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Date Posted: 09:16:21 06/25/05 Sat
Author: Justin Kaplowitz
Subject: I've never done one before, But I've never said no to a request yet, so...
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "It was a very good monologue, J.K." on 16:01:10 06/24/05 Fri

Here's how I'm going to do this, It's just going to be a list of highlights, lowlights & Random Miscellany--if needed--and a rating out of 5 stars. But I gotta warn you, I tend to be a little acid tounged at times, so watch out. Now then, right this way...

OPENING

HIGHLIGHTS: Gilligan! Sean Penn acting like the humorless robot he's become, The fact that "Ahnold" Wants to kick his ass, Tom Cruise being shorter than Katie Holmes, Lewis Black not wanting to take it anymore.

LOWLIGHTS: None, they all deserve to be taken down a peg.

COMMENTARY: The best way I can describe this whole "TomKat" thing is by comparing him to Prince Charles and the fact that he always went for the commoners. Not saying that Katie Holmes is a "Commoner", but think about it for a second; it does make sense. She's getting a free ride--no, not THAT kind of ride--from "Mr. Ultraego". I'd go into it more, but I don't want to wind up like Lewis Black's character.

CERTIFICATION: ****
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MONOLOUGE

HIGHLIGHTS: NO COMMENT

LOWLIGHTS: NO COMMENT

COMMENTARY: I gave at the office.

CERTIFICATION: Let the others rate this one.
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MILLER @ McD'S

HIGHLIGHTS: I'm a huge fan of Dennis Miller, the quips were very Dennis-esque. Liked the McEnroe twist at the end.

LOWLIGHTS: There could've been more Lew.

COMMENTARY: I'll be honest, I didn't watch Dennis' show on CNBC. But it didn't matter cause I knew the kind of humor that he does wouldn't work in a semi-serious forum on CNBC. The show was doomed from the start, as was McEnroe's. I mean really, what do atheletes know about current events?

CERTIFICATION: *** 1/2
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HITLER COFFEE

HIGHLIGHTS: Good role for Black, same for others all around, Great "Gee, I don't know what the problem could possibly be" kind of sketch. Calling the coffee Kosher.

LOWLIGHTS: Found it Ironic that a Jewish person--Mr. Black--Was at the helm of this sketch. Plus the makeshift Hitler walk at the end seemed a little expected.

COMMENTARY: As I'm sure you can tell by my last name, I too am Jewish, so I had my reservations about it, but it just turns out to be a harmless satire.

CERTIFICATION: ****
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FUNERAL HOME

HIGHLIGHTS: Black actually plays a guy who isn't (Based on/actually is) himself--I.e. The Bela Lugosi Accent.

LOWLIGHTS: I know it's a commercial, but it was a little too short, also could have had more jokes.

COMMENTARY: None

CERTIFICATION: ** 1/2
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UPDATE

HIGHLIGHTS: Forbes Celebrity List, Both MJ Jokes, Suedekis' segment, The 1st Bush Joke, The "TomKat" joke, The "Dr. Deadly" joke, Nike ID LAB, celebrity e-mail viruses, Batman/"Michael Keaton is poor" Joke. Finesse's Mike Tyson Rant.

LOWLIGHTS: Earthquakes, The 2nd Bush Joke, The Lindsey Lohan joke, New England/Immigrants, German Wal-Mart, Christian Slater.

COMMENTARY: Why wasn't Suedekis in the cast list? Otherwise, it's a helluva lot better than Update on TV.

CERT: *** 1/4
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PLEDGE DRIVE

HIGHLIGHTS: Everything that Lewis Black did, The Russian Bartender, His assistant with the cue cards. The MacGyver-esque way the prizes were used at the end.

LOWLIGHTS: It was one of those sketches where it just "Ended", I would have wanted to see Lewis renounce the prizes that saved him. Also, this is the 2nd sketch where he winds up with a heart attack; are we THAT Angry with ourselves?

COMMENTS: I too find it ridiculous to spend $200 on a 3-CD (Or even DVD) set of something, when I can buy it for $35 dollars @ FYE. I even think $35 is too much for a towel!

CERT: *** 3/4
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REAL CELEBRITY MOMENTS

HIGHLIGHTS: Nick Cage acting like he would.

LOWLIGHTS: WAY too short, I'd forgive that if it was a 3 part bit spread throughout the show using other stars.

COMMENTS: Zip.

CERT: *** 1/2
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PSYCHIATRIST

HIGHLIGHTS: Very few, only the opening bit with Jumping out the window and SOME parts involving Dratch--No, not THOSE.

LOWLIGHTS: It just looks like a 12:50 sketch to me.

COMMENT: We get it, Rachel Dratch has a rack that's too big for the rest of her, we all get it.

CERT: * 1/2
-----------------------------------------------------------

AL FRANKEN

HIGHLIGHTS: You're kidding, right?

LOWLIGHTS: This just seemed wrong for a reason that I just can't put my finger on. Maybe because there were too many inside jokes Re: SNL, I'd limit it to about 1-2 per sketch. Maybe it's one thing to have some guy play Franken--Just ask Jeff Richards--But IMHO, nobody can play Al (and Tom) other than Al (And Tom) him/themselves. That really damaged the whole thing.

COMMENT: I hereby ordain this sketch my "Bomb of the Week", and for that...(WHISTLE) KA-BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

CERT: 0*
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GET UP

HIGHLIGHTS: It was an OK Premise, it would've been better in the form of a PSA.

LOWLIGHTS: Another sketch where it just ends. Maybe adding a PSA-type tagline at the end would have improved it.

COMMENTS: None that I could see.

CERT: **
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And In Closing...

OVERALL: ** 3/4

FINAL THOUGHT: I saw a post--I forget who wrote it--saying things along the line of "this episode would have a lot of anger". It was definately there, but somehow there wasn't enough of it. Good 1st half, Major Flat tire in the 2nd half.

Well, I hope I can do these reviews more often, it was fun doing these again--even if it wasn't the actual show itself. Until then...

"The Doctor Is Out!" I never thought I'd say that again.

J.K.---

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