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Date Posted: 20:14:34 12/23/11 Fri
Author: mkim
Subject: Precious and bittersweet memories......
In reply to: Cece, hoping you all have a Wonderful Christmas! 's message, "When I was little, every Christmas was magical, even though by today's standards, they were very modest. I got lovely presents from Father Christmas. They were never wrapped, as FC always had unwrapped toys sticking out of his sack. (inside)." on 19:38:55 12/23/11 Fri

Christmas 1978 was going to be the first Christmas I'd ever spent away from my family. My DH and I had been married nearly two years and we were finally on our own, we even had our own tree...even though there was little money for gifts. My Dad, who had been suffering from an extended illnes, was admitted to the hospital on my birthday, on the 17th. He seemed to be improving but then took a turn for the worse and we lost him on Dec.21st.

My DH and I were so broke, we had to take out a loan to go home for his funeral. It was hard, surreal and terrible while we drove the over 800 miles home. When I finally got to my mothers house, it was late, but my family was all there. All of the other 5 children, their spouses, their kids, everyone, waiting for me to come home.
When I walked in the door and saw everyone, I felt surrounded by love and comfort.

We all stayed together, in Mom and Dad's little house, we cooked and cleaned and cried, we sat around and told our own stories about Dad, and after we had Dad's funeral, we did gather for Christmas, on Christmas Eve. Even though the loss of my Dad was one of the most profound events of my life, I'll never forget the comfort I felt, just being with my family, in the face of all that had happened.
Looking back on it, I think our closeness was a testament to one of the many things my Dad did right. He loved Christmas, and was right in the middle of all the Christmas magic in my house as I was growing up.

It is as you said, Cece. "its always the people we love who create precious memories and who make life worthwhile."

Amen.

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[> Was talking about this subject with my family over Thanksgiving... -- The Chief, 22:56:17 12/23/11 Fri [1]

... We've never had real big traditions of gathering with a lot of family on holidays, simply because we're all too far flung. We have traveled for Thanksgiving on occasion, but not more than half a dozen times in 20 years. Most of our Thanksgiving meals have been fairly simple, food-wise. No fancy recipes, just the basics, and, with the exception of the turkey, mostly from boxes and cans and jars. I will make real mashed potatoes if I'm feeling ambitious, but not usually. We don't have a set time for the meal, either, but sometime between 2 and 5.

At Christmas, we're usually in our own home, with wrapping paper everywhere, and a policy of "pjs for three days" LOL. Sometimes I don't even do a big dinner because we're too busy "playing" with our new stuff, and it's hard to serve turkey and all the trimmings when there are three half-built Lego projects on the dining room table! We've had everything from beanie-weenies to breakfast for Christmas dinner. I started serving the "big meal" on Christmas eve instead.

The point is that, even tho our celebrations are simple and sometimes quirky or "non-traditional" (we don't even watch football), we always have them, we're always together, and we always have fun.

It may even be boring, but it's consistent. I don't remember having fancy or extravagant meals or gatherings growing up either, but the consistency of the holiday celebrations is like one big long memory, skipping from year to year like a flat stone across a smooth pond. And I think providing that *consistency* is what is really important for the kids. And for us. The ritual of it sinks deep into our hearts and psyches and provides stability and comfort and hope.


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