VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 07:21:53 01/11/09 Sun
Author: inside
Subject: What to do?
In reply to: see inside first reply 's message, "Need advice...ds is U9 novice. He's a wonderful little dancer, but doesn't want anyone at school to know..." on 07:15:48 01/11/09 Sun

He says he loves to dance, he loves the shows and the competition. He likes the few other guy pals that he has in dance class. He is just terrified that boys in his school will tease him. He says that the other boys think that dancing is "just for girls". He told me that this is something he will have to hide for the rest of his life. A girl from his school will be starting dance next week and his is terrified that she will tell the rest of his school that he dances.
I asked him if he wanted to quit dance but he says he doesn't. I just need some advice on how to get him through this. I've already given him the "it doesn't matter what others think" speech.
Thanks

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> Hopefully, he will be friends with the new girl and they will have dance in common. Some kids will know, some won't but it's his reaction to the negative that matters. -- hold your head high li'l guy!, 07:31:07 01/11/09 Sun [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> [> He needs to know that his classmates ARE going to find out that he dances (more) -- ., 03:14:20 01/12/09 Mon [1]

That is inevitable. The extent of the teasing is entirely up to him and the way he handles it. When it starts, he's got to give a confident answer. "Yeah, I dance. You might be talented enough, but I doubt it." He needs to turn it into something that he *can* do that they *can't*.

Then he can challenge the head teaser to a dance off, right there. Let the teaser pick who goes first and when it's the teaser's turn to dance, he should totally trash the kid's dancing, in whatever style he wants (he can use a flat, bored voice or something more dramatic, referencing helicopters when talking about the arm movement, horses about the foot movement, etc.) How he does his critique will depend on the personality of the teaser and the relationship he has with him. Even nice kids will tease, so if it's a nice kid, he should do a good natured critique (still trashing the dancing, mind you). If the teaser is a jerk, your son should go all out on the critique.

One way to make it known that he's proud of his dancing is to see if you can arrange for him to do a show for his class. St. Patrick's Day is coming up and you could definitely sell it as a "cultural" event. Make sure he wears something 'manly', even if it's all black. The show should be short, with impressive hardshoe steps. Make sure he has a piece of flooring that will showcase the sounds...what a terrible waste of hard shoe when the stage absorbs all the sound! None of that graceful 'girly' stuff for this show!! If he can toss his arms up at the end, that would be great!

He'll probably want to die at the idea of telling everyone he dances by actually dancing in front of all of them, but this is when peer pressure will work to his advantage. Most of the kids are bound to be impressed as all get out and this will take the wind out of the sails of the teasers. Mostly, anyway.

Teasing is a part of life. He'll probably get some kind of nickname out of his dancing. His attitude toward the teasing is the absolute key. If he handles it well, with confidence in his dancing and his manliness, the teasing will be good natured and minimal. If he gets defensive or scared (and shows it), the teasing will become tormenting and he will eventually quit dancing because of it, but the teasing will still continue.

Good luck!!


[ Edit | View ]


[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.