VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 123456[7]8910 ]


[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 07:40:41 04/14/06 Fri
Author: Skylar
Subject:
I don't know why it always has to come down to you leavin'
before I'll say I love you


It was amazing how a person could be so different from day to day. She knew she had to be driving Niko crazy and on days that her self esteem was low and her insecurity high, she wondered if he was only tolerating her because she was carrying his child. She had some good days, where she would be like the Skye he had fallen in love with so many years ago or even like the one he had fallen for once again when they had gone to buy the puppies -- he told her that was when he had fallen in love with her all over again -- but then other days she just crashed back down into the hesitant, self hating girl that the agency, the terrorists who had held her captured, her failed marriage, the custody battle that was currently going on....had made. Now, on top of all the other stress in life, there was this baby and the doctors telling her that it was a risk to her health to carry to full term and deliver it, that the baby could maybe not make it through the pregnancy because of all the scar tissue and damage she had internally from the hostage situation. The only things that really cheered her up were the kids, Ayden and Sam, and just being held by Niko. Still, even with him, she was a work in progress. She had only said I love you twice to him in the whole time they had been back together and she moved in with him - the night she found out she was pregnant and the day in the doctors when he had found out what she had gone through. She'd been going to counseling because he wanted her too though she didn't really think it was doing a whole lot, just kind of went and talked in a detached manner. That's what the therapist said, that she was detaching from the situation instead of dealing with it and that when she did think about it she turned her bitterness and hatred towards herself and that wasn't healthy. Apparently, there were just a lot of things about her that weren't healthy. At ten weeks along in her pregnancy, she was having to go to the doctors every week to make sure she was ok, to make sure the baby was ok and all that and she knew this was scaring Niko. He had lost Fyre due to childbirth and this whole situation had to be freaking him out but he wanted this child as bad as she did. It was like they were both trying to fix everything they had messed up in the past and she wasn't sure if that was even possible. Her brow furrowed a little as she ran her hand over her barely curved stomach, She still had some problems with dealing with the fact that the father of her soon to be child had another woman he had loved and she couldn't help but feel inferior from time to time, especially with Jewel subtly reminding her so very often that she would never be Fyre or as good for Niko as the other woman was. A deep breath escaped her lips as she shook off the melancholy that was starting to weigh down her shoulders and instead just stood up off the porch swing to go about painting the trip on the porch - a project she had been working on for the past few days since it was so nice out that week. She could always find little projects to do around the house and while she was told over and over not to over do it, she couldn't stand just sitting around. She missed the adrenaline of her job though -- since she hadn't passed the psych test and couldn't take it again for another year she couldn't go back to field work...but she couldn't have anyways with the baby and all -- and if she didn't have the little jobs to do around the majestic old house she had a feeling she might have had a break down of some sort. Now, she wasn't saying that every day sucked and she hated her life or anything, but she definitely was having a hard time of things from time to time though things had the possibility of getting better. Nonetheless, with every little thing taken into fact, Niko really did have quite the job put in front of him, being in love with her, but he was doing it admirably. She could never fault him in the way he loved her and she did love him in return, she showed it in everyway she could, she just really needed to get over the issues she had of feeling like she wasn't good enough for him, that she had ruined him before, that Fyre had been his savior and she the one who had sent him to hell and required him to be saved....Reaching over, she took a drink of the water bottle on the steps before going back to work on the pristine white trim on the porch.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]


Replies:



Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]


Forum timezone: GMT+3
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.