�A Word From A Few Of Our Writers� -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 05:09:36 12/11/06 Mon
Author: jennings
Subject: �A Word From A Few Of Our Writers�
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "Annette Benning (12/9/06)" on 09:05:49 12/09/06 Sat

Details: a presentation of new recurring characters coming to Saturday Night You

�A Word From A Few Of Our Writers�
Written by John Hugar & Mark Jennings Reese II

Announcer�Don Pardo (voice only)
Mark�Jason Sudeikis
John�Andy Samberg
Dane Campbell�Will Forte
Garth Bulger�Fred Armisen
Donnie Flanagan�Jon Lovitz (special guest)
Cajun Dude�Seth Meyers
Thawed Out Cave Dwelling Attorney�Darrell Hammond
Shannon�Annette Bening

(Fade in)

Announcer: And now a word from a few of the �Saturday Night You� writers.

(Mark & John, two SNY writers, sit behind a desk in a oval office type setup)

Mark: Hi, I'm �Saturday Night You� star writer Mark Jennings Reese II.

John: And I'm his comical sidekick, and occasional co-writer John Hugar.

Mark: Yes, you are�you�re also a walking punch line.

John: Okay, Mr. Over weight 21-year-old virgin comedy writer!

Mark: We�ll talk about this after the show�after I�ve balled your mother in the ass!

(John looks at Mark with a shocked look on his face)

Anyway, we have an important message for you. As you know, we at Saturday Night You are not allowed to use recurring characters from �Saturday Night Live�.

John: Yeah, and it's annoying as hell!

Mark: Settle down, John.

John: No, I'm sick of it, last year my �Hanz and Franz Ferdinand� sketch got cut because of that rule!

Mark: The archduke or the band?

John: That's just, the lead singer played the archduke, and it was hilarious!

Mark. Um, ok. Anyway, we have a simple solution to this problem. Instead of using recurring characters, we will simply use our own cheap rip-offs of recurring characters.

John: Truly genius.

Mark: Indeed. Now, we are going to show some of these characters for you, tonight. First off, we are proud to unveil the new sketch "Dane's World", featuring Dane Campbell, and Garth Bulger. Come out, guys.

(Dane & Garth come out to perform for the audience)

Dane: Awesome dudes, let's party!

Garth: Hell to the yeah!

Mark: Ok, time for you guys to go away.

Dane: All right, see you later dudes.

(Dane & Garth exit)

Mark: Ok, John, why don't you introduce our next recurring character?

John: With pleasure, my good chum. Please welcome Donnie Flanagan, the Pathological False Witness Bearer!

(Donnie comes out to perform)

Donnie: Hi everyone, I'm Donnie Flan -uh- Flanagen, yeah, that's the, uh, score!

(Donnie wonders off the stage)

Mark: That's not half as funny as �Yeah, that's the ticket�.

John: Hey, what're ya gonna do?

Mark: I guess. Anyway, let's introduce our next character.

John: Great idea. Fans of Adam Sandler are sure to love Cajun Dude.

(Cajun Dude comes out to perform)

Cajun Dude: Introduc-tion.

John: Cajun Dude, how do you feel about this experiment we're trying.

Cajun Dude: Character desecra-tion.

Mark: Yeah, what do you think will happen to us?

Cajun Dude: Legal ac-tion.

John: NBC doesn't scare us.

Mark: Cajun Dude, you can leave now.

Cajun Dude: Exiting the sta-tion.

(Cajun Dude exits the stage)

John: If NBC does decide to sue us, we can just use our next recurring character. Mark, tell them about it.

Mark: Certainly. Give it up for Jeerok, better known as Thawed Out Cave Dwelling Attorney.

(Thawed Out Cave Dwelling Attorney comes out to perform)

Thawed Out Cave Dwelling Attorney: I'm just a cave dweller; your world scares and confounds me.

Mark: Ok, we'll see you later.

Thawed Out Cave Dwelling Attorney: Everything in this studio scares me to the point of insanity. I just want to jump in my RANGE ROVER and drive away to a remote location and just scream.

(Thawed Out Cave Dwelling Attorney wonders off the stage)

John: And our finally character is a person.

Mark: That�s far too vague, John.

John: Well, that�s all I can really say about this person with hurting his or her feelings.

Mark: Oh right. Ladies and gentlemen, here is our good friend, Shannon.

(Shannon walks out; Shannon is a person whose gender is undefined)

Shannon: Hello. It�s nice of you to throw me a bone.

John: Hey Shannon, if you were a dog, would you be a �bitch� or a �dawg�?

Shannon: I�m sorry. What kind of question is that to ask someone like myself?

Mark: Shannon, I�d like to apologize on John�s behalf. He�s a douche bag! Speaking of which, do you douche?

Shannon: Oh. No! I use a bar of soap. It cleans my special areas�

(Mark & John look at each other, a little freaked out)

�in between my toes.

John: Yeah. That�s enough of that.

Mark: Thank you, Shannon for joining us. Now, we have plenty of other recurring characters, but that will have to wait for another time, because it�s time to get back to original comedy.

(The group of new rip-off recurring characters comes back on to the stage to wave goodbye)

John: We�ll be NB-Seeing you soon!

Mark: Wave to the wonderful people at home you wonderful recurring characters!

John: You�ll come back now, you hear?

Cajun Dude: Apprecia-tion.

(Cajun Dude looks at �Shannon�)

An amazing fascina-tion.

(Fade out)

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Replies:

SNY DIGITAL SHORT: Past Present Future -- jennings, 05:11:17 12/11/06 Mon
- �A Don Pardo Commercial Endorsement� -- jennings, 05:13:26 12/11/06 Mon