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Date Posted: 17:31:51 07/21/02 Sun
Author: Teresa marie
Subject: I need a huge truck load of YOU CAN DO IT... because I just dont know anymore

First of all I know I'm not going to say anything that you guys haven't said already and felt... and I am so happy for you all for the mini goals that you've met and BIG GOALS!! Its taken me 7 years to finally love me as I am and put the belittling of yesterdays from my ex...... back in his lap where they belong due to his lack of compassion and his self centeredness. Its funny how when I was small 10 years ago I had a mental image of being "fat" and finally after seeing myself through the eyes of others.... I am able to picture myself as a "thin" person again because I know that is a tool to success but reality tells me that I'm not thin and I need help now with my encouragement. My head tells me that I want to be loved just as I am right now and then I'll know its REAL love.....but that strategy doesn't help me to loose the weight. And I need to do this for me. I'm so tired of hearing, "You have such a beautiful smile and face", if onlyyyyyyyyy. I just need to do it like I do with my career and everything else in my life but ...... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! And I really have no support system where I live. I live in my home town again and everyone see's me as the Teresa that "Use to be built so good". I'm going to humble myself and pray that God blesses me with words of wisdom and encouragements and friendships,from you guys so that I can be there for you and so that I can, with your help, put this "visible hurt" away.
Thank you for being gifts of kindness and love and have the ability to see beyond and inside others :)

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