Up Hill Battle -- The Lounge Of Lyricism 2003

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Date Posted: 11:35:58 03/07/03 Fri
Author: Digits
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 207.160.227.8
Subject: Up Hill Battle

Everyday my life brings me grief and stress,
on probation for solicitations of weed and X.
I'm like a hex, sometimes it's truly vexing,
I wonder where I'm going and if death will be the next thing.
The system has my head held down under water,
I struggle up for air, but they push me down harder.
Everyday we go to school hour after hour,
the structure makes me feel useless,
like Hulk without his power.
It gets hard holding on,
like climbing an icy tower,
my youth is almost gone,
these struggles make me sour,
I know that these times can't last much longer,
every hurdle I overcome only makes me stronger,
These words describe how in life I must endeavor,
It's an up hill battle in some stormy weather,
but I'll climb and struggle on, now and forever.

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Replies:

yea, this was pretty nice, cept for your rhyme scheme...was pretty weak, but your thoughts are felt,nice thoughts, but flow wasnt all there, kinda lost it, but yea, elevate in your Rhymescheme, like using Multis or something that will make a reader stop and say..."WOW" (NT) -- NoFlow, 11:47:01 03/07/03 Fri
yeah man thats whats up..nothin bad about that (NT) -- beans, 12:28:52 03/07/03 Fri
That was straight. -- Lil' Lucky, 12:40:24 03/07/03 Fri
hella short and hella weak...damn man quit coming with that stupid bullshit and come with the real hiphop... (NT) -- the dark spitter, 12:54:05 03/07/03 Fri
i know exactly what ya mean dawg, everything seems to be just to so ..... arrrrggghhh (NT) -- nemesis, 13:08:39 03/07/03 Fri
I don't know what Dark Spitter is talkin about over here...you're iller than him, atleast you don't FORCE your lines....but yo....I see potential, we all have to start somewhere....scheme was somewhat simplistic but you delivered your thoughts well....keep writin yo and bring up ideas you think no one else can conjure....peace (NT) -- N.a.K.I.X.e.M. aka DamienCHRIST of The Lounge of Lyricism, 13:34:08 03/07/03 Fri
i thought this started off strong as hell, around the level you'd expect most vets writing poetic type depressed shit to come off with...flow was pretty nice too...but about halfway through it just kinda fell off...you were just making sure the words rhymed by then...potential yes, and plenty of it, just take critiques well and keep on... (NT) -- XitiZeN, 02:09:28 03/08/03 Sat
pimp shit dog (NT) -- Lil' Jay, 15:27:20 03/08/03 Sat

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