hugh laurie's monologue -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 13:54:28 10/28/06 Sat
Author: jennings
Subject: hugh laurie's monologue
In reply to: jennings 's message, "hugh laurie sketches" on 13:12:12 10/28/06 Sat

�Hugh Laurie�s Monologue�
Written by Mark Jennings Reese II

...Don Pardo (voice only)
...Hugh Laurie
...Amy Poehler

Details: Hugh explains his drag queen like Halloween costume

(Fade in)

Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen, Hugh Laurie!

(Hugh enters from the backdoor of home base, Hugh wears a dress)

Hugh Laurie: Thank you! Thank you! It is truly an honor to be hosting the show! New York City! Thank you! My name is Hugh Laurie! And I�m just tickled pink to be here hosting �Saturday Night Live�! This show is just smashing! For those you in the audience out there, the Yankees out there who don�t know who I am, I am a British actor, although I use a stereotypical American accent when I act on my wonderful Fox show �House M.D�, where I play �Dr. House�. Thank you. Cheers! The show has really caught on here in the states and I�d like to thank all those wonderful folks out there for watching the show and making it such a smash hit.

(Amy comes up on stage to confront Hugh about his wardrobe)

Cheerio!

Amy Poehler: Ah, Hugh.

Hugh Laurie: Amy, ladies and gentlemen! Amy Poehler, one of the terrific players in this company!

Amy Poehler: Yeah, they know who I am. Hugh, can I ask you something?

Hugh Laurie: Sure. I�m here to help you.

Amy Poehler: Why are you wearing a dress?

Hugh Laurie: Oh, this old thing? Amy, this is my comedy dress. Haven�t you ever watched �Monty Python�?

Amy Poehler: I have. I get it.

Hugh Laurie: Folks, this is British humour! The cheeky fun of this is I�m a man wearing a woman�s dress. The folks across the pond are laughing their respective bottoms off, right now.

Amy Poehler: Hugh, I get it, but why? I guess the humor is going over my head.

Hugh Laurie: Amy is of course saying �humor�, not like my �humour� spelled with �O-U-R�. Amy, this is British humour. Quiet humour.

Amy Poehler: Right. Right.

Hugh Laurie: Amy, remember your soccer, my football; my soccer, your football. Understand?

Amy Poehler: Yeah, Hugh, I get it. I thought you were wearing that because Tuesday is Halloween.

Hugh Laurie: Hall-o-what now?

Amy Poehler: Yes. Halloween. When little children dress up in scary costumes and go door-to-door scaring people if they don�t give them candy.

Hugh Laurie: That sounds like a wonderful holiday for children. What do the adults do?

Amy Poehler: Nothing really. It�s more of a children�s holiday. But for the adults, it�s just another excuse to get drunk and have unprotected sex with a stranger!

Hugh Laurie: OH SMASHING! Folks, we have a great show for you tonight! Beck is here! He�s an American lad with an English name and he�s got songs to sing and moves to groove. I�m Hugh Laurie and we�ll be right back!

(Amy hugs Hugh)

(Fade out)

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Replies:

Good monologue, Mark. -- Jim Bevan, 14:42:49 10/28/06 Sat