high I can kick. Ohhh I'm a high kicking ninja. Oops I think I split my pants. How embarrassing, my ninja turtle underwear are showing. I wear those cuz I'm a badbutt ninja.'(Wearing ninja turtle underwear is cool, just don't dress up and do the song and dance thing along with it.)

2)Don't have bake sales at your house. It attracts ninjas like...I don't know...a lot.

1)Always wear sunblock if u're going out in the sun. It may not prevent ninja attacks but according to that one song I heard that one time...it's pretty important.

So there you have it. I know, a lot of people are skeptical but I know those things will help. How?

Well, my neighborhood has been ninja free since 1983, that's how!

Yup. I know whereof I speak.

peace!

Stupid

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