The Sneeze by: Patrick Lonergan -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 23:22:39 05/22/06 Mon
Author: Matteo
Subject: The Sneeze by: Patrick Lonergan
In reply to: Patrick Lonergan 's message, "REVIEWS: Kevin Spacey 05/20/06" on 17:45:07 05/20/06 Sat

Well Written, very good dialogue. I thought the bosses opening two sentences were quite good, and so was the opening description - it painted a clear picture in a few words.

The door locking was with comedy.

Onto the rest, I thought it was alright, but not good - maybe average. I thought the boss changed character a bit, by first seeming to be just a really rude boss, to being overly egotistical. It's not a big deal, I just wondered about that. Maybe I'm being too picky there.

I didn't see the "dickhead" part as clicking. The way the boss was, I think he would have reacted much more harshly, and I don't think the employee would have called him that in the first place, unless he was first described as a laid back dude or something, who was new to the company.

The lightning ending was good, but I would have found it much more fitting if the boss kept rambling insults, such as if you weren't morons, you simply would have said God bless you and this wouldn't have happened - you're all fired. And he seemed like such an ass, so maybe they would have celebrated that the boss was dead, instead of being horrified. Maybe they could mock him by thanking God that he killed the wicked boss, since he was so religious. Then the boss could say that he's not dead yet, they are all fired, and morons.

I just thought of what my main problem with this sketch is. The boss is immediately portrayed as very rude and disrespectful to his employees, and them not refusing to say God Bless you should have been their way of not paying him any respect, and he senses that, and gets angry about it. I could see him maybe not saying to much after the first time, but then he gets madder and madder the following times, but they refuse to budge. Instead, it's about them not being religious, or of being in another religion, which has nothing to do with them refusing to pay some courtesy or respect to their boss because he pays no respect to them. It's like a theme could have been used, but wasn't. The small employees refuse to be respectful in the only way they can to the big bad boss. This guy was so mean, I just didn't see them as the types who would dare argue with him. Maybe he could demand that they say it, and they simply stare at him, and he get's so mad, thinking that will work, but they still refuse. Then he'd come down a bit and open up, admitting he doesn't desrve the respect - I don't know. 4.5 out of 10. The previous sketch, 4 out of 10.

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Replies:

Re: The Sneeze by: Patrick Lonergan -- Patrick, 19:36:55 05/24/06 Wed
- Re: The Sneeze by: Patrick Lonergan -- Matteo, 06:19:45 05/25/06 Thu