Date Posted:21:18:51 02/19/04 Thu Author: Jen Reviews Subject: Brace yourselves In reply to:
Patrick Lonergan
's message, "REVIEWS: Drew Barrymore 02/14/04" on 02:08:33 02/14/04 Sat
This won't be mean...but it'll probably be long.
As you may or may not know I recently started working at a hair salon, so my grades will reflect but not the critiques.
CO - MJR
A lot of people liked this...but we're going to have to agree to disagree. This refers to performance, but I think it's applicable in this case, when you're writing you need to find the game. Your character (Bush) needs to have a repeating game to keep the scene entertaining (ie "The axis of evil") that was the game, that was funny. It was also fast paced. Having the game there helps to create pacing, which this sketch lacked. The other option is the comedic rule of three. If you're going to go on little rants pick three, and make sure they're little. You start with mars, then Martin Luther king, then you're sidetracked with the investigation, then back to Robin Williams and more. In any case you need consistency in your address, either ranting (and either get through them much faster than you did, or pick fewer) or not trusting the white house reporter. Both make this sketch overloaded. And after all that, I give this sketch:
A beehive
Mono - Pat
I liked reading this, but I think it'd be really boring to watch. It's entirely dialogue based which is dandy for here, and it's slightly cynical as we all were when we thought "Kelis?" and then "Christina Aguilera's hosting next week?" I identify with the monologue but I don't know this dialogue is spicy enough to make a live audience laugh. The good news is it's brief, and any audience will watch anything for a minute before they get bored, angry, or bitter (performance rule of thumb) - which makes me wonder why so many SNL sketches go so long... Anyway, I hate monologues, I think they're hard. And I liked your idea, but it'd have to be real quick if were to actually be performed. I give this:
a crew cut
Disease Clinic: Scott and Love Sick Wes-calade
First of all I wish I had a better name for Scott... I apologize. Okay, here's what I like about this sketch, it's short, which for a commercial (especially a "Coming to [insert network name]" television show commercial) is really important, I think. It could be taken further, like CCS suggested, the characters developed the jokes developed whatever you want but if you did that it wouldn't make for that great of a comercial. That said, I give this sketch:
The Shag ..heh, cuz the sketch is about STDs...
Oh, Romeo: CCS
Wow...I really loved the beginning, the timing, the characters, "one of those snooty goatees" it was great. I felt like after:
Gustav: I was really worried at this point. A million questions were going through my mind ..Were we going to lose the audience? ..Will this affect the reviews? ..Will the cleaning crew demand extra pay? Important questions.
the dialogue just wasn't to the same caliber as it was in the beginning. Plus the line about blood squirting on her being like ecstacy was gross. But then the last line was great. So, over all I laughed aloud a few times, you have a gift for quirkie characters, which I really like. Thus I give this:
A Mohawk
I will now be going to choir and come back for Women's Issues and the rest! Later
