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Date Posted: 11:04:19 05/10/04 Mon
Author: Max
Subject: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackk!!!!
In reply to: Patrick Lonergan 's message, "REVIEWS: Snoop Dogg 05/08/04" on 14:54:38 05/08/04 Sat

And I'm here to review. So let's get started.

"A Message from the President"

Okay, the "President Bush is stupid" angle has been done to death, so if you're going to revive it, you need a fresh angle. "I just learned where the Middle East" is has been done so many times. The Iraq-Iran joke was kinda funny and new. It would have been funny if he had made the joke that kids always make "I rack, I ran, hee hee hee." Okay, maybe just I would have laughed. Moving it on to all "I" countries is kinda funny. But this sketch is way to short for a cold opening! Elaborate on the idea! What does this mean to "J" countries? Why just "I" countries? Give us a reason (a funny reason preferably). This was kinda done before on SNL, when President Bush said we were attacking countries alphabetically. Its okay to kinda rip off on that joke, but elaborate and make it your own. Good start, just develop it more.

Monologue:
Kinda lame. Having Hammer come back is a good idea, just work with it more. What is Hammer doing now? Flippin burgers? Make a joke of it:

Snoop: "Hey man, you're still wearing those parachute pants that were so popular back in the 90s."
Hammer: "Man I've been wearing this same pair since 1992! I can't afford to buy new clothes!"

Or have Hammer get upset at a cast member who tries to drag him off and have Snoop say "Please Hammer, don't hurt him!" Anyway, you get the idea, Hammer can be the butt of a lot of jokes, just develop it more and elaborate.

The whole shizzle thing is kinda old, I thought the real SNL did a good job of handling it. Snoop doing Shakespeare would be kinda funny though. Again, develop it!

"Cheerios"

I like that people are pissed off at this guy, because he is seriously annoying. Take him and Carrot Top, and the AFLAC duck, and the Verizon "can you hear me now" guy and throw them off a cliff and I'd be happy. Throw Jared in too.
The "twist" ending threw me off. Why is John Kerry sponsoring this ad? The beginning was clever, but the way you tied it into the campaign didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense, or was all that funny. Good start, just take it in a different direction.

"Negative Connotations"

I used to love this format from the old Dana Carvey-SNL days, TV shows that would never be TV shows in real life, but were funny because they covered some small niche in life. Jorbaloney is a funny name. The "Sweetie" and "Cutie" banter is kinda odd. The abortion joke is actually pretty funny - "who hasn't?" The blow job wife joke is good. I guess the entire premise seems shaky though. I guess the point is taking negative words and making them positive? I just started falling flat other than the two jokes I mentioned. But I like the format, and the two jokes I did like were pretty funny.

"Underdog"

Wasn't there a real cartoon called "Underdog"? I like how Snoop corrects the spelling. But who is Underdog? What powers does he have? You need to properly introduce your character to us. Weird transition when Underdog threatens the guy, then waves at Polly...what happens to the guy? Is he scared? Does Underdogg threaten to hit him? Does he run off? Reading later, I guess he didn't. The joke about "how does this help us take over the world" was good. Jack Slick's character was funny in his machismo - "all you need is one man." But again, it would be funnier if you told us what Underdogg was all about. What differentiates him from other superheros? His profane language? Is he a superhero from the hood? What's his hook? But I was pleasantly surprised with the sketch, it had its definite funny moments.

"Fanfiction Theater"
Good premise, but most people don't know what fanfic is. I'd instead say this was a FOX Made for TV movie to capitalize on the "Passion" phenomena. The line on "unintentionally grotesque parodies" was funny. What does God look like? Describe him. The flowing white robes I guess. Play up the seduction scene. How bout some Marvin Gaye for the mood? How bout some Binaca? Coathanger...ewww, that's an image I don't want. Kinda crude, and over the top blasphemous, which is fine by me if its clever, but it almost seems like you're trying to be provocative for the sake of being provacative. Okay, its kinda funny that God making Mary pregnant is like a date rape, but you need some funny to fill in the blanks. Play on God's shortcomings:

Mary: I didn't feel a thing!
God: What are you trying to say?
Mary: I'm just saying, maybe you could have borrowed Moses's staff.
God (angrily): I am what I am!

Or something like that. I dunno, just seems like its Mary yelling at God, which isn't all that funny in itself, but if you added some jokes it could be pretty funny.

"Weekend Update"
Heinz ketchup - just random and pretty lame
Jeffrey Dahmer - lame
Starr Jones - very funny
Singapore sex - I don't get it. Is it common knowledge that the Bushes don't have sex?
Gorilla - kinda funny
Laura Bush dead - what?!?!? I don't get it, and very disturbing to make a joke of killing the First Lady
black golfers - what?!?!?!? Racist, and I don't get it at all! What is the joke? That Tina is racist?
"abhorrent, homoerotic" - funny!
Aniston pyromaniac - extremely lame
cow tits - you need to set a joke up more. The ideal joke should have three sentences. Not really all that funny though.
Cinco de Mayo - kinda funny. A good picture of Jimmy drunk would have made it great.
"Partridge Family on bats" - I don't get it. What do they have to do with anything?
Sasser virus - so the computer argues with Jimmy and Tina. Not funny at all. If you think using profane language automatically makes something funny, you should probably get out of writing now.

Sorry, but this was dreadful overall. One good joke. And it was too short. It could have used a good guest commentary. And some good jokes.

I'll write more later. Sorry if I seem harsh, but I just demand good, humorous writing! Keep at it though!

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