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Date Posted: 18:53:56 06/22/04 Tue
Author: Hillary
Subject: Reviews, probably the only ones I can do this summer
In reply to: Patrick Lonergan 's message, "REVIEWS: Uma Thurman 06/12/04" on 18:04:01 06/12/04 Sat

Someone once put their favorite line(s) with their reviews…I think I’ll try that.

Off With A Bang: This is cute but a little predictable. Then again, it was obvious to me that the host was Uma Thurman and not Jimmy Fallon...but I think you'd probably catch a lot of people off guard if this was actually aired on an SNL episode. Technical note: I think Jimmy Fallon <i>will</i> be in a summer movie, assuming that Taxi is coming out in the summer.
"We were never meant to do this for entertainment, we just don't like you." -Awkward grammar. This can mess up a perfectly funny line, so watch out.
Technical note: "Vato" is not a Spanish word that I know of. When I looked it up, I got "vate" (bard) and "vatio" (watt). I know it doesn't really matter if the only point you're trying to make is that the guy's a Mexican, but in that case I feel the line could be funnier, I don't think fake Spanish alone could work as a punchline to that scene.
“Wow, I still can't believe this. I mean, *ME* of all people, hosting the first mock episode of the season.”
“Yeah, it’s quite impressive.”

Monologue: I found the Dead President Television Marathon to be a bit much, as well. Uma's dialogue set the audience up for the interruption perfectly. The senator's eulogy is great. I enjoyed the GATTACA reference, although I'm sure a lot of the audience members won't appreciate it, being a slightly obscure movie reference. Brokaw's part wasn't as good as the senator's (although I'm glad you didn't just repeat with the same interruption) "The president remains deceased" was good the first time...after that it starts sounding repetitive. The scene we return to would be hilarious, I'm sure...as long as it's not too graphic. (Blood, however fake, tends to make me queasy.) The flower bit is simple and effective. “Lorne’s threatening to quit again..” I had to smirk.

The Torturer: Did I mention blood makes me queasy? I realize that others can appreciate bloody humor, but keep in mind you risk putting off some of the audience. (See Monty Python for some effective uses of blood in comedy.) Anyway. Bringing the dog in was good. Golden retriever was a good choice because they’re kind of the poster cute dog breed, but I think it would be funny to bring in that pomeranian that they use in the Sharon Osbourne sketches. I feel like the final speech to the dog could have been a little more silly. Like CCS said, it would have been effective to make Mr. Jacobs a more outrageous character. It was good to use different methods of killing the dog and the grandmother, instead of The Torturer repeatedly stabbing everyone. The guillotine is an interesting choice, but not a particularly comical one in my opinion. As far as the comic book goes, I’m not sure how familiar America is with the idea of valuable issues of comics these days…if Beanie Babies were still around, that would have been a good object to use. But who collects things anymore? All in all, the sketch would have been better if it were a bit more weird.
“I like to watch things burn, do you like to watch things burn?”

Escort to Strange: Great setup-not too long but clear enough. The audience should recognize the “nervous guy before tryst” scenario, and once the knock comes we know exactly what is going on. Once the lights go out, we figure something is going to happen…but I think most people wouldn’t expect the discovery of male genitalia, which would make the escort’s response quite funny. (Unless you’re like me, and you’ve studied earthworms in recent biology classes, and someone inevitably asks the question, “Are there any <I>human</I> hermaphrodites??”) In general, her defensiveness works well. The transfer of indignation (questionable word choice there, Hillary..) from the man to the escort is a good role reversal. It seems like you and CCS have covered just about all the bases on this sketch, so I won’t go on repeating stuff. I didn’t get the thing at the end about the blood bank, though.
“What’s wrong with my penis???”

Foosball Wizard: In general, there are some great lines, but the storyline is somewhat random in a confusing (rather than comical) way. The introduction of Gazoo seems too much like a God machine (something in a story that solves the problem all too miraculously) and maybe that was the intention…but if that aspect is supposed to be humorous, you have to point it out to the audience somehow.
Maybe the weakness has something to do with the craziness being spread among all the characters, causing a lack of a “straight man?” (Heh, have to be careful using that expression in order to avoid confusion…)
“You should thank me man. I done schooled you and never even charged you tuition.”
“My posse here wants to have sex with... (pointing at Alex) him.” [Posse waves effeminately at Alex. Brief pause.]

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