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Date Posted: 15:54:58 04/16/05 Sat
Author: Dignard
Subject: William Shatner Karaoke
In reply to: Dignard 's message, "SKETCH" on 15:51:38 04/16/05 Sat

William Shatner Karaoke

William Shatner...Darrell Hammond
Guest...Fred Armisen
Guest...Kenan Thompson
Guest...Horatio Sanz
Guest...Rachel Dratch
Woman...Maya Rudolph
Man...Tom Brady

Announcer: Ever have a dull moment at a party.

(all guests nod their heads)

Announcer: Well, not anymore. Introducing the new karaoke party game, hosted by the real William Shatner. Now, you can enjoy the fast music you love with a man everybody can relate too.

(Shatner enters, and from now on talks in slow, halting voice that he always speaks in)

William Shatner: Hello, everybody. I'm William Shatner, and I'm here to introduce this magnificent creation that will make your parties stir with excitement. You'll get all sorts of rockin' hits including...

(all following songs that he sings show superimposition of song title and lyrics he sings)

(SONG: Billie Jean)

William Shatner:
Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that...I...am...the..one.

(SONG: Born To Run)

It is a death trap, it is a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we're still young
Because tramps like us, baby we were born to run.

(SONG: Thunderstruck)

Thunderstruck
Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck
Na-na-na-na-na-na...na...na
Thunderstruck.

Announcer: Now, you and you're friends will be rockin' out with one of TV's greatest actors; from about 30 years ago.

Woman: I always loved William Shatner. This guy is awesome. Star Wars is the best. Now, when I go up to sing, I don't sound like the worst one up there.

Man: I can't get enough of this guy. It's as if he is just saying the words instead of singing them, and he sounds out every syllable! Never has music been this original.

William Shatner: Hey, that's what I'm here for, baby! My karaoke machine will do wonders for all out there with no singing capability.

Announcer: You'll get "Celebration," "Cum On Feel The Noize," "Don't Speak," "Stayin' Alive," "Disco Inferno," "Ruby Tuesday," and many, many more.

William Shatner: Hey, I got plenty of time. And I'll help clean up when the party's over. I have to mention that my fingers prune very easily, so I may want to stay out of the dishwashing section, if you...know...what...I mean.

Announcer: Your parties will never be the same when Captain Kirk sings these tunes.

(SONG: Love In An Elevator)

William Shatner:
I kinda hope we get stuck
Nobody gets out alive
She said I will show you how to fax in the mailroom, honey
And have you home by five

Love...in...an...elevator
Living it up when I'm going down
Love...in...an...elevator
Loving it up until I hit the ground.

(SONG: Raspberry Beret)

She wore a
Raspberry beret
The kind you would find at a secondhand store
Raspberry beret
And if it is warm she wouldn't wear much more
Raspberry beret
I think I love her

Announcer: Next time you throw a shin-dig, make sure you bring home the goods with this karaoke machine. And make sure you have William Shatner there for support!

William Shatner: That's what I'm here for, baby! Make sure you buy one today.

(fin)



Jason Dignard

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