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Date Posted: 18:07:53 10/09/11 Sun
Author: chris k
Subject: political humor


This is Meant For Entertainment Purposes Only - It is not a Political Statement and It is Not Intended to Offend.

Sadly the funniest things always have a grain of truth to them-

here goes:

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 55 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

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Replies:

[> sorry guys- meant to put that inside -- chris k, 18:19:36 10/09/11 Sun [1]


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[> Sounds like this came from the Federal Retirement And Utility Department ..... -- The Chief, 18:33:25 10/09/11 Sun [1]


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[> [> LOL - yup - sounds about right to me !!! -- chris k, 07:01:51 10/10/11 Mon [1]


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[> Haha! Love it! -- JAG Junkie (Ronda), 19:55:29 10/09/11 Sun [1]


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[> Ain't it the truth! -- Lee, 12:32:16 10/10/11 Mon [1]


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[> :-) -- Laurence, 15:21:55 10/10/11 Mon [1]


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[> So clever it's more than funnnneeee. -- jan, 18:05:45 10/10/11 Mon [1]


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[> Isn't this just the truth!! My husband was laid off 6 months ago. Has never been without a job since he was 16. Has been on dozens of interviews and has been told repeatedly that he has "Too Much experience" nice way of saying we don't want to hire a guy turning 60! Thank you to our Government. My husband and I just love you, NOT!! -- Cathy F., 21:40:19 10/10/11 Mon [1]


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[> [> I've heard many people are having to "dumb down" their resumes in order to get a job. Sad, isn't it? Good luck to your husband. It's a tough job market out there! -- JAG Junkie (Ronda), 03:32:20 10/11/11 Tue [1]


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[> Had seen this several years ago, and its more true today than back then. Its absolutely correct and scarry!! Had so looked forward to retirement, but not so sure anymore...... -- carramor, 09:30:11 10/12/11 Wed [1]


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