Re: Respond Please -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 12:50:01 02/12/04 Thu
Author: S
Subject: Re: Respond Please
In reply to: Prateek Srivastava 's message, "Respond Please" on 21:36:35 02/08/04 Sun

Dear Prateek,
I'm not someone who you'll find posted on this site, but I think I can offer a few thoughts for you. I've only read T-giving 1, by the way, but there's a few general things that could be applied immediately...

First off, you come from an Indian background and are reflecting back on a predominately "white" cultural tradition. This is fantastic, and is an incredible source of material. Perhaps too much material for one sketch... think book or movie for the amount of potential that's there.

Considering your actual sketch - 1.) TOO MUCH happens. If you want to speak in 'practical' terms, no sketch show, TV or stage, is going to want to build the number of sets and locations that you ask for. Think 1 sketch = 1 location. SNL, the most successful and largest budgeted sketch show out there usually only uses 1 location per sketch. Perhaps 2, MAYBE three for something really special.

Along the same line, choose one bit/joke/moment/game/whatever-term you use to become the central focus of the sketch. Is this sketch about you and your brother? About you and fat guy? Pick ONE thing and expand it, don't add more stuff. You have a dozen moments in that sketch that could, with some work, each become their own sketch. Don't make yourself work harder by constantly inventing more ideas, just work with one or two.

So, in summary, cut your work down. Focus it, pick one thing and work on that. I saw a comment where someone called this a "sitcom pilot." It's not, you have way too much here for even a sitcom pilot... this looks like the start to a film treatise.

Don't feel bad, either. Take a minute and read some of the other scripts that have been put up on this site... Not for ideas, but for simple things like format, length, number of characters, number of locations, how often is "direction" inserted, etc.

Good luck.
s

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Replies:

They're not hissing, they're chanting Sssssssss -- JP, 18:59:44 02/15/04 Sun
- Re: They're not hissing, they're chanting Sssssssss -- s, 10:55:30 02/19/04 Thu
  - My mistake -- JP, 20:54:14 02/23/04 Mon
    - Re: My mistake -- the real s, not the imposter, 21:08:17 02/23/04 Mon
      - Heh, I'd be dissapointed if this wasn't so confusing -- JP, 22:22:49 02/23/04 Mon
    - How I can tell this is fake -- CCS, 21:39:54 02/23/04 Mon
      - you forgot the puppies (NT) -- you always add the puppies, CCS, 02:12:16 02/25/04 Wed
        I'm not in the room though (NT) -- Invisible CCS, 08:54:15 02/25/04 Wed