"Eeewww," KM says, looking at what Stardoe has with her -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 07:38:09 12/06/01 Thu
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: "Eeewww," KM says, looking at what Stardoe has with her

"THIS is your cure for our hormonal surges?" KM snorts in disbelief as Stardoe places a tofu turkey on a platter in front of the two hormonally-challanged Shippervillians.

"I'm not eating that," KS sniffs, crossing her arms and looking belligerant.

Stardoe puts on her half-glasses which make her look like she knows exactly what she's talking about. "Soy has been proven to help with hot flashes and other symptoms of hormonal changes," she announces primly. She grabs KM by the scruff of her neck and forces her into a chair and then puts a fork in her fist. "Eat!"

KS pours a glass of ice water over her head. "Ya know, these hot flashes really aren't a problem for me," she tells Stardoe hopefully.

KM grabs a loitering Shippervillian tourist, rams his head into the bar, and then fingers the bump that arises and kisses it tenderly, sending the man off with a fine for standing too close to her. "And these mood changes don't really seem to be bothering anyone, least of all myself," she announces, starting to rise from the table.

Stardoe pushes them both down and stands over them threateningly. "EAT!" she roars, then grabs Rabid and CW as they casually stroll behind Stardoe, attempting escape. "You two eat too. It can't hurt you."

Rabid curls her lip. "I won't and you can't make me."

"Eat what, dear?" CW questions Stardoe. "Why am I sitting at the table? Are we playing cards?" She whips out her chips and visor, prepared to play a rousing game of poker.

Stardoe sighs in exasperation. She needs a helper. Someone who can attest to the joys of tofu turkey. She needs...Kande! Where is she anyway?

"Anyone seen Kande?" she asks the group.

"Who?" asks CW, folding her cards and handing all her chips over to the tofu turkey.

"Over here," says a soft voice from the shadows.

"Kande, come over her RIGHT NOW and help me force feed...heh, heh, I mean, persuade these people to eat what is good for them," Stardoe demands.

"Oh, I think I should persuade them from afar," Kande replies, whipping out a newspaper and holding it in front of her shadowy figure.

"Hmm...this is suspicious," KM says, looking around at the group and then jerking her chin at Kande while looking at KS. The two get up and pounce on Kande. "AHA! Eeewwwww."

Both quickly remove their hands from Kande. Her entire body is covered in hard little lumps.

"Zits?" KM asks, looking questioningly at KS.

"Cysts," KS responds grimly. "And look, some of them have faces." The two peer closely at the face on Kande's knee.

"It's winking at me!" KM sits back on her haunches.

"That's Stuart. He's very friendly," Kande pats the knee cyst lovingly. She's gotten quite attached to the little guy.

Behind her, Stardoe is putting on a mask and latex gloves. "Those cysts must be removed," she tells Kande in a muffled voice. She palms a scalpel.

"Ooohhh! A scalpel! Let me help!" KS claps her hands together in glee.

"No! Get back! I can take care of this," Stardoe pushes KS aside and points the scalpel towards Stuart.

"No! Not Stuart! And what about anesthetic?" Kande whimpers and tries to escape.

"Ooohhh! Surgery with no anesthetic! Let me help!" KS claps her hands again.

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Replies:

Suddenly KM's eyes glaze over and she starts to mutter...... -- kenamom, 22 hours till final exam, 17:36:59 12/09/01 Sun
- Grabbing the mayor's 6 pound textbook, -- CW, 20:03:11 12/09/01 Sun
  - Oh all right! KS confesses -- Kande's Sis, 21:53:19 12/10/01 Mon
    - "Oh, puh-leez!" snorts kande. -- kande, 03:18:38 12/11/01 Tue
      - "They said they were . . . -- CW, 16:48:25 12/11/01 Tue
        How many fat grams is that? -- Kande's Sis asks fussily, 06:26:33 12/12/01 Wed
        DBTL plops done on the floor -- DBTL, back from the land of TOO MUCH TO DO1, 17:34:59 12/12/01 Wed
        While everybody is entranced with the big screen -- CW, 20:27:25 12/12/01 Wed
        I just want to go home! -- Kande's Sis, 06:50:23 12/13/01 Thu
        Suddenly KS's tattered sweater begins to move -- kenamom, 08:51:58 12/14/01 Fri
        "You know you two that . . . -- CW, 20:52:42 12/14/01 Fri
        Bubba is in the corner, desperately trying to contain his foot -- Kande's Sis, 08:55:43 12/15/01 Sat
        "Hey, could you people keep it down? I am trying to NOT watch the X-Files over here..." -- Rabid, who never makes resolutions as she is irresolute, 22:15:05 12/16/01 Sun
        Okay, Okay so the eppy is called "Darkness Falls"...my how quickly I forget! (NT) -- Rabid who hangs her head in shame at the gaff, 00:00:07 12/17/01 Mon
        "Who spilled all over the floor?" demands kande. -- kande, 03:18:57 12/18/01 Tue
        Kenamom smiles as she notes the green on her visor is a Christmas Green -- kenamom, getting in the spirit, 10:20:57 12/18/01 Tue
        "I love you guysh!" slurs Rabid. -- kande, 04:57:58 12/19/01 Wed
        KS starts the impromptu Xmas etiquette class -- Kande's Sis, 06:47:31 12/19/01 Wed
        "Merry Christmas! -- CW, 20:59:34 12/21/01 Fri