I think for me it would depend on the friend/friendship and the transgression. If the transgression was so great that it destroyed the friendship, then NO, you are not obligated to this person. If it's a friendship you want to keep and try to mend, then I'd confront and let this person know how upset/hurt you are and talk it out.... then decide from there. I do know I'm no longer friends with a person who took things I'd said and embellished and distorted them and told people all kinds of crap about me.... I feel no need to hang on to any promises I was keeping for this person. -- Piggy's Pad

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Date Posted: 6:15:20 am, Fri, 10/12/07
Author: V~
Subject: I think for me it would depend on the friend/friendship and the transgression. If the transgression was so great that it destroyed the friendship, then NO, you are not obligated to this person. If it's a friendship you want to keep and try to mend, then I'd confront and let this person know how upset/hurt you are and talk it out.... then decide from there. I do know I'm no longer friends with a person who took things I'd said and embellished and distorted them and told people all kinds of crap about me.... I feel no need to hang on to any promises I was keeping for this person.
In reply to: Sandy 's message, "An ethical question for the group................I've already asked Gerry and know what his response was. But I wanted to ask the people here what their opinion is. Someone who was a friend has broken a promise to me. This person said they would never do this one thing to me and he/she has now done it anyway. It was done in a roundabout manner but the end result is the same. Since the original promise has been broken, do you feel that I am still obligated to keep a promise to him/her? I'm just interested to see where you think the line should be drawn?" on 10:43:42 am, Thu, 10/11/07

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No, Vicki. The friendship's been gone for a long time but it was the breaking of the promise ("I will never, ever do *this*") that's recent. Before the friendship ended, I became aware of the kind of person he/she was and was horrified that I'd been "duped." I'm angry but have learned to never react when I'm mad, so I'm still mulling over what, if anything, I wish to do. But I can say that I've never been happier since this person exited my life. What a relief to *not* deal with the paranoia and neuroses that were constantly heaped on me..........LOL. I think there's a saying somewhere about "Revenge is sweet, but living a happy life is the best revenge ever." But on the flip side, I'm tired, have a doctor's appointment today, the skies are very gray and foreboding and I'm not particularly looking forward to my birthday...........no reason.........I'm just not. So I don't know if I want to blow this person out of the water, along with his/her marriage, or just keep movin' on. (NT) -- Sandy, 7:27:04 am, Fri, 10/12/07
Well then, IMO, you don't owe this person a darned thing.... including having to keep any promises. (NT) -- V~, 8:15:29 am, Fri, 10/12/07

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