Because I had a few sad hours by myself and decided to review -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 21:18:28 05/16/04 Sun
Author: and everyone likes feed back - Jen
Subject: Because I had a few sad hours by myself and decided to review
In reply to: Diputs - flip it and reverse it....wait don't flip it! 's message, ""You can't hurry love." - Stupid's opinion" on 00:03:19 05/13/04 Thu

CO � This had great potential, you could have taken this all the way to the level of �the axis of evil� where everything with an I Bush starts declaring war on. Not just countries or states, but towns, celebrities, coffee chains whatever you can think of that starts with an I. Although I did like the comment about Idaho and Indiana. Also, in the beginning you note it as being during the day and then Bush greets America with �good evening� and �good night,� while our commander in chief is dim he�s not that stupid. It�s not funny it just looks like a writing error. Also, either put your set descriptions in ( ) or keep them in all caps like you started with. But I like the idea, and there were some fun lines in there, but I would have liked to see you take it further.

Mono � I like the idea of bringing back earlier black pop culture icons. Although, I think you should have had Finesse do it, not JB Smoove. SNL has black actors for a reason; let the writers do their thing. If you don�t want to cast black actors in roles that are black then lets fire them all and put Jimmy in black face again. Now maybe JB did a Hammer thing in his standup but there�s no reason you can�t shove Finesse in some stupid pants and have relive those 80s. Anyway, as far as this goes content wise you needed to pick either Hammer tries to prove how a REAL monologue works (songs and dances and whatnot) or he needs to go Woodrow on Snoop and prove the true value of bums and go the route Max suggested and what happens to decade confined black icons. Nice ideas, pick just one. And use REAL SNL cast members!

Cheerios � Ah�.so many messages today need approval. 1) I like that this was short and I still laughed aloud a few times. 2) I like the massage chair line 3) I loved the approval twist at the end. In the first description line there is a tense issue or two, but other than that you parodied the commercial well and I enjoyed not only the exchange between Bush and Guy but also your end endorsement. It felt choppy, but I assumed that was to copy the flow of the actual commercials.

Negative Connotations � The first time I laughed in this skit was when Kip reintroduced himself as Sweetness and the Dr. as Cutie. I could see it being played off well. There were also humorous interchanges between the two with the 2 words thing, and when Cutie seemed to be contradicting himself. I enjoyed the call back of aborted fetus at the end, nice writing touch. Usually you seem to build with the inappropriateness, which is structurally great. However, this sketch felt like it wandered to me. You start off with the connotations of pet names and being mistaken for gay men, which was funny but overshadowed the purpose and level of funny with corporation. So you had a little funny peak with pet name connotations, you went into a lull with corporation and by the time you were talking about abortions you went from not funny, not really even amusing to something offensive and controversial. Your controversial content can be funny but it needs to be built up to and I didn�t feel like you did that here. As a result the abortion commentary sort of wanders and doesn�t seem all that hilarious to me. In addition, Sweetness� attitude toward paying for multiple abortions seems to contradict his heartbreak at the end when the Polaroids of his cheating wife are produced. Maybe not, but it seems contradictory to me�maybe the abortions were from his earlier years. Then you move on to blow job which doesn�t have the same dynamic that abortion does, it�s just not as loaded of a term. These two need to be switched in order to better build your audience for the switch when you get to wife beater. Instead of following a mountain type structure this is like a hill with a bunch of really deep potholes. As a result, when you get to wife beater, the climax and switch of your scene, the audience isn�t prepared to handle the controversial dialogue, at least I wasn�t, and it wasn�t that funny to me. It read like charged dialogue that was intended to be funny, but other than a few character relation type subtleties it did nothing for me.

Underdogg � Thanks for explaining what songs the quotes are from because I was a tad confused. I think this might have come off a bit better if it was in the form of an episode rather than a trailer. Because not too many people are familiar with Underdog it would give them a better feel for the characters. But a snoop underdog � that�d be wild to see.

Fan Fiction � I personally don�t mind the phrase unmarried woman outfit at all, although I don�t know if you could really step on a donkey hoof�and if you could they�re pretty touch (I think) so I�m not sure if it would hurt the animal. I think incorporating some of the jokes Max talked about, or things along those lines, would really help here. Blasphemy aside, the line �you�re going to have a baby so please don�t kill it� was actually pretty funny, although the coat hanger gave me sympathy pains. This could use some smoothing out, it feels choppy and verging on rushed even though I know it was up on the message boards for some time. Kudos for trying something new; making fun of fan fic is a great idea. Even though the Passion fervor is kind of passing, it�s Harry Potter time people!

Dennis Miller � I already said my thing about using actors who are not SNLers. A credit to your writing though, I haven�t seen any Miller in a long time (thanks to CC not doing any more reruns�) but this was pretty funny. I enjoyed a lot of the dialogue. And even though you used Fallon as a son, I still think he could have done Miller and you could have used Seth, with a similar body type, for Holden. Does Holden speak like his father? The beginning was great, the rants and character exchanges were fantastic. It slowed down a lot during the interview, but in any case, I enjoyed this sketch a lot, good job. On a sad note, I wouldn�t even know who Marie Curie is if it weren�t for Clone High�Will Forte pre-SNL, I salute you.

Shopping with Baby � This reminds of the Family guy when Stewie can talk and you never really know if the family can hear him or not; sometimes they have conversations with him and sometimes he says things that they can�t hear at all. I don�t know if it worked here. I might have liked it more if we had heard what the baby was saying. The element of the mom appearing crazy is nice but not all that impressive. I did like the line about the baby�s pants being down. I don�t know if the end with him attacking the baby for calling him gay is really that realistic, he reacted more to the mother appearing crazy than he did the conversation she was having with the baby. Maybe if he had become a part of the conversation it would be warranted, he and the baby could have teamed up against the mother. It�s a nice premise and some good lines, but I feel like it�s missing something.

On a complete side note: How are things? How is school? I�ve noticed these past two weeks kind of a slump in some aspects of your sketches which you�re usually awesome at, ie the structure thing earlier this episode. This season you brought some of my favorite pieces (ie The Tape from the Baldwin episode.) I just wanted to say that whatever�s up you�ve got talent, and you�re appreciated, and I was wondering if things were okay because usually you don�t have these sort of, in my opinion, issues in your work.

Viagra � I don�t feel like this one had the same effect as the other one. The first was entirely unexpected. This transition into a Bush approved message felt really forced and didn�t have nearly the same punch as the cheerios commercial. Oh well, nice choice of product.

Moon News � This was very odd, and I liked it. I enjoyed the weather man, and how his coughing immediately became a news story � even possible terrorist attack. While this is humorous [Shot cuts to whoever is talking. Fredrick Sunstorm is wearing a space suit and holding a microphone. Yeah, hand held microphones probably wouldn't work on the moon...] it�s probably better to make this look like an underdeveloped, just starting yet still reputable news cast and give the poor guy a working mic. Or pretend like the cordless mic has special moon rays that just work, no questions asked. Same thing at the end, I would have liked to see the news casters kinda stare off in uncertainty as they assure the viewers there�s more riveting news ahead when there�s not. While the �jerks�� is a classic JPism another way you could have gone would be for Frederick Sunstorm to suddenly be devoured by the boringness of the dark side of the moon, the same fate as habitat 11 (or somehow reveal what happened to those unlucky people�)

Game Show News Network - This was a FANTASTIC idea. But I wish you would have gone with more of an infotainment parody. But instead of more political bashing, I would have liked to see you use game shows to tell about news headlines. It would make a better parody of infotainment. In addition, the middle clip seems to take a long time compared to the others Otherwise this sketch is nothing but a poorly masked political rant and I think it has more potential than that.

Road to the white house � I think the visualization of the rap would pay off really well. This skit was short, to the point, and didn�t drag on with completely unrelated tag ons simply to take up time. Nice.

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Is there something wrong w/ me?? -- JPIII, 22:32:24 05/16/04 Sun