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Date Posted: 08:59:01 04/23/04 Fri
Author: Jim Bevan
Subject: Ideas for WU Jokes

Please see these and let me know what you think, and where I can make improvements:

Jimmy Fallon: The adult film industry is still reeling after it was revealed that two performers tested positive for the HIV virus. Kat Sunlove, a spokeswoman for the pornographic trade industry the Free Speech Coalition commented on the uproar, stating, "It's incredible, I mean, if you can be exposed to a deadly disease having unprotected sex with strange men and women dozens of times a week, then where can you feel safe?"

Tina Fey: In an effort to curb a rise of STDs in the industry, the California branch of OSHA is attempting to adopt a plan to enusre proper condom use in all adult films. This has led to tragedy, however, when six young film stars, inexperienced with condom use and told to place theirs "where the man's penis penetrates," choked to death on their contraceptives.

Jimmy Fallon (incredulous): You know, Tina, this whole porn scare just shows me how strange the world is becoming. I mean, look at it: porn actors are now concerned about sexual diseases, Donald Trump's casinos are going broke, what's next? Will Switzerland decide to start a war? Will WMDs be found in Iraq? Is "The Punisher" going to break box-office records?! I just want a return to normality. (praying) Please God, make things right with the world.

Tina Fey: Despite John Kerry's marriage to Theresa Heinz, heiress to the Heinz Ketchup empire, members of the Heinz executive board are not contributing to the Kerry campaign, but instead to the Bush campaign and the GOP. This shocking development shows the importance of standing by your personal beliefs and policies in the workplace; it's a surefire way to get thrown out on your ass.

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