Glad I didn't go the ring route bro -- Black Lodge Saloon

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Date Posted: 21:39:41 01/03/05 Mon
Author: BFIH
Subject: Glad I didn't go the ring route bro
In reply to: coyotyl 's message, "you had to work NY's eve?" on 20:49:29 01/03/05 Mon

Though my Xmas gifts went over with her like a lead balloon, but there were other things in play here....

After getting her home Saturday night, doing some talking and singing and listening to some tunes we're both pretty tired and so I'm getting ready to leave... Then - she hits me with the idea she doesn't want to get married again -- EVER.

This was a bit of news to me cause we'd bandied the idea of actually getting engaged if we were still together after a year and a half or so and getting married in roughly 2 years duration.

So anyway after listening to her talk for awhile on her change of feelings on that matter - I ask her to use her bathroom so I can listen to my gut for a minute.

My intuition told me she wasn't telling me everything so I came back and really explored some more and got to the key question... "Do you still love me?" and the answer was "no" at which point there was no argument to be made for staying together.

I guess I should insert here that with my last truly great love before her, I never had the courage to ask why when she told me she didn't want to get married and I tortured myself with questions about it for many years. This time I figured I'd at least try to learn and grow from the experience even if it hurt to hear.

Anyway, after hearing my latest love had fallen out of love with me a couple of months ago (a fact which I rather suspected deep in my gut from certain things she said and did without consciously being able to process the information and logically tell you why) I managed to retain my dignity and composure long enough to get a few things and leave.

It wasn't so bad when I first got home though I did stay up rather late on the internet thinking, etc.

Next day was much worse - it got to be late in the evening and well I did have a couple of things I needed to get from her house yet. I called and asked her if I could come get my stuff and she was rather distant but polite and said yes.

We had a pleasant enough parting of the ways with her after a bit more talk and I told her that I knew she was a proud woman, but if she ever changed her mind she knew my number and I wouldn't give her a hard time if she called whatever my situation was. Then I gave her a last kiss and wished her a good life and left.

I didn't break down in tears till I was out of sight of her house. After a bit of sobbing in the privacy of my own car on a country road I felt a little better. After I got home I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't keep my mind from drifting to things better left unthought.

So I took a long late night walk which got the attention of a local local cop but I just told him what was going on and where I lived and all that and he was cool and left me to my misery in peace.

I feel a little better today - I imagine it won't hit me as hard till Wednesday when we normally have our midweek lunch date and she isn't there.

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Replies:

Rx for lightening your mood ... -- Dr Phil, 23:17:24 01/03/05 Mon
- Phhhbbblllllttttttssssssssssssssss! -- BFIH, 01:34:27 01/04/05 Tue
  - dope on the dope ... -- wizard-vizier, 02:06:52 01/04/05 Tue
    - p.s. Don't forget the B-complex too -- Ed., 02:17:40 01/04/05 Tue
  - ugh.... Dammit C.... -- ndwaldo, 20:20:25 01/04/05 Tue
    - PS..... -- ndwaldo, 20:24:19 01/04/05 Tue
      - I love Labs -- BFIH, 22:03:37 01/04/05 Tue
      - see below -- bfny, 06:06:00 01/05/05 Wed
    - rolodex, schmolodex ... shit man, don't let me stop you ... -- C, 20:45:47 01/04/05 Tue
      - You asked for it, you got it, c.... -- Waldo, 00:06:33 01/05/05 Wed
my cat may be dying... -- bfny, 06:19:38 01/04/05 Tue
- how bizarre -- suzi_q, 08:14:02 01/04/05 Tue
  - The Skid is no more -- bfny, 11:22:10 01/04/05 Tue
    - I'm so sorry.. -- suzi_q, 13:01:23 01/04/05 Tue
      - the cat's on the roof... -- bfny, 13:18:44 01/04/05 Tue
        see what I mean? -- suzi_q, 14:42:17 01/04/05 Tue
        After the grieving... -- BFIH, 17:25:43 01/04/05 Tue
        the question has been posed -- bfny, 06:03:14 01/05/05 Wed
        I had a parakeet when I was young -- BFIH, 23:19:38 01/05/05 Wed
        The BIGGEST parakeets in town! -- Lawshark, 08:37:25 01/06/05 Thu
  - bryan!! -- chamberlain, 14:06:10 01/04/05 Tue
    - yep, Bryan -- suzi_q, 14:50:42 01/04/05 Tue
      - the odd coicindence gets more odd -- chamberlain, 17:33:04 01/04/05 Tue
        my cat is also black ... -- coyotyl, 18:03:40 01/04/05 Tue
        just when you think you're going to drown -- suzi_q, 18:22:27 01/04/05 Tue
        it was them damned precious kids again ... -- coyotyl, 19:51:00 01/04/05 Tue
        Jesus, that was more like ... -- coyot, 20:15:22 01/04/05 Tue
        one more thing ... -- coyot, 20:19:32 01/04/05 Tue
        you guessed it - The Skid was black too -- bfny, 15:21:03 01/05/05 Wed
- Sorry to hear about your cat -- BFIH, 17:21:59 01/04/05 Tue
I'm really sorry to hear about that -- Lawshark, 06:23:36 01/04/05 Tue
- It's got to be better than tsunami at least -- BFIH, 17:32:46 01/04/05 Tue
fucking bitch -- suzi_q, 07:59:42 01/04/05 Tue
- I appreciate your loyalty m'Queen -- BFIH, 17:31:25 01/04/05 Tue
  - sorry -- suzi_q, 18:31:13 01/04/05 Tue
    - Love ya Queen -- BFIH, 22:06:47 01/04/05 Tue

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