Re: Inauguration sketch -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 19:46:05 01/20/05 Thu
Author: WD
Subject: Re: Inauguration sketch
In reply to: Will Ditzen 's message, "Inauguration sketch" on 19:43:59 01/20/05 Thu

Bush Inauguration
True origin of Bush speech is revealed

speech writer... Paul Giamatti
George W Bush...Will Forte
Karl Rove...Darrell Hammond

[footage of Inauguration ceremony. Cut to Forte as Bush standing at the podium.]

Bush: When four years ago I took over the leadership of the nation one of our so-called 'statesmen' of that day said: 'Now this man has taken the decisive step. Up to now he has been popular, because he has been in opposition. Now he must govern and we shall see in six or eight weeks how his popularity will look'! Four years - not six weeks only - have passed and I believe that they have been the most decisive years for American history. The most characteristic feature of this period is the close unity of the American people. What I have achieved in these four years was possible only because I had standing behind me the whole American people. The problems which faced us no single man could solve unaided: only when he could speak and, if necessary, also act in the name of the whole American people could he master these questions.

During the last few months and weeks I have had in my foreign policy a great helper and previously, in my last speech in this hall, I expressed my thanks to the man who took his stand in support of America as a true, great friend, Tony Blair. He has thrown into the scale of a just solution the entire force not only of his own genius but of the power which stands behind him. I must also thank the two other great statesmen who at the last minute recognized the historical hour, declared themselves ready to give their support to the solution of one of the world�s most burning problems and who thereby made it possible for me, too, to offer the hand towards an understanding. But above all my thanks fly to the American people which in these long months has never deserted me. I am proud of my American people! I hope that in a few days the problem of the Iraqis will be finally solved. By January 30 we shall have held elections in Iraq. Thus one of the world�s most serious crises will be ended, and all of us, not only in America but those far beyond our frontiers, will then in this year for the first time really rejoice at the Christmas festival. It should for us all be a true Festival of Peace.

Above us all stands the motto: 'no one in the world will help us if we do not help ourselves.' This program of self-help is a proud and manly program. It is a different program from that of my predecessors who continually ran round through the world, going a-begging now at the UN or at some conference or other elsewhere. It is a prouder thing that today we American are determined to solve our own problems and to help ourselves.

We have been witnesses of a great turning-point in history. At this moment we must bethink ourselves, too, of those who through twenty years in an apparently hopeless state still nursed a fanatical faith in America and never surrendered their *Americanism*-their life as Americans. It is so easy here in the heart of the Empire to profess one's belief in Americans. But it is...

[cut to Karl Rove standing by the speech writer]

Rove: There�s something odd about this speech that I can�t quite put my finger on.

Speech writer: Well I may have borrowed a little from past speeches.

[cut back to Bush]

Bush: First - I have often known the jubilation and the enthusiasm of joy, but here for the first time I have seen hundreds of thousands shedding tears of joy. And secondly I saw appalling distress. When a Michael Moore or Sean Penn say that injustice has been done to the Iraqis, then these men should just for once see what in reality has happened there. How can one so pervert the truth! I have seen here whole villages undernourished, whole towns reduced to ruin. My fellow-countrymen, you have a great debt of honor to pay!. I expect of you that the Winter Help Contribution of 2005 shall correspond with the historical greatness of this year.

[Cut to Rove and Speech writer]

Rove: What the hell!? You �borrowed� from Hitler!

Speech writer: Well look I must admit I was a little under the weather last night. I wasn�t thinking straight.

Rove: Oh god. How the hell am I going to spin this?

Speech writer: Look I did a good job changing words around. No one will know.

[cut to Bush]

Bush: In the history of our people the year 1938 will be a great, incomparable, proud year. Later historians will show that the German nation found its way back again to the position of an honorable great nation - that our history has once more become a worthy history. . .

[Cut to Rove and Speech writer]

Speech writer: I guess I should�ve proofread.

Rove: Well don�t worry about it. The stories from Iraq are greatly exaggerated.

Speech writer: You mean...

Rove: That�s right. Thanks for volunteering.

[cut to Bush]

Bush: Leben Sie von New York, es ist Samstag Nacht!

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Replies:

Looks like a strike-out to me. (NT) -- .,, 20:13:27 01/20/05 Thu
- I like it -- Dignard, 09:27:09 01/21/05 Fri
  - Re: I like it -- Patrick, 10:09:13 01/21/05 Fri
    - Whoops -- Dignard, 13:24:32 01/21/05 Fri
      - Re: Whoops -- Jeremy Barr, 00:05:08 01/22/05 Sat