VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 10:26:55 05/19/16 Thu
Author: Casseopia
Subject: Re: Sexual abuse as a young boy and TGT
In reply to: Susan 's message, "Re: Sexual abuse as a young boy and TGT" on 06:01:26 05/19/16 Thu

Hi Susan,

Thank you for replying.

Honestly I am NOT trying to heal him. I have done my part in helping him to get on a healing path. I left his recovery in the hands of his therapy team quite a while ago.

Seriously - I did say in my original post that this was not a post about whether I should stay with him. I'm fully aware of all of the damage he has done and it is not a pretty bombsite that I am looking at here. I am taking positive steps towards setting myself up in a new life, just for me.

Contrary to what you've said, it DOES matter to me whether he's gay or whether sexually acting out past trauma is a real thing. That was my original question and the whole point of my post. And it matters for two reasons: the first, is my own curiosity and sense of closure. I'd just like to close this door with as much knowledge as I can find. I can't just slam it shut without knowing as much as I can know. I do get that he may be gay and in denial and I may have to close this door just knowing that I don't know. I will know when it is time for me to close this door and leave it behind.

The second reason - lots of people come here with this question... "but is he really gay?" I've read a lot of posts here and almost without exception, everyone yells: RUN! HE/SHE'S GAY! It's frustrating that there doesn't seem to be room for discussion on this point.

Surely there is some grey area?! If sexual acting-out for trauma re-enactment purposes isn't and has never been a thing, why is there so much material devoted to it? Are they all wrong?

I am not saying this is or isn't what's happening to my husband. I don't know in all honesty. And even if it turns out to be the case - way too much damage has been done for me to be able to consider going back to him.

I am really just trying to open a channel for discussion about a part of this subject that gets bought up often and discussed rarely here.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-4
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.