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Date Posted: 12:24:02 05/14/20 Thu
Subject: Comsie's Answer...
In reply to:
's message, "Imagine Question For 5/1" on 06:03:10 05/02/20 Sat
When it comes to me, personally...it's no secret that I can be a glutton for punishment. I mean, I'm pretty much used to it, and have spent a majority of my life trying to let it roll off my back whenever possible. When I was younger? I used to fight a lot. Like...FIST fights! Hehehe, looking back on it, it's hard to see myself as being so hot headed. But that mellowed out somewhere in the middle of high school. I might take some heat on my own back...but if you messed with one of my friends or someone in my family? You could expect a visit from me. And it was NOT going to be a friendly one. I would definitely stand up for someone else before I stood up for myself. It's just a part of my DNA, I suppose.
By the time I was in high school, it wasn't so much about being violent, as it was about completely embarrassing the people who were looking for attention. You want attention? I'm going to make sure that you get it. And it's not the attention you want, trust me. I definitely have a temper, but it's a very slow burn kind of temper. Like, it really takes a LOT to get me to a point where I'm ready to just unleash on somebody and give them both barrels. But if you guys ever see me losing my cool and ranting and raving like a lunatic, you better believe that the person I'm aiming my fury at has gone to GREAT lengths to get me to that point. I'm not super sensitive and I don't fly off the handle for no reason. But...I have no problem asking somebody if they have a problem with me if I feel a certain degree of animosity coming from their end of the table. And I have no problem telling them to back the fuck off if they get out of line. Outside of that...leave me alone, and I'll leave you alone. There's enough room in the world for both of us to coexist. No problem. Everybody wasn't meant to be best friends, you know?
When it comes to other people that I care about, however...that will bother me more than anything. And I'd like to think that I'm much more mature about it now, but when it comes to arguments in the chatroom, or on the board, or at GayAuthors, or anywhere else...everybody will tell you that I'll gladly 'tap out' and walk away to save my friends from having to deal with extra struggle and stress just because of me. I won't do it. I'll fight for them, tooth and nail...but if I'm the problem, I'll simply remove myself from the equation. Nobody else should be forced to deal with my demons. That's my job.
I think things are very different for me nowadays. It doesn't really phase me anymore. And I won't hesitate to stand up for my friends and family if they need it. I've stood up for my co-workers, for my classmates, for my cousins....it's the right thing to do. I'd feel bad about myself later if I didn't. And I've thrown tantrums to defend close friends of mine before, even though my friends were in the wrong. But, as soon as the conflict is over, I'll tell them, "You were TOTALLY wrong for what you did! That's fucked up!" LOL! But, in the MOMENT...I've got your back!
So, I don't want to say that I come anywhere near having a hero complex, but I take it personally when people think that they can commit acts of abuse and cruelty right in front of me. I won't stand for it. I've been on the other side of 'helpless' when I was growing up. And that's forced me to sympathize with anybody else who's going through something similar. Every single time. So....yeah. Captain Comsie to the rescue!
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