Woo! Boo! Ramble!- Round 2 - WU -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 21:23:42 05/16/04 Sun
Author: still Jen...in case you forgot
Subject: Woo! Boo! Ramble!- Round 2 - WU
In reply to: Game Show Reviews 's message, "Woo! Boo! Ramble!" on 21:22:13 05/16/04 Sun

Week End Update � SNY Writing Crew {Jim, Jen, JP, MJRjr}
I drew: Woo

I�m going to do a joke by joke WOO because I�ve got some extra time right now and if I have nothing to say I�m simply going to put a smiley face.

The Tennessee district of Rhea County is currently considering legislation that would ban homosexuals from the area. Next on the county commissioners' agenda; banning common sense, decency and tolerance. All are expected to pass without opposition.

Ooh, sarcasm. I liked this because the set up isn�t too long. A long set up kills a sarcastic punch line, you need to just get to it, and I think you did.

Speaking at Vanderbilt University this week, National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice compared Middle Eastern terrorists to members of the Ku Klux Klan, citing that both groups use violence to instill fear in their victims. She failed, however, to identify a great point of contrast between the two groups, in that the Klan does not admit Arabs.

:-D

Controversial liberal cartoonist Ted Rall has come under fire again for an editorial where he stated that the American troops in Iraq are "indistinguishable from the SS." Yeah, and I suppose in your eyes, Mr. Rall, the Iraqi army under Saddam Hussein was a group of saints. Oh sure, sure, you kept quiet when the Kurds are being gassed and buried by the hundreds of thousands, but when a few naked prisoner photos show up, all of a sudden we're worse than Hitler. Honestly! Start living in the real world!

It�s kind of delivery dependent but alright.

Fans of Rall will be happy to know that he is releasing a new collection of cartoons and commentaries about the events that transpired in Europe during the Second World War. The working title Rall chose for his book; "Holocaust Victims Had it Coming."

Neither joke itself is amazing but they pair up well.

An elementary school teacher in Dallas was suspended when he allegedly ordered his second grade class to take turns in hitting a classmate. Gee, even in this day and age, Ike Turner can't get any breaks.

Current trend: Every time some semi washed up pop star is around children something illegal happens and they�re facing jail time. Crazy. I liked this joke.

Subway lady: my commentary

I met a lady on the bus who I essentially had this conversation with. Except I wasn�t bonding to her it was this guy who smoked outside her window�they really did communicate by what they wore. I think that�s a sign she�s read too much Cosmo and In Style and not enough Sanity Weekly. It�s kind of a long commentary though.

A Tennessee man who faked his suicide 13 years ago to avoid fraud and burglary charges has been found alive and well in California, this week. (Pause) Hang on! A late breaking story, Martha Stewart is dead!

:-D

A study this week shows the chlamdyia is on the rise for young American adults. In a related story, Paris Hilton!

:-D, I just don�t think this was a smooth enough transition. You would have been better off doing what Jimmy really does with jokes like this and saying: (close up of Jimmy�s face) You�re welcome. Or you could do (close up of Tina�s face) Thank you. Something like that.

Paul McCartney's rock and roll practice session drew complaints from many people in an East London Suburb earlier this week. One 67 year old who complained of the loud noise told reporters "They play their music too loud nowadays, why in my day...dammit."

:-D

Playboy is reportedly looking for women employees of Home Depot to pose for an upcoming edition of the magazine. Meanwhile, the magazine Big Chicks Monthly is reportedly working on a "Women of Costco" pictorial.

Heh, for the record, I mostly see dudes at Costco so it�s a good thing they�re not doing a calendar I�m pretty sure they�d only make it to March.

A new study has shown that book sales have dropped dramatically over that last year. The study blames the drop on.. (awkward pause) Well I didn't quite finish reading the whole article. It was kind of long. (shuffling papers) I'm pretty sure it'll be on tape or something soon. I'll let you know.

Haha, I like this, it�s delivery dependent but it could be good.

Pamela Anderson became an American citizen this week saying she felt it was important that she be able to vote. She added "It's important that everyone in this country votes. We have to make sure that what happened to Laytoya London doesn't happen again."

Amen. What do you think? Did you beat Conan? To your credit, I can�t even remember Conan�s punch line but I have a weird memory�I only remember useless things I will never need again.

Due to high gas prices, reports suggest that consumers may move away from SUVS to other transportation solutions which use less fuel, such as running to work while emptying jerry cans filled with gas.

:-D

An independent group of scientists have reported that they do not believe that the planned missile shield over North America will work effectively. They reached this conclusion through years of testing done with a minature version of the shield placed inside Kelly Ripah's vagina.

Haha. You spelled her name wrong, btw, it�s Ripa. And I think it�s kind of weird that you misspelled it considering she hosted this season. But maybe you didn�t know, not that big of a deal.

Research has discovered that Lemurs are more intelligent than first thought and that the primates are able to use computers when given some kind of reward incentive. The prize used in this particular study: sweet Lemur porn.

First Pat references Horsey porn and now Lemur porn? Is there an animal trend going on that I�m unaware of?

Chris Parnell commentary:
:-D

I really liked the idea of explaining how the third party came about�however, I don�t know if you took the joke far enough to really explain the thought process. Also, this isn�t really Parnell-esque. I know the joy of being a writer is to cast whoever you want, but this is kind of off beat and it may have come off better using Horatio or some one who�s not usually playing the straight man these days. Great idea, I�d like to see it taken farther and explained a bit more.

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Replies:

Woo! Boo! Ramble! Final Round -- Lightening Round, keep your hands on your buzzers, 21:24:46 05/16/04 Sun
Nah.... -- JP, 01:44:41 05/25/04 Tue