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Date Posted: 13:20:16 02/20/04 Fri
Author: Me
Subject: Re: Suggestions to take your writing to a higher level
In reply to: Matteo 's message, "Suggestions to take your writing to a higher level" on 12:58:36 02/20/04 Fri

When I was reviewing the Mullally show, of which I never finished or submitted, I came up with what I thought was a very good suggestion. It was during JPIII's sketch about the memoirs of a former graduate student and his whacky proffeseur, did I come across something that I see often and do not think is good. From the sketch;

Dr. Rourke: NEVER SEND A BOY TO DO A MAN’S JOB!!! (he then snatches the shovel away from the student and hits him with it)

What I don't like is the description of the action. I feel it's bland and does not paint a good picture, or show any comedy (the action IS supposed to be comedic, right?). I believe good descriptions have the ability to elevate good sketches to great; yet it is often ignored. Physical humour is a neglected aspect of comedy here, and even on SNL. I hate how they have such obviously fake hitting. It has gotten so boring to me.

My writing philosophy is to try to explain, as close to possible, what I am envisioning for my sketch. It's a way to accurately share your idea, which is my goal. I want people to see it as I see it.

Look at it again;

Dr. Rourke: NEVER SEND A BOY TO DO A MAN’S JOB!!! (he then snatches the shovel away from the student and hits him with it)

Where did he hit him? In the leg? The arm? The head? Did he do it lightly? Or did he really smack him with it?

I would suggest writing a description for this action something like this;

(He SWINGS the shovel HIGH over top his head and brings it down squarely on top of the graduate students head, who drops immediately, writhering on the ground in spasm.)

Now, this takes more work, but it's worth it. You might find this to be to much work at first, so you might want to simply try to do a little more accurate describing with the most important physical aspects of your sketch to begin with. And don't forget to try to make it funny!

I feel some of you do a great job with dialogue and jokes, but could make your skethes that much better with good desriptions that not only create a good picture in the readers head, but are also just as funny as good jokes.

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