the review just plain smells funny -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 16:33:40 05/13/04 Thu
Author: CCS
Subject: the review just plain smells funny
In reply to: CCS 's message, "the review curdles" on 22:54:01 05/11/04 Tue

The shocking finale of my Lohan reviews. I'm sorry this took so long. I'll get to Snoop and then the Olsen Twins and probably have gotten through all of that by the time our first mock host hits the site. But I figure the writers would prefer late feedback to no feedback, especially those of the later sketches in the update that unfortunately tend to be ignored. So here is the moment you've all been waiting for:

valedictorian - the one thing both this sketch and your other sketch have in common is that you based a lot of the dialogue around a single word. "Pee-pee" repeatedly turned up in conversation in Chinese Coke and here "slut" seems to be the dominant description. I'll be honest - while reading I can find it a bit frustrating to see the same word turn up again and again... it almost feels like you're recycling dialogue within the sketch. Yet, this is probably truer to how people speak, tending to repeat words and phrases. Many SNL sketches have greatly relied on a single phrase or word to extract humor. (That one where Phil Hartman keeps calling teen idols "sassy" comes to mind, and Kelsey Grammer's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea.) The problem may be, when you break away from the pattern, that you tend to rely on odd, jokey metaphors that can be hit-or-miss, instead of solid synonyms. I guess maybe I just felt more of the metaphors were miss than hit in this sketch. Anyway, the plot and twist were good, in the traditional JPIII way. It may seem like I focused on just one aspect of the sketch and didn't review it as a whole, but I'm pointing out what I see as my greatest concern in the suspension of disbelief stage. It was a funny sketch.

insane pirate - set 'em and shut 'em down. It begins in the style of Appalachian Emergency Room with random guy and silly situation followed by a quick dismissal. Instead of keeping with the spastic slapstick style of quick exit and entry, the next criminal is there for an extended period of time, but the tone of the sketch doesn't really change to reflect this. As such, the non-sequitirs are a bit wearing and by the time he's trying to talk on his shoe phone, He's already an idiot, but to make matters worse, he has no idea how to use technology!, just doesn't provide enough rationale. Basically, it feels like this was written silly joke by silly joke with no real thought given to how the pieces come together as a whole.

orientation - a tad on the shorter side, I felt this sketch had good concepts but just didn't go far enough exploring them. The way Student 1 would blurt out something and Lindsay would reply "Awesome." I thought was really funny, but it just didn't seem like you got the mileage you could have. "Molly, I just discovered that uvulas are the hottest part of a woman's body." "Awesome." "Molly, I find I have fiercer orgasms after a tofu dinner." "Awesome." and so on and so forth. I'm sure you could write better ones than my quick suggestions for this sort of dialogue; I'm just writing on the fly. To get really good lines whenever you have a device like this, I recommend pulling out a notepad and just jotting down the first ten lines of the type that come to mind. They won't all be funny. Take the best ones, or look at the "good" ones and figure out how to rewrite them (for example, I switched to uvulas from trimmed toenails), and then insert them into the sketch. Whenever I take the time and effort to employ this method, I generally find myself very pleased with the results. Overall, funny sketch that could have used a little more development. Welcome to the site.

doctor jose - the opening scene to this sketch provided some very strong visuals. The flinging of paper would look hilarious. I found the commercial-style tone to detract from the sketch, other devices could have been employed that don't seem as tired. Hillary already mentioned the bit about house calls working they other way - I don't think that invalidates this sketch, I just think it would have been a good idea for it to be acknowledged. "Aren't you supposed to come to my house for a house call?" Just that one line of dialogue, and everything would be peachy. I thought the interactions between the wife and Shelly were funny, where she obviously despises what her husband is doing but acts like a perfect host to Shelly in a wicked way. While the characterization was good, some of the jokes felt a bit weak. For example, you lead up to the "I'm French" thing well, but it just didn't seem that funny when it happened. Anyway, nice work and (if I'm wrong somebody bludgeon me with a baseball bat) congratulations on your first sketch on the site.

andrew dice clay - I'm going to make up a comedic principle here, and that is the "catch the ball with two hands" principle. It's of course made to be broken and is has no real bearing in the world of comedy, but hear me out and decide if you agree. Whenever you play a sport that involves catching a ball, whether as wide receiver, first baseman, basketball forward or goalie, you're told to catch the ball with two hands, not one. Expend the extra effort to ensure you have it, don't just rely blindly on your gloved hand. How does that apply to comedy? Don't overhype a single line and expect it to deliver the laughs, bring it in and secure it. If it misses, and leaves you floundering, you'll just be looking foolish for missing that easy out/touchdown/lay-up/save/whatever. In this case, Why not�if a guy like Jimmy Kimmel can get a late night talk show, I sure the hell can! seems to be given the bulk weight of supporting them premise of your sketch, and it's just really not that funny. You need to support this, not expect it to take care of your every concern. It needs a follow-up line: I was still nervous but they promised whiskey and hookers in my dresing room so I said, "What the hell?" Something like that. As with all my line examples, it probably could still be better, but I just think a follow-up line of this type is needed to seal the deal on your premise. I'll be honest, after that Jay-C stuff that I wasn't fond of at all, I wasn't expecting much from a sketch starring Clay, especially in a Lindsay Lohan espisode where inappropriate lust seems to be the norm. Luckily, there was no pedophilia to be found. In fact, there were even a few highlights, such as when he says But hey, if you really want to have a laugh, look at this guy. Caught me completely off-guard, very good job of writing in character. Though a few off the bits seemed very tenuously strung together, I liked how the sketch closed out. Bit crude, but not overly so and completely in character.

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