VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 05:48:27 06/28/10 Mon
Author: mom
Subject: How to deal with your boy dancing?

I wondered if any of you had any difficult moments with people commenting that your boy only got 1st because he was a boy? I have girls that have been dancing for a while (so I've been with this a few years) and have heard many moms make statements like that. And now I have a boy starting out. He got a first at his feis (so exciting) but I'm wondering how others dealt with any snide comments... there were several other boys in his competition so I was glad to see that. He thinks that is great! I don't want him to hear these things and get discouraged from dancing. Thanks.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> I have a ds, as well. I tel him to consider the source of these comments--some people are just ignorant and rude to say something like that where it can be overheard. That being said, between you and me ;), I do think that sometimes in the grades at least, some judges are a little easier on the boys than the girls to keep them interested. I think less so in champs. -- ., 06:31:07 06/28/10 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> [> Yes I myself have thought that too. So I was glad to see that he got 1st even with 3 other boys in the group. So at least there was some consolation that he must have done well. :-) Thanks for the advice. -- OP, 07:22:17 06/28/10 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> I should have also added that his best friends are other male dancers--they have so much more to bond about than kids he simply goes to school with. So it is worth the occasional moronic comment to forge those bonds. -- ., 13:23:19 07/12/10 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> The best I can describe it is that it is a totally different sport for boys. For everyone that says that it is "easier" for boys should try to survive the years of trying to teach a little boy to dance! As a mom of a DS, it is definately NOT easy - just different. -- Tom Mom (happy), 19:33:11 06/29/10 Tue [1]

Like the other poster said - consider the source.
Boys have a lot of challenges that girls don't have....it all evens out in the end, even if you do get a few "boy points" along the way. It doesn't happen nearly as often as people would suggest.


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> hmm-girls also have to keep toes out, straighten legs (no pants to hide bends) and be on time -- not sure why this would make boy stand out?, 07:24:20 07/15/10 Thu [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> easy on boys -- dm, 06:49:06 07/01/10 Thu [1]

I have 2 boys that dance, arguably very well. I honestly believe it is not that they are judged easier. It is that the boy stands out from the pack for obvious reasons. They have to keep toes out, straighten legs and still dance on time. It is hard to keep a boy interested for sure -- but it is worth it. The self confidence and one on one time is brilliant!


[ Edit | View ]

[> Zandb did a "tounge-in-cheek" article a couple of years back on "misconceptions" between boy and girl dancers which, at the very least, touches on why parents of dancing daughters might not be sympatheic to your plight (;ink inside) -- --, 01:40:35 07/02/10 Fri [1]

http://zandb.blogspot.com/2005/07/lets-hear-it-for-boys.html


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> That was funny... and I can relate because I have 2 dancing daughters too! But I was more concerned about the mental aspect of things - of discouragement to boys saying they only do well because they are a boy. It's hard enough to get them to continue with dance and then to discourage their feis efforts as well with snide comments. Yes I know there is a lot of politics in ID. Just hoping for a reprieve for a 5 year old boy. -- thanks, 06:13:50 07/02/10 Fri [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> Years ago and in a land far, far away, my daughter split the costs of "private lessons" with a boy in her age group. He did better at the Feis than her because he practiced more and was the better dancer. I do recall one disadvantage that all boys seemed to have.... that weird "gangly period" where their arms and legs grow six inches overnight and they danced like they were in an alien body for about three months. My daughter never had to suffer through that! -- ZandB (;)), 07:19:58 07/02/10 Fri [1]

Last edited by author: Fri July 02, 2010 07:30:55   Edited 1 time.

[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> So true! We have a "gangly" one now and he reminds us of those wooden "limberjack" folk toys. Long arms, huge feet, and thin as a reed! -- still handsome, tho!, 22:07:49 07/12/10 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> At a feis, years ago when my ds was in Prelim, there were 2 other boys in the comp. 3 males judges- you should have heard the moms gripe BEFORE the results. Not 1 boy placed that day. Hopefully best dancer of day will win -- Today- all 3 are world medalists/Tell your son he is GREAT!, 07:52:07 07/08/10 Thu [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> Another thing that boys go through is in small groups, at the oireachtas say, they announce to the whole room that you came in last. It takes a lot of confidence to stand on the podium in fifth of five and smile like it's an amazing result. -- girls don't usually face that, 10:39:14 07/09/10 Fri [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> We've been though this too. (see inside) -- Good luck to your son!, 12:28:11 07/12/10 Mon [1]

In my experience it IS a different sport. Boys competitions are smaller but boys who stay in ID tend to be very good. My son is a world qualifier and an open champ and we are never confident of a recall at the Oireachtas because the margin for error is so small. That is tough to face. I agree with the other posters. Those who make the snide comments make them either way. They complain that the competitions are small making it too easy to move up but then complain when the boys do compete with the girls in PC. Fortunately the boys and their families are so awesome it is worth a few snide comments for the wonderful friends and experiences he will have.


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> Thanks for your comments. We just got a snide comment this week about how my ds got 1st place. And it was from a "friend". So disheartening to be stabbed in the back by a friend. I won't be too happy if she or her kids say it so my ds hears! -- OP, 07:13:53 07/15/10 Thu [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> what about the pressure on the boys to do teams/choreography? if you are at our school and a boy, you better be prepared to do both. -- ., 12:42:53 07/12/10 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> [> My ds doesn't do teams because it conflicts with soccer. I know our school would rather he do this but they have been pretty understanding. But, I think he would quit ID if he had to choose and maybe that's why they are pretty nice about it? -- MW Mom, 06:01:04 07/13/10 Tue [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[> hopefully, they do not say it in front of him. But, you have to move past the comments. it IS easier for boys in some cases. But, that just makes it a different experience for them. Not better, not worse, just different. -- md, 12:44:22 07/12/10 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> These comments have been said to my boys, to me, by friends, strangers, also even before the competition, it's all over the message boards... It is so sad to me that people try to diminish the accomplishments of boys. As they get older it IS discouraging to them. It is so hard to keep those teenage boys dancing but it appears to me that the majority of girl's mom's would be happy to see them gone. What message do you think it sends these boys when the award they get at a feis is half the girls award and they are told it is because they have less competitors? -- mom of ds and dd, 09:00:41 08/17/10 Tue [1]


[ Edit | View ]

[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.