Re: WU Jokes for Queen Latifah's show -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 09:45:43 10/07/04 Thu
Author: Jim Bevan
Subject: Re: WU Jokes for Queen Latifah's show
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "WU Jokes for Queen Latifah's show" on 09:43:42 10/07/04 Thu

WEEKEND UPDATE JOKES
Jim Bevan

Tina Fey: The Merck pharmaceutical company has recalled its arthritis drug Vioxx from the market after studies showed that frequent use of the medicine can contribute to strokes and heart attacks in elderly users. Concerns have been raised, however, that elimination of the drug will actually lead to an increase in heart attacks, especially when Merck shareholders learn that Vioxx accounted for one quarter of their annual sales.

Amy Poehler: Janet Leigh, the actress who starred in pictures such as Psycho and The Manchurian Candidate and the mother of Jamie Lee Curtis, recently passed away at her home in Beverly Hills. Though coroners ruled the cause of her death as vasculitis, Beverly Hills police suspect foul play and are investigating Norman Bates, Michael Myers and a possibly brainwashed Major Bennet Marco.

Tina Fey: Reverend Al Sharpton recently celebrated his 50th birthday. To commemmorate the occasion, the city of New York presented the reverend with a golden jogging suit.

A Parisian toy store is currently marketing a line of action figures modeled after Islamic suicide bombers. Finally, French parents can find the perfect holiday gift for their anti-Semitic, terrorist sympathizing bastard children.

Finally, on a sad note, the world of comedy has lost another titan. Rodney Dangerfield passed away earlier this week at the age of 82, but he left a legacy of laughter and inspiration that will last for years. Saturday Night Live was honored to have Rodney as a host back in 1980, and we would like to leave you tonight with memories of his talent.

(Dissolve to Rodney Dangerfield's stand-up monologue from March 8, 1980)

Rodney Dangerfield (in the clip): Yeah, I'll ya, nothin' goes right, you know? My sex life is nothin' - my wife put me down for once a month.. put me down for once a month! Oh, I'm lucky - two guys I know, she cut out completely!
I'll tell ya', my wife never went for me, I'm not a sexy guy - I know I'm not sexy! Why, this morning when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling! Are you kidding, I know I'm ugly - I stuck my head out the window, got arrested for mooning!
(fade out to a still shot of Rodney with the words "Rest in Peace, Rodney" at the bottom of the screen)

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