V for Review (Well, there's a V in the word "review") -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 08:51:53 03/05/06 Sun
Author: Jim Bevan
Subject: V for Review (Well, there's a V in the word "review")
In reply to: Jason 's message, "Don't fret, Patrick! I believe we'll have a huge number of submissions for the Matt Dillon episode." on 22:09:24 03/04/06 Sat

Before we begin, as always, I want to apologize for not submitting a sketch. School kind of drained me in the last few weeks, and I couldn't get my haunted house piece finished in time. Don't worry though - I'm on spring break and I should have plenty of time to get it ready for the Matt Dillon episode. On a side note, I think we all owe Jason and Mark a big round of applause for filling out this episode. Thanks guys.

Now that that's over with, on to reviewing the show hosted by the (formerly) bald and beautiful Natalie Portman, who I believe is the first Israeli citizen to ever host. Lucky for her there weren't any Palestinians in the audience, huh, am I right people?... Moving on...

A Message from Randy Cunningham: Well, the whole "Duke" Cunningham scandal broke a few months ago, so this it a bit of a dated piece. The dialogue seemed kind of stilted too, but that's just my perspective. Still, it did have some good moments, such as Cunningham's bitterness that unlike his colleagues he got caught, as well as the bit about irony and knocking down a nursing home. All in all, a so-so piece.

Monologue: A slew of celebrity-specific jokes that I've heard before. Sorry, but it seems there was a lot of wasted potential here. Instead of celebrity slams, there could have been some better stuff from Natalie. You mentioned she's going to appear in a film about the life of Francisco Goya. Perhaps you could have had her give a weird theory about why she believes Goya painted such horrifying works. But that's just my opinion.

Chopsticks: Good stuff. A simple premise, but carried out very well. The visual of seeing someone try to get toilet paper with chopstics was incredible. I also liked the idea of spin-off restaurants. It really spoke to me, especially since I recently ate out at "Sporks" and had a hell of a time cuting that tenderloin. This definitely should have been acted out rather than just read.

The Supreme Being Made Me Do It: This was a killer piece. The concept was wonderfully absurd, the banter between the characters excellent, and the capper at the end was a clever reference to current events. I really loved the "Sin E. Matographer" line and watching the studio execs try to work through their problem ("Can God sue us?") Excellent work.

Holly the Hooker and her Johns: A so-so piece. There were a couple of good lines, I especially liked the comment about the dog licking a guy's balls and the "miniature high school" line the best. Some of it just seemed wrong though. The "I'll go down on you" and "give you a handjob" bits were crude and forced. And Rocco's slapping Tracy, that's wrong on so many levels.

Natalie Portman Meets Wyatt: I'm sorry, I just couldn't enjoy this. Maybe it's because I've seen too many sketches where a psycho fan or stalker annoys the host backstage.

Ode to White Trash, USA: A song full of cliched white-trash stereotypes. Forgive me for repeating myself, but, moving on...

Desperately Impressing Susan: Oh this was wonderful. A sketch where a guy is awkwardly hitting on a girl can easily be made or broken depending on the dialogue and the execution. And this was executed magnificently. The ways Andrew inadvertendly insulted her ("You were a zoo animal?"), Susan's laughing at everything inappropriate, the acronyms, the "date" they'll be having, it was great.

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