Crud�s Cyber Cafe by Prateek Srivastava -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 01:10:48 05/23/06 Tue
Author: Matteo
Subject: Crud�s Cyber Cafe by Prateek Srivastava
In reply to: Patrick Lonergan 's message, "REVIEWS: Kevin Spacey 05/20/06" on 17:45:07 05/20/06 Sat

I once wrote a sketch that had a similarity to this one (No, I never sent it here); both were in a food establishment (fastfood) and both had many characters, and the action kept switching from one set of characters to another. It's a complicated way to do a sketch, and it might come across that there is not a main theme or idea, but I like the challenge of doing one of these sketches. You either bomb or you make it. This was an excellent sketch!

I actually had the characters memorized - who played who - It was that interesting.

There was tons of comedic drama, such as Doug meeting an old girlfriend and her new guy.

The sign continously getting knocked over would be hilarius.

Crud was great - way to define a character! His conversations to himself are funny and interesting. And the way he dealt with customer #1 was so funny. Was he supposed to be rascist or something?

Awesome descriptions to make it easy to focus on whats going on in this complicated sketch.

There were just so many subtly funny lines throughout, such as;
-no one goes for the half off deal. Maybe you should make it buy one get one free. (not haha but I have heard this debated in real life that get one free works better than half off)
-You weren't even talking on the phone! You were just trying to look important! AHAHA! (Nate runs off) (It was really funny and clever that he'd go up to a stranger, who happens to be a character who is very self-conscious about always being seen alone, and say that. The only problem is we don't know that Doug is like that yet.)
-Doug(talks to himself) I hate coming to public places alone. It's always table for one, Ceaser salad for 1, single table, single life, single casket.
-Hey I know easels are fun to tackle but-
-Who the hell wants to read this. I'm just gonna get a job at my uncles Casino and then one day I'll own it. I don't need to read this. There's no pictures or anything.

-Man this thing makes a great crotch shield. Try punching me down there!
-Wow! Violent people always keep to themselves. (This works because it's a real jab at the low self-esteem Doug. Way to think in a sketch!)
-What�s going on? You hurting her? (just funny that he says that - real life experience I've had- guys can be so overly protective)
-You charge weird prices and you smell like Lattes. (Good response to Cruds opening line, but "you" should have been emphasized. It shows she's got some spunk, ei quickly puts a personality to her.)
-I like how Mendel freaks when he's making the computers crash - another well defined character - and so was Nate.
-I like how Crud just blankly watches the catastrophic events unfold - it's in his character; he expects things to go bad, then is solemn when they do. More great work on actions being congruent with character)
-Doug; Today is Friday not reality check day! Argh! (He starts punching the air like crazy. Mike grabs Jan they back away. Dan walks by suddenly and Doug punches him and flies into the easel display and knocks it over.) (Great line followed by a great sequence. Why does he start punching the air like crazy? He's totally upset - great way to show it. And Dan accidentally getting punched and the sign going down a third time is really, really good)
I can't name everything, but there was even more funny stuff.

How the hell did you go from having absolutely nothing funny in your first piece to having almost everything work in your second??? I really loved this sketch. There was a theme - how unlucky the place is - and the ending played to that theme beautifully. The characters were so quickly defined and their actions were in line with their personality's. This was a masterpiece on characters, how they should react, and theme. Not to mention funny. Very well thought out. One of the best sketches I ever read. Would work great on SNL. 8.5 out of 10.

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Yeah each of my sketches is different in their own way. -- Prateek S., 12:56:17 05/23/06 Tue