Off With a Bang -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 16:53:01 06/02/04 Wed
Author: RG Stockton
Subject: Off With a Bang
In reply to: RG Stockton 's message, "Cold Opening Sketch" on 16:51:56 06/02/04 Wed

It's my first skit, so bear with me.

...Jimmy Fallon (guest)
...Lorne Micheals
...Finesse Mitchell
...Uma Thurman
Mexican...Fred Armison

(we open up to see Jimmy and Lorne walking down a hallway. both seem pretty happy)

Jimmy: Wow, I still can't believe this. I mean, *ME* of all people, hosting the first mock episode of the season.

Lorne: Yeah, it's quite impressive.

Jimmy: Man, I thought you'd get a big atar, or someone from the summer movies. I mean, I haven't been gone for very long.

Lorne: Yes, that's nice. Anyway, I thought we'd follow tradition and kick this year off with a bang.

(Lorne & Jimmy approach a tarp-covered object)

Lorne: And quite literally.

(Lorne removes the tarp to reveal a large cannon. Jimmy shows a little worry)

Jimmy: (sounding a little shaky) You're gonna fire me out of a cannon? (in sudden excitment) Let's do this!

Lorne: Great! Now, put on this jumpsuit and helmet and get in there!

(Jimmy makes no hesitation and grabs the helmet and jumpsuit. Finesse walks on by and spots the cannon)

Finesse: Hey, Lorne, what's with the cannon?

Lorne: Oh, simple. ...(whispers in Finesse's ear)

(Finesse crack up in laughter)

Finesse: Aw man, that's gonna be awesome! I gotta see this!

(Jimmy comes back in a white jumpsuit with some sparkling blue and a helmet to match with a goofy smile on his face. Finesse sees him

and giggles at how funny it looks on him)

Jimmy: OK, let's do this.

(Jimmy readies himself in the cannon. After Jimmy got in, Uma walks by)

Uma: Hey, Lorne. (notices the cannon) What's with the cannon?

Lorne: Well... (whispers in Uma's ear)

(Uma gives a small giggle. shortly, Jimmy's head pops out of the cannon's mouth)

Jimmy: OK, Lorne, fire when... (notices Uma) Hey, Lorne, why's she here?

Lorne: Oh, that's Uma Thurman. She's going to be hosting.

Jimmy: But, I thought...

Lorne: Jimmy, we only told you you would hos just so we can fire you out of this cannon. We were never meant to do this for

entertainment, we just don't like you.

Finesse: Aw man, oh totally fell for it!

Lorne: Uma, would you do the honors? (hands Uma the cannon's rip cord)

Uma: With pleasure. (grabs the cord) Any last word's, Jimmy-boy?

Jimmy: Yeah. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S...

(the cannon is fired and sends a Jimmy dummy into the air. Lorne, Finesse, and Uma laugh til it hurts)

(pan to a Mexican scene with the super, "MEANWHILE, IN MEXICO CITY...", where a mexican man is playing a guitar. a different Jimmy

dummy falls onto the scene. afterwords, Jimmy gets up looking weary)

Mexican: (noticing Jimmy) Hola, vato! Como estas?

(pan back to studio 8-H, where Lorne, Finesse, and Uma are still laughing)

Finesse: Man, that was hilarious!

Lorne: That's the last we'll see of him!

Uma: So, what know?

Lorne: I know. Finesse, get me Horatio!

Finesse: Yes, my league! (darts off)

Uma: But first thing's first. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

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Replies:

Off With a Bang... More of a Whimper -- Jim Bevan, 19:41:47 06/02/04 Wed
- Re: Off With a Bang... More of a Whimper -- RG Stockton, 21:05:34 06/02/04 Wed
- Re: Off With a Bang... More of a Whimper -- nobody, 15:25:19 06/03/04 Thu