<font color=red>Just a Lil Somethin New!!<font color=330099>....and song i'm workin on...gonna call it <font color=white>"Wasting Time"<font color=330099>...this is just the first verse.....wanted some feedback on it......Enjoy!!! -- The Lounge Of Lyricism 2003

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Date Posted: 05:28:42 02/09/03 Sun
Author: J£:The®ealist of Κa†a¢lÿzm
Author Host/IP: 98-pool1.ras10.tnnas.alerondial.net / 206.148.180.98
Subject: Just a Lil Somethin New!!....and song i'm workin on...gonna call it "Wasting Time"...this is just the first verse.....wanted some feedback on it......Enjoy!!!

this should have a smooth, melodic feel to it.....

if time is of the essence, then why am i in the presence//
of a generation of hatred, wit NO, patience just wastin their seconds//
their minutes, their hours, their days, their life//
watchin the clocks advance, they just waste away time//
and they can't make up their mind, to try try, and strive to be//
bringin some sorta meanin to these lives they lead//
it's a...sight to see, so much slighted talent//
it makes my eyes, wanna cry, as i write this ballad//
my heart hurts, as my mind is balanced, on the way, that's these kids behave//
these days, it's a...might strange, and at the same time a slight pain//
seein our childs claimed, by the smiles of fame that beguile their aims//
and i sit by and gaze, as flames, consume their dreams//
devourin motivation til they soon believe//
that the skies aren't reached, you await their arrival//
for the circumstances of your life, fate's the only one liable//
it's a damn shame...they wastin time, tryin to wait for life so they place themselves in idle//

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Replies:

i dig da verse yo...props give'ith...word -- jay, 06:51:35 02/09/03 Sun
hmm...the flow was okay, i guess melodic in parts...didnt really feel the content much (NT) -- Vis, 13:52:03 02/09/03 Sun
Felt all the way thru, real deep and understandable, I liked it, keep on (NT) -- G R O T E S Q U E, 14:20:15 02/09/03 Sun
very dope man, I was feeling the abstractions of the flow.. real nice kid, ONE! (NT) -- Pathologist "The Catalyst of ELOHEIM!", 17:08:35 02/09/03 Sun

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