Re: Live from Snlyou.jt.org its Saturday Night You Ch 6 -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 22:08:28 12/28/04 Tue
Author: Jack Farrell
Subject: Re: Live from Snlyou.jt.org its Saturday Night You Ch 6
In reply to: Jack Farrell 's message, "Live from Snlyou.jt.org its Saturday Night You Ch 6" on 22:07:24 12/28/04 Tue

Live from snlyou.jt.org its Saturday Night You! Chapter 6
By Jack Farrell

Tragedy

The 2002 regular season had been a huge ratings success for the folks at SNY but the behind the scenes turmoil that took place amongst them was starting to reach mammoth proportions, also since writer Steve Worek went back to the past and caused Lincoln�s assassination production costs were up at SNY studios, the ratings had to hold were they were at or SNY was in danger of being lost forever. Also many of the writers were growing tired of some of the initiation ceremonies that were taking place at SNY but throughout the Mock Summer Season 2002, Patrick just wouldn�t budge.

Patrick Lonergan, Executive Producer

If there is one thing I have always loved it is the absolutely brutal initiation ceremonies that we put the new writers through when they come in here. I didn�t do it with the original staff since I was 100 percent focused on survival, but now since I had a little bit of weight to throw down I figured what the hell let�s have us some fun. I�ll never forget when Nick Mayhew joined the staff, we forced him to strip naked, roll around in a tub of chocolate and then run into a bee farm and shake up all the crates the bees were in. The best thing about it all was he was allergic, those were good times.

Nick Mayhew, Writer

I still have convulsions at night ever since my SNY initiation but I gotta say it was all worth it. The amount of creative freedom that you had at SNY was just overwhelming and I really relished it. The ratings we had during the 2001-2002 season were just great and despite the fact that SNY bankrupted me with medical bills I still feel honored to have been a part of the club.

J.P. Ragan, Writer

The 2nd season was a great year for SNY on air but the behind the scenes crap still wouldn�t stop and some of us were getting worried that things might leak out onto the show, things got especially bad when one of our initiation ceremonies went terribly wrong.

Jack Wilson, Writer

I remember my initiation ceremony very clearly, Patrick made me go to a local liquor store and buy a bunch of beer for some underage kids outside, it was all going well until I turned around and realized their was a police officer behind me. Apparently the officer screamed something like �I can�t take this kind of disrespect in our community anymore� and started wailing on me like you wouldn�t believe. The cops dropped the charges but I unfortunately can�t see out of my left eye or pee standing up anymore, it was a bad day.

Patrick Lonergan

Jack Wilson�s savage beating wasn�t what initiation ceremonies at SNY are all about, their supposed to be about bringing people together and degrading them for the enjoyment of veteran writers, not straight up violence. I immediately apologized for what had happened and he was pretty cool about it. As a gift I let him take off the Julia Roberts show that year, I still don�t know why we picked her to host she�s a fucking bitch.

Jessica Whitt, Writer

Things were rough all over with the initiation ceremonies but at least my life was starting to get back to normal, things around the writers room started to get real hot when new writer Mark Jennings Reese the II decided to join the SNY team.

Mark Jennings Reese II, Writer

I joined the staff at SNY back in the 2002 summer not really knowing exactly what the hell I was going to do. Here I was surrounded by legends like Lanza, Lonergan, Ragan, Whitt, and so many others. All I had were sketches with silly songs and about how much celebrities sucked, but Lonergan let me into his place and I am eternally grateful. Its also where I had the most passionate relationship of my life took place and I will be forever grateful for it.

Emily Cadic, Writer

The hot naked affair between Kyle Diede and Mark Jennings Reese II was something that Jessica and I loved. Finally we were able to see two guys getting it on with one another. A lot of people don�t think women get turned on by two guys caressing and fornicating with one another but Whitt and I loved it, finally some hot guy on guy lovemaking.

Justin Kaplowitz, Writer

Look I have absolutely nothing against gay or lesbian relationships but that whole Reese- Diede situation was too much for our male writers. We were all red blooded Americans but that doesn�t mean we want to see the two guys naked on the writers room floor exploring every orifice of each others body with chicken grease and magic markers, its just like when your watching a porno, the women must be equal or higher than the amount of men in the scene. I didn�t want the relationship to end the way it did though, nobody deserved to see their loved ones go in the way they did.

Patrick Lonergan, Writer

I remember the day the incident happened I was opening up the writers room for the week for the Monday pitch when I saw Mark and Kyle on the floor doing what two gay men know best. I was in a good mood so I told them to finish up. Kyle was yelling � Your making me so hot my lord� and Mark would scream back �That�s right Mark Jennings Reese the II is your king� then Kyle said �too hot!� and that�s when Kyle Diede spontaneously combusted and died in Mark Jennings Reese II arms. We would have done a best of Kyle Diede show but he was still brand new and we didn�t have enough material from him. I instead got a janitor to scoop up the ashes and put them in a coffee can. We had a memorial service for him later that day and flushed him down the toilet. It was a rough day.

Vincent Gargiulo, Writer

After the Kyle Diede incident Reese was very distracted yet to his credit was still able to write material for the Tara Reid show. He showed up for the next few weeks with a different kind of female hooker each day, he said he was straight and what happened before was that the devil got into his head. I told him to relax, that everyone is at least a little curious about same sex relations its nothing to worry about, my uncle helped me with a lot of that stuff when I was a kid.

The sexual tension at SNY studios was at a peak but after the Reese-Diede incident libido�s started to cool down, unfortunately so did the ratings. Also, in a preemptive strike, Patrick Lonergan decided to hire new writers for the show in case some of the old timers were planning to leave. This decision would turn out to be an unwise one for Lonergan.

In the next edition of Live from Snlyou.jt.org its Saturday Night You find out about the problems of an overpopulated writing staff as well as the extreme violence that took place amongst writers to get their stuff on the air. Also find out about how SNY was cancelled and the miracle that happened to get the internet execs to change their minds, all this and more next time!

Jack

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Note -- Hillary, 15:05:49 12/29/04 Wed