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Wed July 02, 2025 18:14:20 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, [5], 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

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Date Posted: 11:09:09 02/26/03 Wed
Author: Pathologist "The Catalyst of ELOHEIM!"
Author Host/IP: ppp-67-37-66-168.dialup.sfldmi.ameritech.net / 67.37.66.168
Subject: Where is it that I can go to find peace? I need to release these feelings of grief, Jehovah please hold your Witness, until the suns burn out. Give me guidence when I'm in the mist of the drought, show me your love.. remove the fear from my heart, LOVE AS I LOVE YOU AND NEVER LEAVE ME STRANDED IN THE DARK!

“God loves me so much I can feel it, but Satan hates me more then God loves me.
He is responsible for all my shortcomings my tribulations my inner hate my depression.
He sends me these wicked women these whores these tramps these traps.
Jehovah is all-powerful I know this I meditate on this and try to find hope in the realization. Yet Look at Satan he has so much pull over me it’s hard for me to guide my own steps. I’m never me I’m always him, this demon with a humans heart.
He throws snares at every step laughing at my falls and slips.”

The worlds against me- Satan’s against me, everything has changed in the blink of an eye the spies still watch and stand by judging my alibis with their emotionless pride
Suicide contempt, contemplated in relentlessness standing over bridges with one footstep
Left, Path’s been humble but Raishawns been fumbled walking strange hearing death mumble things about how they’ll never change, my strain exist ageless- I was born
Sick demented with visions of the apocalypse nightly visits by demonic images stalking
My existence-

“I hate being this way
Why was I chosen to know the truth? I would have been better off knowing nothing at all.
Yes Jehovah I’m grateful for knowing you but in turn look who comes along with
Knowing you. I can’t cope with this battle that has little to do with us, why not stand
As the god you are and trample your creation instead of having him reign over us?
I know your helping me and guiding me through all the turbulence I face in my life,
But as soon as the lights present the darkness pulls me back. It’s always been 1 step
Forward then 10 steps back, why do I live if I only feel regret and pain in my heart!”


Weary I talk to others about the turmoil I set and gain, fencing with decisions intentions of cruel fangs biting down on my veins- thoughts of the only seed
Planted and how he left as quick as he came, I can’t blame self since self is still in stealth
Mode illuminating thresholds of resistance, speech IS forbidden alludes, cold winded
Morns and frost bitten noon’s construed as reality to light-men Hu- to Eloheims right
Hand, I stand frail as cocker spaniels an alchemist to the tangles set-forth henceforth
I’m trapped badly wounded tomb ridden a killer with a child’s profound truth now
Haunting- lingering like smoke from Black and Milds- proof taught, struggles of the lost
It hurts to talk out, yet my feelings leap out in conduction conjunctions of Godly beliefs
Function as a defense mechanism bearing fruits that speak meek teaching to turn the other cheek yet I practice sin underneath this perfection bloody dreams in reconnaissance’s recollection, collections condemned boarded up by principles-

“I’ve missed my death, know I have to move forward, just watch over me so my decision was not in vein, show me that I do indeed have a happy ending to look forward to.”

Don’t get lost- to loose direction is pitiful especially when you were once agile
With planted paths learning from the tribe of Cabañas clothing and noxious wrath
Toxic to entrails showers of hate mail in mental interiors vexed in spells of understanding
Confusion in trails- hallucinogenic caps in cerebral displays over-laps the pale and slim
Chances of the dim light depleting off into historic memoirs, angelic to departs- alas the
Hearts marked in death and ridicule that lengthens the depressive physical that is my dead
Carcass miniscule as air particles cycling around each molecule spirited from each individual seeing as I see, darkness in humanity righteously trod panes to plans over
Dead on aim targeted by the offset, pathogens I surface from pain, betwixt I sit under moon lit passages asking god to pacify my awareness set from over-statements alleviated
From my patience virtuous due to being a patient in this make-shift of decadence diligence misplaced at times, over the blind I cast sight bitches to lead- the women’s been what’s cost the flock to mislead- without being at fault yet it’s still possible to see!

“Please God if you still hold me in high regards please hold me, and lift me up!”

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