Re: I have a weird sense of obligation at times -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 18:03:32 06/10/04 Thu
Author: CCS
Subject: Re: I have a weird sense of obligation at times
In reply to: CCS 's message, "I have a weird sense of obligation at times" on 23:27:18 06/06/04 Sun

Well, time to finish up what I started, way after everyone else finished. As "The Distance" hums in the background, here goes the review:

fanfiction - there were some good ideas in this: the dramatization of fanfiction, using a film that really shouldn't inspire fanfiction, and the geek network. I just feel though, that it doesn't get quite as tacky as it should. One thing that defines fanfiction, to me, is awkward descriptions. Perhaps Gerald could have had a more active role in the sketch as narrator, describing things that really didn't need describing. For example, detailed, yet detailless accounts of what Mary had for dinner, or how God enjoyed touching her on the ear lobe. "I remember when I created ear lobes, what a glorious day that was." This could lead to attempted erotic narrator dialogue, "Indeed, it was a glorious day, and also upon that day God created the labia." Also, there is the liberty with the characters that fanfiction writers will take that I feel you could have exploited further. I know the manger thing comes along later, plotwise, but it might be funny if Mary is always forced to room in mangers because she is half-sheep. This is the type of completely disastrous characterization that would lift your piece a bit more. Very funny as is, though.

update - the unnecassary political jokes continue unabated. While there's certainly nothing wrong with the "abhorrent" joke, that one was genuinely funny, the Singapore and bubble bath just leave an aftertaste of dead, beaten horse. And I've never been one for horseflesh. Cinco de Mayo was terrific. The only WU anchor ever who might attempt that gun safety joke is Colin; just like his usual material it's a tangle of words that could use some sorting. I liked the Sasser virus bit, but I feel it would have been funnier if you made the virus sassier and a bit sharper with its jabs. Use a rapier, not a baseball bat.

miller - one thing I'm willing to bet is that everyone here has an opinion of some sort on whether sketches like this should be written. You seem to have a proclivity for writing sketches featuring the children of former cast members or their characters. I can see why in this case, you really have a handle on how to write for Dennis Miller. Some of this is just gold Millerese, like that bit about the Colloseum or Marie Curie. Some doesn't work, and some I just don't get, but the former is far offset by the lines that work and the later is a crucial ingredient to any well-written Millerese. Still, I can't help but feel the introduction of sons and appearance of Carvey and such borders on being a hack. I would have recommended only having one Dennis Miller on screen, played by Jimmy Fallon, and worked in other people for him to bounce off. And finally, the needless shot at what is general regarded as one of SNL's best eras just doesn't work. If you're going to say the show sucked for six years straight, you need a reason why - not everyone will accept it on faith. I'm not saying kill the line, but it needs a revision to get the audience to agree. "The best sketch we had was about a cat driving cars off cliffs." Something that focuses the years of comic moments into a single bit or series of bits that people won't mind looking at and saying, "Yeah, that is stupid. Why did we laugh at that?"

shopping - normally I don't bother with things like this, but I feel this has a misleading title. "Shopping With Baby" implies, if nto plainly states, that it is the baby that will turn this into a comic piece, and provide unexpected developments. You're setting us up for mid-aisle bathroom gags. The focus of the piece, however, is not on the baby but the mother who has a few issues. I really like how the mother treats the baby, with the lines about stomach cancer and calling the cops. The psychiatrist line is hilarious, and I think, as a whole, encapsulates her character's oblivious philosophy. Very funny piece, though I'm not sure it required the turn-around at the end with the stock boy threatening the baby. This one's tough to end because it has such a strong middle.

viagra - another minicommercial that leaves me wondering. From a parody perspective, isn't enzyte the drug that uses the Bob dialogue? I guess you can switch it to Viagra, much bigger name recognition, but I think you should keep the character of Bob very similar. Bob doesn't speak, he just walks around with gigantic dopey grins on his face. Also, if you're appealing to male demographics, and you say it takes balls to do something, that in turn is saying that going the other way doesn't take balls, and is a weak-willed (p,w)ussy action to take. As such, I feel Bush endorsing this is a bit bass-ackwards. Frankly, it's a tough call either way. All I'm saying is saying your opponent's supporters have balls isn't very insulting.

moon - it really sucks to have a reviewed lead off by pointing out a factual error, but you're going to have to deal with it. The dark side of the moon is not dark. It gets just as much sun as the "light" side. The difference is it never faces the Earth. It's still quite a lonely place to be, and the dialogue focused on the boringness still works. Anyway, the sketch as a whole is really funny, with some great gags. I especially liked the sports correspondent. Breaking the fourth wall (or would this count as the fifth?) at the end of the sketch was really funny as well.

gameshow - you have a good plan here, take world events and pair them up with reality shows for a hybrid viewing mix. The first segment was terrific, and the prize of having a school named after a contestant was genious. The New Liars Club was good. Felt like it was missing a little. The last one really kind of stunk, for a few reasons: 1. It wasn't based off a reality show, which appeared to be your entire concept. 2. The real game show that you did base it off was boring and uneventful. So many more dynamic gameshows to pick from, like the Pyramid, Press Your Luck or Let's Make a Deal. Here, I'm suddenly worried that something else could be as gameless and insipid as Card Sharks. 3. Donald Trump already came on SNL and received about fifty nine thousand hand jobs for his ego by the inclusion of "You're Fired" in every sketch. Pander, pander, pander. See horseflesh comment above. If I sound angry, it's because what was shaping out to be a great sketch just had some concept problems and took a nose dive in the last third.

road - rap comes out so bad on paper, it's a wonder so many music execs are going for it. Anyway, the Chris Rock line was more or less used on SNL already, and it's the kind of line that works once. This sketch kind of skitters around funniness, but never really grabbed hold of me at any point. I don't know whether it's the stream of conciousness flow, random inclusion of insults or just the fact that the rap didn't deliver. Anyway, I just felt a more concentrated effort was needed on this piece to really bring out something strong in it, instead of a pile of weakish elements.

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