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Date Posted: 21:15:29 05/16/04 Sun
Author: along with a monthly donation option
Subject: Because I got a WA democrat membership card in the mail
In reply to: Jen 's message, "I must have signed something, even though I didn't mean to" on 21:13:40 05/16/04 Sun

Let Them Eat Fudge-JP Ragan
[Jessie starts drinking out of the lemonade pitcher which is opaque. She drinks for an extended period of time, wipes her mouth, jumps up and down a couple of times and rubs her belly.] „² Does she do that in front of her friends? Wouldn¡¦t that make them not trust her? I would almost have rather had a reoccurring bit, like she¡¦s drinking tea every time she¡¦s talking with a customer but when they order, she as to run behind the bushes and get the ¡§special ingredient.¡¨ I like the final pay off, but it seems like it takes a long time to build up to that.

Valedictorian Ritual-JPIII
I¡¦m warning you right now: this is not so much a review but a rant.
Structurally this is fantastically written, the buildup with the insinuations of the characters was great. I was honestly; very angry at where I thought the sketch was going. Then you had the twist and she became Slutty McSlutterson which isn¡¦t where I thought it would go and I was genuinely relieved. Great writing, however, I have a problem with the message this sends even if it that¡¦s not what you meant, I just want what I saw this as out there. Lohan¡¦s character is told she can¡¦t be successful and go to Harvard unless she sells out and becomes a slutty girl. However, as soon as she¡¦s willing to concede to those who are pressuring her she¡¦s told that slutty girls aren¡¦t valedictorians. The message: if you¡¦re a good girl, you¡¦re not going to get what you want until you sell out a little. But when you do, you¡¦re going to be called a slut and won¡¦t earn the respect/success/whatever you sold out to get in the first place. Furthermore, the presumption that the other candidate will also be a slutty girl implies that all girls are sluts. Do I think you meant to send that message? Absolutely not, but that¡¦s how I took it. Characterization and structure in this sketch are amazing, but I hate the content-or at least my interpretation of it.

Insane Pirate ¡V DGR4
Here you¡¦ve got the first character that is in and out of the courtroom really quickly, and then you¡¦ve got this pirate who takes a lot of time. I think it would be wise to either use multiple characters and move them through quickly or to just focus on the pirate. You have good characterization and funny attributes for each character, but picking either a multiple character platform, or just focusing on the one character would be a good idea.

Western College ¡V Mike Short
I had the same reaction to this as I had to Old School. I saw Old School in an auditorium filled with Greeks (and not the big fat wedding kind). And as people cheered and guffawed at situations I didn¡¦t identify with, I found myself facing the somewhat sad mostly confused and slightly amused realization that ¡§oh¡K.people actually do this¡K¡¨ I like the escalation of their comments ¡§I¡¦m bi-curious¡¨ to ¡§I¡¦m definitely a lesbian¡¨ and that sort of thing to be well planned and funny. I get annoyed by super liberal campus ideas, once a political radical followed me around with a pamphlet with our administration pictured on the front entitled: The Children of Satan, and told me that Bush is evil and that Kerry couldn¡¦t convince a mosquito to bite me. Aside from that misstatement, because mosquitoes love me! I was annoyed. Good way to make fun of liberal colleges and kids trying ¡§new¡¨ things, but it wasn¡¦t my favorite, it hit close to home in an unfavorable way.

House Calls ¡V Christena
This is too long to do in the commercial format; you¡¦d be better off either cutting the first part or shortening both parts. You could make the first part into a montage of some sort, but essentially it needs to be shortened as a whole. I liked the reactions of the wife to her husband ¡§helping¡¨ his patient, they was well done; as were the distinctions between different kinds of cultural kissing (European vs. Latin America). There are a lot of great elements of characterization and situational comedy, but it needs to be shorter. Good job on your first sketch.

Andrew Dice Clay ¡V Mark Jennings Reese II
Alright, I¡¦m tired. I really don¡¦t like the real Diceman, so I¡¦m not a huge fan of the sketches featuring him. Great joke with ¡§if you want to see an ass look at that guy.¡¨ Very funny, and I¡¦m sure there¡¦d be a great facial reaction on Horatio¡¦s part. But that was probably the best part of the sketch for me. I don¡¦t like Clay¡¦s standup, what I¡¦ve heard of it at least. And what I heard doesn¡¦t really line up with what you¡¦ve written for him, but I¡¦m just going to assume that you know his style and content more than I do and leave it at that.

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