<font color=red> Backwards... -- The Lounge Of Lyricism 2003

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Fri April 26, 2024 20:08:49 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ]

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Date Posted: 09:49:24 02/01/03 Sat
Author: FLaTLyNe
Author Host/IP: spider-mtc-th072.proxy.aol.com / 64.12.102.52
Subject: Backwards...

At times I feel my heart is pure
Unparallel to an invisible lining
A-Symmetrical but still combining
FLaT has been a lost seed
Since cipher lost Cee
Pre-written
But free-spitten
My body focused on rhythm
Words just rhyme
If you lose time then
Pay me no mind
An empty outlet
Thought biterness plugs my earset
X-tasy are we here yet?
Noises are we hear yet?
The end of all ambition
Becareful on how you approach my pain
Broken wings
Extradicted in flight
Kiss the fortune of doom
My words
My passion
The supreme width of my spinning axis
Implore she?
I dare you ask kids!
No thoughts process
Just aimlessly speaking
Death defying but soul-reaching
Words to microphone?
Didn't reach it!

They giveth & they taketh�
My response time is slower than usual�
She torched my ability to be�
I can�t touch what�s inside me�
And I just lust for what�s beside me�
Once I closed my eyes�
The picture became vivid�
Focused on deja-vu
I cut the playtime in two�
And quit my day job too�
Fuck that!�
I watch my body penetrate�
Seperating atoms of every surface�
My iris� cascade to the back of my head�
Lifelessness explores my entity�
Supreme thought process..
Overrule my enemies�
When my fingertips become meaningless�
In the end all that�s left is Ebonieah�
I float through the atmosphere�
Hoping to find a pamphlet�
And crack some secret passage�
But I don�t deal in mystery�
Nor do I search for what is not there�
At night�
My heart beat makes me scared�
All the days clickin� and tickin��
All my ambition�
Hopin� and wishin��.
In the end all that�s left is Ebonieah�

Peace!

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Replies:

The content in the second part is nice with some good vocab and usage, although I couldn't catch the flow of the first verse at all and some lines just didn't ryhme in both parts...I wasn't feeling meter here...The "iris.." line was ill, Peace -- ΜικΜαQ:TheΣxpressionist of Κa†a¢lÿzm, 11:46:32 02/01/03 Sat
You know exactly what you're doing when it comes to lyricism....I always enjoy your posts....even though the "length" in your bars (from my perspective) seems a little infantine, at times......other than that, keep this up and stay up.... (NT) -- h � k �/|_ A \/�...., 13:42:37 02/01/03 Sat
a very interesting piece...i found it to be more poetic than lyrical...i can dig it-oNe (NT) -- Know oNe, 14:18:49 02/01/03 Sat
tight -- isie, 19:37:08 02/01/03 Sat
this was iigh, didnt really do much for me... i couldnt really get into the begin for some reason, but the sencond part flowed a little better in my point of view.. well whatever.. keep doin you (NT) -- ��mz. m�j��麺�, 23:28:55 02/01/03 Sat
i think it flowed well all the way through..felt the content more in the gray area, umm....kinda wish the lines were a lil longer, but it work...drop some them audios shorty, how's the chilren (NT) -- Vision, 00:17:16 02/02/03 Sun
you need practice , elevate. (NT) -- nemisis, 07:55:32 02/02/03 Sun
lINES WERE SHORT DIG A LIL DEEPER AND PUT MORE STRUCTURE AND YOULL GET IT, CONTENT WAS REAL NICE THOUGH, I RECOMMEND YOU KEEP SPITTING TOO. DONT WORRY BOUT NEMISIS HES WACK ANYWAYS (NT) -- PAT D.A.W.G, 16:17:38 02/02/03 Sun
I didnt understande half of that, I like how it flowed, I can't even inagine writin like that (NT) -- CMOPAIN, 17:15:34 02/02/03 Sun

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