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Date Posted: 23:14:35 11/21/04 Sun
Author: Jack Farrell
Subject: Re: SNY: The Lost Comedy
In reply to: Jack Farrell 's message, "SNY: The Lost Comedy" on 23:12:24 11/21/04 Sun

Weekend Update Jokes Luke Wilson Show
By Jack Farrell

Tina: Earlier this week on the set of Law and Order Criminal Intent star Vincent Donofrio fainted while filming this week. Producers say Vincent will be back soon and the fainting incident was brought on when Mr.Donofrio looked into a mirror and creeped himself out.

Amy: Earlier this week Ebay allowed someone to start accepting bids on a 10 year old grilled cheese sandwich that apparently resembles the Virgin Mary. The bids are expected to go high and may even top the 25 grand bid last week for the Jesus burgers.

Tina: This week it was announced that the Mormon bible would be published by a mainstream publisher and for the first time ever not be free. Gee Utah isn’t Ken Jennings bringing you enough money already.

Amy: This week in Chicago a deer found its way into Chicago International Airport. Many passengers felt sorry for the deer when it started crying “Mother, mother!”

Tina: In Australia the wild life personnel are contemplating shooting birth control darts at kangaroos to help control booming populations. Some experts don’t believe the darts will work due to the kangaroo’s being devote catholics.

Amy: In Health news this week it is being reported that more children than ever before are being prescribed antidepressants. Hey kids you know why you’re depressed? Because your either the ugly one, dumb one, or the smart guy who won’t take the test for me- uh okay so just deal with it!

Tina: In technology this week it was discovered that Bill Gates is in fact has the most Spam email of any person in the world. To retaliate against this billionaire Gates does what we all wish we could and kills every single person who sent him one.

Amy: In Washingto DC this week a turkey named “Biscuits” was given a reprieve and has become the official national turkey. Biscuits was unavailable for comment still mourning the murder of his family members; Gravy, Rice, Green Bean, and Corny.

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