Re: Sketch Post -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 22:20:33 05/12/04 Wed
Author: Prateek Srivastava
Subject: Re: Sketch Post
In reply to: Prateek Srivastava 's message, "Sketch Post" on 22:16:36 05/12/04 Wed

The Kenan and Kel Reprisal

Kenan Thompson
Kel Mitchell(Special Guest)
Marlon Wayans(Cameo)
Orlando Jones(Cameo)
Dan Castellaneta(Cameo)
Snoop Dogg
The Writer: Unknown Person

(Open with the SNL backstage area. The camera pans around to show Kenan walking onto the scene and he suddenly bumps into another person. Camera pans to show it is Kel Mitchell)
Kenan: Oh, uh sorry about that.
(He gets a good look at the person�s face)
Kenan: Hey wait, you�re, You�re Kel. What�s up man.
(Kel looks at him)

Kel: Kenan?
(He shouts loudly)
Kel: Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! What is up. I finally found you
(They embrace)
Kenan: What are you doing here Kel.

Kel: Well, I�m here to see you. Things are going pretty good for you. You�re on SNL and you�re in some movies. I just hope you didn�t forget that it was comedic duo of Kenan AND KEL, that brought you to this point.

Kenan: I see, but uh Lorne noticed me personally, then he flew me out here I auditioned and I was here. But I see what you�re saying. You are wondering why you are not also in SNL.

Kel: I mean, you doing great, and I have done nothing since the Kenan and Kel show. I was funny on that show also, why am I the one with nothing.

Kenan: Oh come on, you have done some things since the show. What about, that commercial for Pepsi. It was a super-bowl commercial.

Kel: Please don�t remind me about that. What stupid commercial it was, I fall in love with a fattie, while a screwed up 80's song plays in the background.

Kel: All I want is a chance to tryout for the show. Can you get me a recommendation.

Kenan: You want me to march into Lorne�s office and get you an audition. That is not how people are selected for SNL, they search comedy clubs with scouts. Besides, I am just a lowly featured player.

Kel: So, you are just a featured player.

Kenan Thompson: As a featured player, I don�t ever get to talk to Lorne, I don�t get to personally chat the host, in fact I just am given my lines expected to memorize them and then just say them. The featured players are not supposed to come the after-party but Lorne allows us a small table.

Kel: You can be the first featured player to talk to Lorne. It�s ground breaking.

Kenan: How about no, I don�t want to risk it. I am going strong at SNL, and I don�t want to lose that.

Kel: Come on man, help a brother out.

Kenan:(Defiantly) We are not brothers, and I hope you�re not bringing up black thing. Just because we worked together doesn�t not mean I�ll go crazy for you. Plus, your career isn�t so bad.

Kel: Easy for you to say, Mr. Barbershop 2.

Kenan: Hey now, I earned it, and you were in some movies also. Weren�t you in Mystery Men.

Kel: It was supposed to be my big break, but it turned into a flop with Ben Stiller and that guy who plays Pee Wee Herman.

Kenan: Pee Wee is a funny guy, don�t diss him. Besides, you were in a film recently.
(Kel looks confused)
Kenan: Yeah, you old bum, too busy with your head up your ass, to remember that you were in Ladykillers.

Kel:(He is all mad now) That wasn�t me in Ladykillers. That was Marlon Wayans, you dumbass!

Kenan: There�s a Marlon Wayans. God how many Wayans Brothers are there?
(Marlon Wayans walks up to them)

Marlon: I lost count of my bros after 7. But anyways, guys what is up.

Kenan: Marlon Wayans, I presume.

Marlon: Yeah dawgs, what is up, I remember you guys on the Kenan and Kel show. (He looks at Kel). Aw man, you were really hilarious on the show. Hey Kel, �Who Loves Orange Soda?�

Kel: Man, this is not the time or place for that.

Marlon: Come on dawg, I snuck into Studio 8H, by telling the security I�m Malcolm Jamal Warner, to see you guys and then you diss me like that. (He notices some security) Hey, let�s walk this way.
(He leads them past the backstage area, to Home base)
(The camera pans to show the audience who is confused and then pan around to show the three of them on Home base)

Marlon: So come on guys, what is it like on SNL, you grew up together on Nickelodeon and now you both are the show. What is like being the same stage as Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, and my man, Damon Wayans.

Kel: Wait a minute, you think I�m on the cast.

Marlon: You�re not, but it shows you in the opening credits surrounded by ladies, and then it shows Kenan�s head sticking out of the limo.
(Camera pans to show Kel confused.)

Kenan: Oh that guy in the credits isn�t Kel, it�s the other new guy, and his name is Finesse Mitchell.

Marlon: They picked some dude named Finesse Mitchell over My man, Kel. I am going to fix this mistake.(Walks offstage)

Kel: Look Kenan I am really desperate, I mean I don�t have any other projects coming up. I�m just afraid I will disappear off the face of the earth, never appearing in anything again. I�m a funny guy and I don�t want that to happen.
(Suddenly, Orlando Jones walks onto Home Base)

Orlando Jones: Don�t worry Kel Mitchell, even if you do disappear from the public eye, it�s not so bad, you don�t have to worry about, paparazzi, fans, media, uh, people in general, or any type of human contact. Life is very good to you.

Kel: Yeah uh, who the hell, are you.
Orlando Jones: I was guy in the old 7-UP commercials, but it doesn�t matter. Goodbye Kel, and hello strip club.
(He walks off the stage)

Kenan: Look Kel, it�s not that I don�t care, it�s just I-

Kel: Look man, don�t explain yourself, I get it. You know what I�m out of here.

Kenan: Wait Kel, I guess I can help. I�ll talk to my agent and he might be able to get you an audition.

Kel Mitchell: Really?

Kenan: On MADTV.

Kel: Oh come on!

Kenan: Well, it�s the best I can do on short notice.
(They continue to argue, so no one can hear any real dialogue. Finally Kenan�s voice can be heard)

Kenan: Look man, I�m sorry, but I can�t help you. If you don�t like your career, you can always just run back to Nickelodeon and be the freak adult actor on all of their shows.

Kel: I will go back, and I�ll be the best damn actor on that whole network. So I don�t need any of your sh*t-ass help. You can just crawl back to your little goody good show now.

Kenan: Go screw yourself, you little imp.

Kel: Imp? Aren�t we getting sophisticated. Is it because you are rising to the top with your tv and movie appearances. Where�s your Designer Clothes, and Bentley, you rich bastard!

Kenan: Get Bent!
(Kenan walks off Home base, and Kel just looks straight ahead at the camera)

Kel: Who gives a rat�s ass about Saturday Night Live. I�m out of here. But I will leave you guys in the audience with something.
(He clears his throat)
Kel: �Who Loves Orange Soda, Kel Loves Orange Soda. Is it true? Mmmhmm! I do I do
I do-ouoohh!�
(Audience applauds and Kel walks off the stage, and the camera pans to the audience, it shows Dan Castellaneta in the audience. He gets up and looks at the camera)

Dan Castellaneta: Ah, the sweet smell of a reunion of two child stars. Even though they hate each other now, it was a pretty cool idea. It�s great for this episode.

Dan Castelleneta: I�m just confused, I mean I�m whisked all the way to New York, for no reason, just to say some lines for no pay. What was the point of me being in this sketch. What kind of drugs is the writer of this sketch on.
(The writer for the sketch walks up into the shot )

The Writer: Okay, Guy who does the voice for Homer Simpson, you can stop talking. This sketch is over!

Dan: And, how about telling me why the hell I was here at all.

The Writer: (Smiles) I just introduced a new page in the book of being a minority. Did you notice everyone else in the sketch. You were just here as a pass to show diversity. Hah, who�s the Token now!
(Dan Castellaneta just shakes his head and the writer just continues to laugh, and the screen fades to black.)

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Replies:

Sketch Post -- Prateek Srivastava, 20:19:18 05/14/04 Fri
- Re: Sketch Post -- Prateek Srivastava, 22:11:30 06/02/04 Wed