Author: Grazzt [ Edit | View ]
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Date Posted: 12:28:58 10/22/02 Tue
1)HE PLAYS CAR HOCKEY
Okay, you are a responsible citizen of Metropolis. You have a nice job, you pay your taxes, and you recently bought a new car. A nice Lexus in fact. Your driving around, and you see something in a store window that you want. You pull over and park, totally sure that your car will be there when you get back. Upon leaving the store, you see Superman in a fierce battle with another generic monster. Suddenly, Superman flies over, picks up that nice Lexus of yours, and chucks it at the monster! The car, demolished, the monster, unscathed.
Superman has a nasty habit of finding things on the street and throwing them around. There is no insurance policy in the world that is gonna cover that!
2)HIS HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION
So, you want more proof do you? Fine, how's this - Superman never went to college. He graduated high school, and went right off to Metropolis. How smart can this guy be?
3)HIS QUEST OVER LOIS
How long can a guy quest over a woman, and never make a move?!?!?!? He has wanted her for about 40 years now, and has only recently gotten married to her! What a complete chicken! How hard is it to say "I like you."
4)THE SUPER PETS
How am I expected to give credit to a comic book that spawned such characters as Zippo the SuperMonkey? Yep, that's right, a super monkey. But it didn't end there, oh no. The total of his super pets include a cat, dog, and even a horse!
5)HIS "SECRET" IDENTITY
Try something for me. Go to your school, place of work, or just go say hi to someone you know. Before you do this, slick your hair back and wear something rather bright. See if they recognize you. I'm betting they will. Why in the world does Supes think that just because he messes up his hair and takes off his glasses, that no one will recognize him? That is just sheer idiocy.
6)HIS ORIGIN
Do you really think that coming from the red sun of Krypton to the yellow sun of Earth is gonna give you anything more than an annoying skin rash? Oooo, the light rays are different colors! Ooooo
7)THE VILLIANS
You would think that these guys would get a clue! Who is writing these books? If you saw Superman, would you shoot at him?!?!?!? That is just plain stupid.
8)HIS CONSCIENCE
If you had the powers of Superman, could you live with yourself by letting people die while you maintain a secret identity? What is more important, saving people lives, or making no headway in your relationship with Lois?
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