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Subject: I want to die now~~ Author: FAT FAT bolunic [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 23:18:20 07/19/01 Thu Yesterday, i ate four pieces of pizza ... and a lot of food in pizza hut.. Today, i eat Korean BBQ... Wa.....My body is becoming more and more "BALL" shape... i hate my body now... Help me...help me.... Dolly...miss you so much... when you come back, you must not know me due to my Sudden change into FAT FAT bolunic~~ crying...crying... [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Si Fat Lun Author: Fish Ball [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:37:37 07/20/01 Fri Help you, I can ar. Method : You give all the money to me, then I go to eat and eat, haha! then u will not be a fat fat lun, but i will be a fat fish ball O yesterday I ate an big lunch also, then have a big big mango,....o!!! felt so full At night, I went to have a seafood buffet ar, so delicious ar, and the seafood are so fresh ar, then i ate and ate, hoho!!! And ate many desserts, wah!!! This week , make the stomach be bigger, then i can eat more next week, hoho!!! ^x^

[> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: Anne [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:15:49 01/29/04 Thu >Help you, I can ar. >Method : >You give all the money to me, then I go to eat and >eat, haha! >then u will not be a fat fat lun, but i will be a fat >fish ball > >O yesterday I ate an big lunch also, then have a big >big mango,....o!!! >felt so full > >At night, I went to have a seafood buffet ar, so >delicious ar, and the seafood are so fresh ar, then i >ate and ate, hoho!!! And ate many desserts, wah!!! > >This week , make the stomach be bigger, then i can eat >more next week, hoho!!! ^x^ WHAT IS EVEYONES PROBLEM DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO LIVE ANYMORE ! HELLO YOU ALL NEED TO ENJOY FOOD AND STOP TELLING YOURSELVES YOUR FAT WHAT THE HELL GET A CLUE ENJOY LIFE PEACE OUT LOVE YAS BYEBYE IF YOU NEED A GOOD DIET PLAN, CALL ME AT 1-800-LOSE WEIGHT NOW AND RECIEVE A SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF A FREE EXTRA LARGE PIZZA AT PAPA JOHN'S. BYE FOR NOW HAVE FUN!!

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: sooofat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:22:57 04/07/04 Wed >>Help you, I can ar. >>Method : >>You give all the money to me, then I go to eat and >>eat, haha! >>then u will not be a fat fat lun, but i will be a fat >>fish ball >> >>O yesterday I ate an big lunch also, then have a big >>big mango,....o!!! >>felt so full >> >>At night, I went to have a seafood buffet ar, so >>delicious ar, and the seafood are so fresh ar, then i >>ate and ate, hoho!!! And ate many desserts, wah!!! >> >>This week , make the stomach be bigger, then i can eat >>more next week, hoho!!! ^x^ >WHAT IS EVEYONES PROBLEM DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO LIVE >ANYMORE ! HELLO YOU ALL NEED TO ENJOY FOOD AND STOP >TELLING YOURSELVES YOUR FAT WHAT THE HELL GET A CLUE >ENJOY LIFE PEACE OUT LOVE YAS BYEBYE >IF YOU NEED A GOOD DIET PLAN, CALL ME AT 1-800-LOSE >WEIGHT NOW AND RECIEVE A SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF >A FREE EXTRA LARGE PIZZA AT PAPA JOHN'S. >BYE FOR NOW HAVE FUN!! you obviously don't know or you just don't care. people don't do this because they feel sorry for them selves it is a disease, so how the hell did you get to this website if you were not feeling the same stop denying and get with it.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: maria [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 02:14:40 04/30/04 Fri >>Help you, I can ar. >>Method : >>You give all the money to me, then I go to eat and >>eat, haha! >>then u will not be a fat fat lun, but i will be a fat >>fish ball >> >>O yesterday I ate an big lunch also, then have a big >>big mango,....o!!! >>felt so full >> >>At night, I went to have a seafood buffet ar, so >>delicious ar, and the seafood are so fresh ar, then i >>ate and ate, hoho!!! And ate many desserts, wah!!! >> >>This week , make the stomach be bigger, then i can eat >>more next week, hoho!!! ^x^ >WHAT IS EVEYONES PROBLEM DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO LIVE >ANYMORE ! HELLO YOU ALL NEED TO ENJOY FOOD AND STOP >TELLING YOURSELVES YOUR FAT WHAT THE HELL GET A CLUE >ENJOY LIFE PEACE OUT LOVE YAS BYEBYE >IF YOU NEED A GOOD DIET PLAN, CALL ME AT 1-800-LOSE >WEIGHT NOW AND RECIEVE A SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF >A FREE EXTRA LARGE PIZZA AT PAPA JOHN'S. >i to eat alot too

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: noah [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 02:17:34 04/30/04 Fri >>Help you, I can ar. >>Method : >>You give all the money to me, then I go to eat and >>eat, haha! >>then u will not be a fat fat lun, but i will be a fat >>fish ball >> >>O yesterday I ate an big lunch also, then have a big >>big mango,....o!!! >>felt so full >> >>At night, I went to have a seafood buffet ar, so >>delicious ar, and the seafood are so fresh ar, then i >>ate and ate, hoho!!! And ate many desserts, wah!!! >> >>This week , make the stomach be bigger, then i can eat >>more next week, hoho!!! ^x^ >WHAT IS EVEYONES PROBLEM DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO LIVE >ANYMORE ! HELLO YOU ALL NEED TO ENJOY FOOD AND STOP >TELLING YOURSELVES YOUR FAT WHAT THE HELL GET A CLUE >ENJOY LIFE PEACE OUT LOVE YAS BYEBYE >IF YOU NEED A GOOD DIET PLAN, CALL ME AT 1-800-LOSE >WEIGHT NOW AND RECIEVE A SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF >A FREE EXTRA LARGE PIZZA AT PAPA JOHN'S. >i eat too much every day and i look like a really fat ass

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: Brandon [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:36:26 05/31/04 Mon You all need to get up and get out!! I bet i eat twice as much as most of you and i am thin and in shape. HOW YOU ASK?? I dont eat then sleep, then sit on my butt. I Eat, and go to the GYM, i eat then i go for a RUN, You people are just a bunch of lazy cusses. STOP BEING LAZY AND YOU MIGHT NOT BE A COW! Thats all.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: Mishele [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:58:18 06/26/04 Sat >You all need to get up and get out!! I bet i eat twice >as much as most of you and i am thin and in shape. >HOW YOU ASK?? I dont eat then sleep, then sit on my >butt. I Eat, and go to the GYM, i eat then i go for a >RUN, You people are just a bunch of lazy cusses. STOP >BEING LAZY AND YOU MIGHT NOT BE A COW! Thats all. And you need to get a life!!! Not all people who are overweight are lazy. some work a job which has them on the go, unable to sit for more than a few minutes and working 50+ hours with no extra pay. Some folks have medical conditions which cause the weight gain (thyroid problems) or mental conditions and have to take drugs which cause the weight gain (like anti-depressants). Quit being so narrow minded and insensitive. Also, I find it hard to believe that you are so perfect in your exercise regimen...

[> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: jbar [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:41:28 04/29/04 Thu If food is keeping you alive, well then eat. In the long run, it may make things worse. Some people may care about you, but most people don't. God does not exist, stop blaming him. You have more control than you think. I think if you all don't like your lives or the people in your lives, you need to reinvent yourselves. Move away from everyone. Change your names. Start working out. Do something drastic. You might find that nothing works, just keep on trying something new. Don't give up and die. This is your only chance at life. There is no wonderful relaxing afterlife. If you die you won't feel better. You can make life anything you want it to be. Sometimes it's just really hard. If you all really wanted to die, you'd be dead. Stop trying to die. If you don't like yourselves, try something hard, like living. There is love in the world. I know you can find some. Or maybe you can make some.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: Fireweed [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:07:56 05/11/04 Tue >If food is keeping you alive, well then eat. In the >long run, it may make things worse. Some people may >care about you, but most people don't. God does not >exist, stop blaming him. You have more control than >you think. I think if you all don't like your lives >or the people in your lives, you need to reinvent >yourselves. Move away from everyone. Change your >names. Start working out. Do something drastic. You >might find that nothing works, just keep on trying >something new. Don't give up and die. This is your >only chance at life. There is no wonderful relaxing >afterlife. If you die you won't feel better. You can >make life anything you want it to be. Sometimes it's >just really hard. If you all really wanted to die, >you'd be dead. Stop trying to die. If you don't like >yourselves, try something hard, like living. There is >love in the world. I know you can find some. Or >maybe you can make some. OK you little freaks, Keep eating, as matter of fact you should eat and eat and then just like the greeks of old time check yourself into a vomitorium and up chuck the chow and go back for more! Have fun you fucked up fat chicks!

[> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: calvin clien [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:59:01 05/01/04 Sat your fat kill yourself

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: la la boy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:50:57 05/10/04 Mon Learn how to spell "your" correctly, jackass.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Si Fat Lun Author: Fireweed [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:14:30 05/11/04 Tue >your fat kill yourself Advertise in the porn rags under the title "find a fold and fuck it". Yes a guy will stick his cock into your fat overlap and he'll lube up and then squirt from the head of his cock all over your fat ass fugly body. Seriously do the rest of us who like ourselves a huge fat enormous favor and rid of us of your presence, you take up too many of the planets resources anyway.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Ar Lui~ [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:09:31 07/20/01 Fri haha... i think u wont eat more then me la..hahaha..... ^^; u know, i also dun want ar..... but when i eat more.... --> more easy to get hungry... --> eat even more.... --> ...... --> .............. --> q( ^_^ )p <-- fat like this..... i think i dun tell u all what i ate lar..... haha..... coz ......really so many ar.... ^^;

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: tha death of life [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:24:15 09/17/04 Fri >my life aint shit god does not care never cared

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: dio [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:38:47 10/01/04 Fri >haha... >i think u wont eat more then me la..hahaha..... ^^; >u know, i also dun want ar..... >but when i eat more.... >--> more easy to get hungry... >--> eat even more.... >--> ...... >--> .............. >--> q( ^_^ )p <-- fat like this..... >i think i dun tell u all what i ate lar..... >haha..... coz ......really so many ar.... ^^; i want to die because heaven has to be better than earth the question is should i take what i created with me

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: dolly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:23:22 07/20/01 Fri > dear lun, haha, you are very ball now? then i buy you some good food from here sin, haha i have to walk for at least 30 mins everyday...but it seems that i do not lose my weight wor.....;p i will get on the plane here on sat 9:30 p.m.and arrive in hong kong at 6:00 p.m. sun ??(hk time) 13 hours flight ar!!! miss you and see you soon! dolly . Yesterday, i ate four pieces of pizza ... >and a lot of food in pizza hut.. >Today, i eat Korean BBQ... > >Wa.....My body is becoming more and more "BALL" >shape... >i hate my body now... >Help me...help me.... > >Dolly...miss you so much... >when you come back, you must not know me due to my >Sudden change into FAT FAT bolunic~~ >crying...crying...

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: blah [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:15:53 03/15/04 Mon if you wanted to die you wouldnt be on the computer

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: blurh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:49:08 04/15/04 Thu >if you wanted to die you wouldnt be on the computer >but there's always the chance that there's someone there that cares, and sees our distress, but there will come a time when enough is enough and we'll no longer be at our computers. Until then we will hope...

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: me [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:20:46 05/21/04 Fri >if you wanted to die you wouldnt be on the computer im cft walking alone shrinks muscle u need to use weights, walking is for the heart not fat loss.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: go fuck yourself [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:06:57 10/22/04 Fri >> > > >dear lun, >haha, you are very ball now? >then i buy you some good food from here sin, haha >i have to walk for at least 30 mins everyday...but it >seems that i do not lose my weight wor.....;p >i will get on the plane here on sat 9:30 p.m.and >arrive in hong kong at 6:00 p.m. sun ??(hk time) >13 hours flight ar!!! >miss you and see you soon! >dolly . > > > > > > > >Yesterday, i ate four pieces of pizza ... >>and a lot of food in pizza hut.. >>Today, i eat Korean BBQ... >> >>Wa.....My body is becoming more and more "BALL" >>shape... >>i hate my body now... >>Help me...help me.... >> >>Dolly...miss you so much... >>when you come back, you must not know me due to my >>Sudden change into FAT FAT bolunic~~ >>crying...crying... my life sucks. it has for years. i've been on medication and that doesn't help. i'm in my late 40's, lost my job, i haven't been in a relationship for years and don't expect any miracles to haven't anytime soon. i don't like pain and i would like to do it with sleeping pills. my mission is to find the pills and take them or to get so bad without my medication that i can do it sooner.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: pat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:42:47 02/04/04 Wed >There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, Help me die

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: betsy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:05:55 03/13/04 Sat >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many times and only ended up in hospitals.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Kristi [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:36:03 06/18/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont really have any friends either to talk to.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: truus [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:32:49 08/19/04 Thu >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >really have any friends either to talk to.

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: rem [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:50:38 09/17/04 Fri >>>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but >I'm >>>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >>life, >>>>Help me die >>>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried >many >>>times and only ended up in hospitals. >> >>I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >>me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >>car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >>happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >>really have any friends either to talk to. try 3000 miles and then left with no money no car and no job

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Barb [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:30:13 10/13/04 Wed I am in a similar situation, the money is running out, my separated husband isn't helping me. I put myself through Real Estate school...now need that money, had to quit that. Can't find a decent job, my dad died last year the same day I had a major car accident because someone slipped me a mickey, ended up with a DWI, lost my summertime job I had for 9 years due to Federal Veteran Preference....yep, I understand!>>>>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but >>I'm >>>>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >>>life, >>>>>Help me die >>>>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried >>many >>>>times and only ended up in hospitals. >>> >>>I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >>>me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >>>car was repossesed, I really dont know what else >could >>>happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >>>really have any friends either to talk to. >try 3000 miles and then left with no money no car and >no job

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Yuri Binder [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:54:00 09/18/04 Sat >>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - you will see. Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created you and make your goul in life. Millions of people will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! Love you in Christ Jesus, Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gar [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:34:43 09/19/04 Sun >>>>>>Jesus will not visit you. You act as if Jesus will magically appear before you and actually talk with you. Guess what, he won't. I believe in Jesus, but life is a test and the tester does not give the answers; they are for the student to find. By keeping yourself alive, you YOURSELF may learn things about life and God and what brings you happiness. Perhaps you have not reached that stage yet, but that does not mean that you should just give up. Finding yourself and finding what makes you happy means trying NEW THINGS, and you can't try new things when you're dead. And you may say that death would be a new experience, well, yes, indeed death is a new experience but it is one we are all destined for eventually so why not try to figure out what NEW THINGS ON THE WORLD OF THE LIVING MAKE YOU HAPPY FIRST afterall life is so short. I'm sure many jump off a building and halfway down say "what the hell was I thinking" just before their head hits the pavement. There's alot more to learn in life than that one final lesson. So stay alive. Find something that makes you happy. Believe in God yes, but don't think God is some instant magic cure all that will help you - only you can help you because God has given you this life to live under your own freewill to find yourself. Thus, you should live because the future may be brighter than the past; and you have the freewill to decide what you want to do. There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gar [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:38:40 09/19/04 Sun >>>>>>Jesus will not visit you. You act as if Jesus will magically appear before you and actually talk with you. Guess what, he won't. I believe in Jesus, but life is a test and the tester does not give the answers; they are for the student to find. By keeping yourself alive, you YOURSELF may learn things about life and God and what brings you happiness. Perhaps you have not reached that stage yet, but that does not mean that you should just give up. Finding yourself and finding what makes you happy means trying NEW THINGS, and you can't try new things when you're dead. And you may say that death would be a new experience, well, yes, indeed death is a new experience but it is one we are all destined for eventually so why not try to figure out what NEW THINGS ON THE WORLD OF THE LIVING MAKE YOU HAPPY FIRST afterall life is so short. I'm sure many jump off a building and halfway down say "what the hell was I thinking" just before their head hits the pavement. There's alot more to learn in life than that one final lesson. So stay alive. Find something that makes you happy. Believe in God yes, but don't think God is some instant magic cure all that will help you - only you can help you because God has given you this life to live under your own freewill to find yourself. Thus, you should live because the future may be brighter than the past; and you have the freewill to decide what you want to do. There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: JUST ME [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:44:26 09/19/04 Sun >i HAVE CALLED ON HIM MANY TIME BUT HE NEVER ANSWERS OR TALKS BACK>>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: lestat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:54:07 09/22/04 Wed how fucking dare you tell this person that jesus will save them, are you mad. Jesus hasn't fucking saved anybody, he is a mythical character like all the other gods. People have a right to die even if they can't bring themselves to take their own life. Have you ever tried to kill yourself? its not that fucking easy. To all you people out there that want to die I say go for it whats the worst that awaits you? All these christian wankers say you'll go to hell right, well how does that differ from your life at the moment. We all gotta die sometime at least let it be your way nobody elses. And for all you fucks that want to hekkle this opinion suck my motherfucking dick

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Kris [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:41:16 10/21/04 Thu If I do heckle you, can I suck your dick? >how fucking dare you tell this person that jesus will >save them, are you mad. Jesus hasn't fucking saved >anybody, he is a mythical character like all the other >gods. People have a right to die even if they can't >bring themselves to take their own life. Have you ever >tried to kill yourself? its not that fucking easy. To >all you people out there that want to die I say go for >it whats the worst that awaits you? All these >christian wankers say you'll go to hell right, well >how does that differ from your life at the moment. We >all gotta die sometime at least let it be your way >nobody elses. And for all you fucks that want to >hekkle this opinion suck my motherfucking dick

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: FUCKHEAD [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:38:56 11/05/04 Fri >how fucking dare you tell this person that jesus will >save them, are you mad. Jesus hasn't fucking saved >anybody, he is a mythical character like all the other >gods. People have a right to die even if they can't >bring themselves to take their own life. Have you ever >tried to kill yourself? its not that fucking easy. To >all you people out there that want to die I say go for >it whats the worst that awaits you? All these >christian wankers say you'll go to hell right, well >how does that differ from your life at the moment. We >all gotta die sometime at least let it be your way >nobody elses. And for all you fucks that want to >hekkle this opinion suck my motherfucking dick AMEN RIGHT THE FUCK ON!

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Joe [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:57:42 11/06/04 Sat >I agree with you totally. Will someone please tell me how to end my life! I seriously want to know. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to shoot myself. I just want a clean, certain death. If someone knows a reliable way to end this suffering please, please let me know. Please, please I beg of you. how fucking dare you tell this person that jesus will >save them, are you mad. Jesus hasn't fucking saved >anybody, he is a mythical character like all the other >gods. People have a right to die even if they can't >bring themselves to take their own life. Have you ever >tried to kill yourself? its not that fucking easy. To >all you people out there that want to die I say go for >it whats the worst that awaits you? All these >christian wankers say you'll go to hell right, well >how does that differ from your life at the moment. We >all gotta die sometime at least let it be your way >nobody elses. And for all you fucks that want to >hekkle this opinion suck my motherfucking dick

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Person [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:19:09 10/28/04 Thu God is cool, but you seem a little to excited

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: gee [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:14:12 11/01/04 Mon wtf. fuck off. i've tried that & all that's gotten me is more pain. >>>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Marrow [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:07:31 11/01/04 Mon >>>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY Jesus is just a fairy tale. Even if he did exist he would just be anouther dead soul woundering around.

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: fuckhead [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:37:04 11/05/04 Fri >>>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT?

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: dawn [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:47:04 11/05/04 Fri >>>>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >>Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >>love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >>can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >>talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >>yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >>all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >>now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >>you will see. >>Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >>you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >>will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >>Love you in Christ Jesus, >>Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY >YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT?

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jpp [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:21:42 11/07/04 Sun >>>>>>There is a reason to stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Do not kill yourselve! I know - there is a perfect >love... and HIS NAME IS JESUS. I found HIM and you too >can find HIM. He is SOOOOOO REAAAAAAAL!!!! You can >talk to HIM, you can hug Him, you can express all >yourselve to Him and He will UNDERSTAND all your pain, >all your sufferings. Just try. Close your eyes right >now and call HIM into your life. He will visit you - >you will see. >Please stay alive, find out the reason why He created >you and make your goul in life. Millions of people >will become happy as you fulfill your destiny!! >Love you in Christ Jesus, >Pastor Yuri Binder, NY, NY

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Kelli [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:13:43 09/07/04 Tue >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >really have any friends either to talk to. I feel that way everyday and i don't have anyone to talk to because no one understands they think it's stuipd but i'll talk to you if you want someone to talk to.

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Nick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:53:37 10/26/04 Tue >>>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but >I'm >>>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >>life, >>>>Help me die >>>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried >many >>>times and only ended up in hospitals. >> >>I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >>me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >>car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >>happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >>really have any friends either to talk to. > >I feel that way everyday and i don't have anyone to >talk to because no one understands they think it's >stuipd but i'll talk to you if you want someone to >talk to. Use a Walther p99 40 cal, it should do the trick!

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Cath [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:49:00 11/06/04 Sat Do you not think that by you not dieing in the car crash meant it's not your turn

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: James V. [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:09:50 09/16/04 Thu You have a lot to live for! Don't give up! Keep smiling, James V. >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >really have any friends either to talk to.

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: rem [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:52:28 09/17/04 Fri >You have a lot to live for! Don't give up! > >Keep smiling, >James V. > >>>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but >I'm >>>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >>life, >>>>Help me die >>>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried >many >>>times and only ended up in hospitals. >> >>I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >>me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >>car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >>happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >>really have any friends either to talk to. I need a friend, now!

[> [> [> [> Subject: i want to kill my self Author: nick eagles 911 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:38:17 10/07/04 Thu >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to kill my self >>>but i have to much to live for. I tried to die by taken pills . >>>. I hate my life i want to take it. > >>>Help me die >>I feel like im not wanted where i am in life, I really want to die; >>but i only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, nothing but one thing is keeping me do it my girlfriend . >, I dont have any friends either to talk to.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Jose [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:48:11 10/08/04 Fri Its funny, but I don't feel suicidal, I think I'm already dead. I don't feel angry anymore, just the calmness of someone who is empty and tired. I have friends to talk to, but there nothing to say except that I wish I wasn't the person that I am . I wish my father could be proud of me one time and not think that I 'm some kind of demented waste of life. I wish that I wasn't such a dissapointment. I wish I still had faith, and that I could feel the presence of God,or someone . I wish that there was someone with me right now who could love me because they chose to not because of some obligation. I wish I could feel something more than the numbness that has become my new home. I wish that I didn't have my memory. That I woke up tomorrow and nothing was real. I wish I could mentally stop my heart from beating, why can't someone put me out of my misery, why do I get to live , me , a worthless empty shell, while so many good people die. How can this not be hell? how can I fear death when this is hell. When I was born, iwas very sick, at about six weeks I almost died, I always felt like maybe I was supposed to, maybe something got mixed up and I lived instead, maybe God forgot about me, maybe He doesn't know I'm still alive . I wish I didn't hate my father, I wish I could forgive him, But something tells me that we'll never be close , that whatever happened to him in his young life, whatever hardships that he went through, his bitterness has completely consumed him. I think that is what's happening to me now . I wonder if today was my last day, would I know it, could I tell

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jim [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:45:58 10/12/04 Tue >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >really have any friends either to talk to. i feel the same way also, email me if you want to ok,

[> [> [> [> Subject: God.. Author: Mark [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:54:14 10/30/04 Sat Tell me about it.. Im 17..Im supposed to have a life in front of me..Ive taken prozac..it made me worse..I cut myself up..and periodicallybecome extremely depressed. Eevrything productive has something negative to it.Theres no reason to keep living..life sucks..Everyone on this earth stinks..all they do is hurt..death seems better at least for me.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: misplacedh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:49:49 10/30/04 Sat Married for 9 years, wife plotted to leave me and take the children 5 months ago, I got a job out of town, she had her 3rd affair while I was out, got a PFA on me because the county she lives in all you need to get one is to say you are in "fear" of the spouse, she put me in jail when I went to ask why she did it, watched me walk in shackles to the hearing, had me evicted from my house, through this I lost my job, kids cry when they see me and beg me to let them live with me, I tried to hang myself and the cord snapped, can't get a job now, car payment due again, no hope, no help, no salvation except death

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: dark angel [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:48:49 10/31/04 Sun >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >really have any friends either to talk to.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Pam [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:11:35 11/01/04 Mon >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >I feel that way right now, no job, boyfriend abuses >me, bleached hair blonde and it started falling out, >car was repossesed, I really dont know what else could >happen to me. I feel so helpless and alone, I dont >really have any friends either to talk to. I know that you are hurting and I have been and am there too. Life seems so difficult and so maddening sometimes, but I have survived an abusive marriage, more than ten years on my own and a marriage that I thoght would save me, but threatens to kill me.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Alicia Hoffman [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:06:27 11/03/04 Wed I will talk to you. I have been there and done that myself. Life is sometimes a shit sandwitch and sometimes you are forced to take a bite. God has a purpose to your living. I don't know what it is, but there is one. I hurt so bad, I pray for death, but I'm still here. One day at a time. But, listen, we can talk to one another and cry on each others shoulder. It's easy to die, it's the living that is a pain in the ass. Send me a e-mail. Tell me about yourself. Your not alone.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Bob [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:38:08 08/25/04 Wed >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. Hello, I'm going to reply to you, as i've been there. I'm 66, single and live alone.I suffered a stroke at 8:30p.m. one night and was not found until about 9:30 the following morning. A total of 13 hours, with blood being forced into my spinal column by high blood pressure. Some rather amazing things took place during that time. I asked God for help and the almighty responded by sending three angels to me.The first was my guardian angel, that said to me"what would you have me do?" My response was to"find my friend Tom, and put the thought in his mind that i need help. (I was unconcious on my bedroom floor. I'm male 66 y.o. and in very good condition except for the bp. non-smoker/drinker) During the interim, I had a conversation with one of the other two angels. Pointed question "will i recover?" there was a pause, then the reply that "we have looked at your record, and all your life you have done this and this, etc. yes, you will recover. Went on to tell me what i've done with my life. What I was told is coming to pass. Don't end your life, God gave you life. My dad took his own life and it really solved nothing except hurt very much those of us that loved him. I don't know what your problems are, but they are nothing compared to the damage done to those that love you. The hurt will go away. God really does exist and he loves you too. Stay well, get help. Bob

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: STEVEO [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:58:25 09/01/04 Wed >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. there is many ways to take your life but the best way is to suffer through it and go when its your time then u wont have to do it again besides noone fuckin cares anyway so if u do wack yourself there will be onone to care we all go through life and all we have is our few family members and may be some friends if were lucky so we try to do the best by them and then u realize they dont care either

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Louie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:59:47 09/14/04 Tue I think he is right, no one cares, about how you or I or anybody else feels. I have asked may questions and have been given nothing but lies for answers. I was a person that went to church every time the doors were open, and the bible says if you ask you will recieve. Well I ask and got nothing. This only supports the way I feel about God, because if there is one lie in a book then the whole book is fiction. I was a beliver, now I don't, things are still the same, and I have heard the same crap from people, that God will answer in his own time, well it does not say that in the bible I read, so I wonder, do Christians just make up crap to support their beliefs, and just forget about the real truth. I don't know, and I will be honest the only reason I have not killed myself is so my two sons can finish colledge, then I will blow my brains out with the shot gun I bought for this one purpose. I have had to work all my life, and have worked two jobs (88 hours a week) just to make ends meet. So the sooner the get out the sooner I can end it. I am 49 so I know what your going through, and I feel you pain, the only thing I can saay is if you don't have a reason to live then stop, don't screw around do it, and do it right. From what you have said I don't think you want to die, you just want someone to take care of you. If this is true forget it, there is only one person, or thing you can count on, and that is yourself. Take care of your needs and to hell with everone else. >>>>There is nothing to live f or. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. > >there is many ways to take your life but the best way >is to suffer through it and go when its your time then >u wont have to do it again besides noone fuckin cares >anyway so if u do wack yourself there will be onone to >care we all go through life and all we have is our few >family members and may be some friends if were lucky >so we try to do the best by them and then u realize >they dont care either

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gar [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:00:57 09/19/04 Sun >I think he is right, no one cares, about how you or I >or anybody else feels. I have asked may questions and >have been given nothing but lies for answers. I was a >person that went to church every time the doors were >open, and the bible says if you ask you will recieve. >Well I ask and got nothing. This only supports the way >I feel about God, because if there is one lie in a >book then the whole book is fiction. I was a beliver, >now I don't, things are still the same, and I have >heard the same crap from people, that God will answer >in his own time, well it does not say that in the >bible I read, so I wonder, do Christians just make up >crap to support their beliefs, and just forget about >the real truth. I don't know, and I will be honest the >only reason I have not killed myself is so my two sons >can finish colledge, then I will blow my brains out >with the shot gun I bought for this one purpose. I >have had to work all my life, and have worked two jobs >(88 hours a week) just to make ends meet. So the >sooner the get out the sooner I can end it. I am 49 so >I know what your going through, and I feel you pain, >the only thing I can saay is if you don't have a >reason to live then stop, don't screw around do it, >and do it right. From what you have said I don't think >you want to die, you just want someone to take care of >you. If this is true forget it, there is only one >person, or thing you can count on, and that is >yourself. Take care of your needs and to hell with >everone else. -----------You say that you can only rely on yourself and to only take care of yourself and to hell with everyone else, but yet you say you are living for your children right now so that does not seem to be the case. You take care of others and they are relying on you so your life isn't worthless. If you hate your life and hate working 88 hours a week get a new fucking job. Quit complaining and get a new damn job perhaps then you won't kill yourself; Also go on a vacation. You may say you can't afford it, but hell you probably have some old shit you can sell out of your belongings and just bum around for awhile. If you work too many hours or no hours for too long, you are bound to destroy yourself, so try to find a job that pays enough on 40 hours a week. If you can't pay your bills based on that then perhaps you need to downsize your house and possessions and worry more about your own physical and spiritual help and fun than with working 88 hours a week to maintain paying all those bills. If it's your children's education that is causing you to have to work so many hours, then make your kids get loans and pay back their loans when they get a job or make your kids go to a public university where the government pays for 80% of the tuition. Many of the public universities are very good. E.g. University of Texas, University of Florida, University of Michigan. Chill out, work less, go on vacation, sell unwanted things, quit paying for shit your kids can pay for, and get a new job. Change = a reason to live. As far as God goes, studies show that prayers for people who don't even know they are being prayed for help people heal about 10% faster than the UNPRAYED FOR group but that is about it. Thus, I think that God might help a tiny little bit every once in awhile but that is it. He may not help at all, perhaps the only blessing he has given you is free will and life, but these two blessings are worth exploring further rather than wasting your life working 88 hours a week at jobs you obviously don't enjoy. By the way, I doubt your kids give a shit about how many hours you work as compared to how much love you show them. If you work alot of hours but treat you kids like shit, they will not love you, but if you work a few hours, but treat your kids with alot of love they will love you. > > > >>>>>There is nothing to live f >or. I want to die but I'm >>>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >>life, >>>>Help me die >>>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried >many >>>times and only ended up in hospitals. >> >>there is many ways to take your life but the best way >>is to suffer through it and go when its your time then >>u wont have to do it again besides noone fuckin cares >>anyway so if u do wack yourself there will be onone to >>care we all go through life and all we have is our few >>family members and may be some friends if were lucky >>so we try to do the best by them and then u realize >>they dont care either

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Sara [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:39:01 09/02/04 Thu hey. I know how you feel. I go through that all the time. Here's a way to try buy gel tablets from tylenol and take all 20 at the sa,e time right before bed

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: gee [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:17:42 11/01/04 Mon that doesn't seem like enough.. i wanna succeed. living afterwards is probably worse than dead. >hey. I know how you feel. I go through that all the >time. Here's a way to try buy gel tablets from tylenol >and take all 20 at the sa,e time right before bed

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: elizabeth grinstead [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:04:59 09/10/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. my life is a mess. my husband is been in the hospital 4 times in less than a year. i have an adult son with cerbal palsey , my mother died and my dog of 17yrs which i loved with all my heart. i have lost many # only to put them back on when i go into total depression. i need help as much as you do. my roof is leaking in three places and i do not have 6,000.00 to fix the problem. i,am sorry to adress my problems to you. i need someome to talk to. please help me to find my way back. elizabeth.g.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: rem [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:56:05 09/17/04 Fri >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. >my life is a mess. my husband is been in the hospital >4 times in less than a year. i have an adult son with >cerbal palsey , my mother died and my dog of 17yrs >which i loved with all my heart. i have lost many # >only to put them back on when i go into total >depression. i need help as much as you do. my roof is >leaking in three places and i do not have 6,000.00 to >fix the problem. i,am sorry to adress my problems to >you. i need someome to talk to. please help me to find >my way back. elizabeth.g. hello elizabeth

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jamrd [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:21:44 09/18/04 Sat I can dig it. Life sucks. Everyone wants to take advantage of you and i am tired of getting high to escape from the pain. I work and built a succesful business, I can go anywhere I want and buy whatever but since no one out there can relate to me i would rather be outta here. So I want to be dead or move to London.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: tim [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:36:55 10/02/04 Sat >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. i lost a child got burned in a fire i look like shit cant use my hands do to burnes no money to maney bills i cant pay no one will help it seems to go on and on why me why my life just let me die lord i cant take no more

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: tim [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:38:00 10/02/04 Sat >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I hate my life, >>>Help me die >>I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >>times and only ended up in hospitals. >i lost a child got burned in a fire i look like shit >cant use my hands do to burnes no money to maney bills >i cant pay no one will help it seems to go on and on >why me why my life just let me die lord i cant take no >more

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Lanceter [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:25:15 10/05/04 Tue Well to introduce myself my names lance, 16 and im a guy...well anyways...I'm just so sick of all this bullshit goin on, and nothing seems to be getting better. When it does, it gets two times worse. I try to be happy but I fall apart and end up fucking cutting myself..I just wish things would get better! I don't want a miserable and dying family, I don't want to feel so misplaced from everyone, I want to get my grades up, And I'm sick of being so damn lonely. And yesterday I found out my brother might have a fucking brain tumor..What's next? My cat gets sick and dies? Like I would try to think positive but everytime I do I just get smacked in the face by fate and I hate it! I just want to be happy for once in my life. Even as a kid I wasnt happy. I was raped,almost killed by accident, everyone wanted to stay away from me, I was bullied, I moved around so much and lost whatever true friends I have. Now things just seem to keep goin downwards and I don't know what to do. I can't tell my mom, cause she would break down and her hearts too fragile, nor any of my family cause they'll tell her. And I can't die cause I don't want my family to be hurt, but I want to give up and call it quits now but jeez I just can't take this anymore! I wanna fucking break down and cry I hate my life soooo much, god, being a teen sucks ass...

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: marsh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:34:32 10/08/04 Fri I know how all of you feel, its hard living with depression and feeling like there is nothing better out there and the only other option is the end of all suffering which is death. I know that feelings we all have when we are like this is dispair, some dont have any feeling at all and thats why they want to end it, I have been through all this as well, there is a light at the end of this tunnel, we cant do anything but look up from here because it cant get any lower right,just reach out to someone and keep reaching until someone grabs your hand, youve come thus far and have reached out by typing your message right, well im reaching back, grab my hand and let me help you. email me mshaw3893@yahoo.com, i will do what i can to help you. im a great listener if thats all you need. marsha

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Alison [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:25:01 10/09/04 Sat >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. I know exactly how you all feel. I've been depressed since I was very young. I actually remember contemplating suicide when I was 8 and many more times up until now. I was sexually abused as a child, raised by cold parents who hardly talked to me, nevermind encouraged me or loved me, i was beat up at home... Despite the emotional and physical abuse at home, I was physically and emotionally abused at school too because we didn't have money. I've been poor all my life. Now I'm 20 and I can't take it anymore. I feel so alone. I've never had a boyfriend because I don't know how to love anything since I've never been loved, I feel ugly all the time and I'm going bald. It's even better when your own parents call you ugly all the time. I felt depressed for so long, that now I feel nothing. I feel dead inside. I hate waking up in the mornings. I sorta believe in God and that's probably the reason I'm still alive today. But i always wonder what I did to deserve any of this. To sum things up, I'm a pretty bad case. I really want to kill myself.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: John [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:45:35 10/10/04 Sun Hello, I know that you guys are going through a rough time right now. I want you to know that there are reasons to live. I have been through rought times myself. I disagree that no one cares. The first thing you have to do is start caring for other people. If you do that then we can change this irrational belief that no one cares. You must start putting others before yourself. Poeple are selfish. Most were raised that way...and even if you werent it is human nature to take care of yourself first and screw everyone else. If any of you need a real live person that cares...send me an email... I will be happy to give a phone number you can call me at. Any time day or night. I will listen. I wont judge. I have done many things I am not proud of. People are not perfect. I am not one of those religious advertisers....just someone like yourself that wont promise anything...but I will try to help if I can. I am just another pserson that cares. Please be safe. John

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: emcsqrd [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:11:51 10/10/04 Sun Dudes b4 you go steal some money and go on a mega vacation... try to get some credit cards and run them up have a great time... If your actually willing to die then without and I repeat without hurtin anyone rob a bank maybe with some green in the pocket things will be better dont just knife yourself without tryin to better your situation take a risk 1st whats the worst thatll happen your get arrested.. legal sys wont keep ya long and your gonna do yourself in anyways... bottom line b4 you take yourselves out check out the pllanet and have some fun.... try relocating to the UK and check out things over there.. All you know is where you are... tell me what do you have to lose.. Are you all in a race to die... ready set boom ok your dead now what. All better i doubt it... Go get some FUUUUUN but do not hurt anyone in the process unless of course its you then it doesnt matter anyway right.... cya in the next life and come up to me there and let me know if you followed this tip and how ytou made out..lata

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: emcsqrd [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:14:02 10/10/04 Sun >Dudes b4 you go steal some money and go on a mega >vacation... try to get some credit cards and run them >up have a great time... If your actually willing to >die then without and I repeat without hurtin anyone >rob a bank maybe with some green in the pocket things >will be better dont just knife yourself without tryin >to better your situation take a risk 1st whats the >worst thatll happen your get arrested.. legal sys wont >keep ya long and your gonna do yourself in anyways... >bottom line b4 you take yourselves out check out the >pllanet and have some fun.... try relocating to the UK >and check out things over there.. All you know is >where you are... tell me what do you have to lose.. >Are you all in a race to die... ready set boom ok your >dead now what. All better i doubt it... Go get some >FUUUUUN but do not hurt anyone in the process unless >of course its you then it doesnt matter anyway >right.... cya in the next life and come up to me there >and let me know if you followed this tip and how ytou >made out..lata

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Avan [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:05:52 10/11/04 Mon Hey Yall, My Name is Avan And i Want to Die, I Always Wanted Since I Was a 6 Years Old Lil Boy With the Ability of understand What was going on, the Shit Talkaz arround, and how i was never somebody to nobody there was Always somenthing or somebody 1st, anyway... Im 23 years old Now, And Lemme Tell u Sumttin. Things Are not Getting better and im afraid when it get(if that ever happends) it will be too late for me, i mean it Wont be The Same... I want to Die now days I just Wait for it, i Think i dont Deserve This maybe noone of Us Does, Im a Good person i Do Everything for my Friends, my fam, when i have/had them, With all the ppl I love, but somenthing i know fo sho is that Evrybody Will leave me Alone sooner or later, they did it b4, so Rite now thats How i Feel, Alone... U know I Love Good so much and im not Afraid to say it, church is prolly the only safe place i have to go besides the darkness of my room, it makes me feel fine in pace and Always saying thanx for the few lil things that may or may not keep me here, sux i cant share that with another person but anyway. I have Hope man And ill Always have it even tho all the shit i been trought all these years, im still here u know, not in the way i wanted yeah, but here anyway. Now look in all those year i coudnt get nothing for me a signal or whatever, a ray of light something that u fight the world to keep alive, everything always fade away just like that, i never could enjoy my life and im paying all the consecuences now... I prob wont put a gun on my head but i wont stop u if u wanna kill me, if u know what i mean. I just goin to take the chance... See im tired to lose everything in front of my eyes, friends, fam and have nothing, im tired of sit here and wait the death, im tired so tired... I Hope u all find an answer and help or whatever u needs i hope u all find god and he appear infont of you they why u think it should appear, in an angel in somebody else in a friendly hand form i think everything's cool, bout me i just hope he know that i have a reason to live f0r, the only and without that then i think is time to say good bye cus there wont be nothing left for me, if i cant live the life the way i wan why cant i die?

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Charles [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:49:06 10/13/04 Wed >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. I completely know how you feel. I'm going through the same shit right now. The only escape i have is drugs and alcohol. I found happiness once and it was love. It lasted only two years and now im back in the gutter. I want to die but am not looking to kill myself. Don't go looking for death...suffer through the pains of life and embrace the happiness when you can...but be happy when death arrives cause living is to suffer and death and love are the only happiness.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jeh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:24:14 10/13/04 Wed I too, am severely depressed. I don't think that religion or intellectual pursuits are a panacea for suicidial idilizations. I have never attempted suicide but have been hospitalized twice for "major depressive" disorder. What keeps me going? The memory of even one day of relief, one day of distraction. I sleep enough to know that death is not the answer, as romantic and conveinant as it may sometimes seem, it is illusory; no different from drugs, dreams or any other method of escape. I have no money, no formal education, no real friends to speak of. I have always been a mal-content, but still I persist. Why? Because although death is certainly an answer it can't be the answer. not yet, anyway

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jeh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:25:19 10/13/04 Wed >I too, am severely depressed. I don't think that >religion or intellectual pursuits are a panacea for >suicidial idilizations. I have never attempted suicide >but have been hospitalized twice for "major >depressive" disorder. What keeps me going? The memory >of even one day of relief, one day of distraction. I >sleep enough to know that death is not the answer, as >romantic and conveinant as it may sometimes seem, it >is illusory; no different from drugs, dreams or any >other method of escape. I have no money, no formal >education, no real friends to speak of. I have always >been a mal-content, but still I persist. >Why? Because although death is certainly an answer it >can't be the answer. not yet, anyway

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jeh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:30:19 10/13/04 Wed >I too, am severely depressed. I don't think that >religion or intellectual pursuits are a panacea for >suicidial idilizations. I have never attempted suicide >but have been hospitalized twice for "major >depressive" disorder. What keeps me going? The memory >of even one day of relief, one day of distraction. I >sleep enough to know that death is not the answer, as >romantic and conveinant as it may sometimes seem, it >is illusory; no different from drugs, dreams or any >other method of escape. I have no money, no formal >education, no real friends to speak of. I have always >been a mal-content, but still I persist. >Why? Because although death is certainly an answer it >can't be the answer. not yet, anyway. Death is lier, a silent and cunning theif that one day will not be capable of elusion. Life anxiety is a lot like death anxiety- we who are stung by it fear the range of our own emotional spectrums, as we feel too much, it is indeed frightening. But there has to be a reason for this capacity for enormous feeling. If we are strong enough to face our own emotional catastrophes, we surely are equipped to help others face their own.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Doug [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:56:48 10/14/04 Thu I've been depressed for a longtime now, probably since highschool, say 10 years ago. Been through a lot of booze and drugs but those only made things worse. Tried the religion thing and it only showed me one thing, that everything is how you look at it. There people out there who aren't worth sh*t and have nothing but they're happy, why? Cause believing in a higher power gives them a better outlook on life. God/Jesus wasn't for me (i just dont buy it) but I realised that I had to make an effort to change and enjoy some basic things, espically things that make me feel better about myself and helps me meet new people. So I went down to the animal shelter and got a dog that looked like I felt. He quite the mangy mutt but as Maxx cleaned-up so did I. I had to walk him which got me out of my appartment, I met new people which helped to reduce my feelings of isolation. All in all I'm still depressed, but life is bearable and sometimes enjoyable. Depression can be very severe espcially if you can't afford help but if you can make sure you talk to a professional. If you can't try to find SOMETHING, ANYTHING you enjoy... I started eating candy again, watching football (never was a fan), and of course good ol' Maxx Goodluck everyone, I know you can do it!

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: murat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:07:47 10/15/04 Fri I want to die like u but wont talk like u.If you decide not to live then go for it,do it.If u have a little hope ýnsýde u cant do it.then u all have hope but ý dont.I did 5 mins.ago.tomorrow the world ýs 1 person less.cya on the other side.1974-2004(04:09 am)

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Ed [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:08:03 10/15/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. Well I have read everything and it has helped me decide......I want to still die and as I type this I just slit my wrist.......Good Bye and Good Luck Allll

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Doug [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:13:04 10/16/04 Sat Wow this is pretty pathetic, I have visions of kids writing this stuff as a joke... pretty sad and utterly moronic. If you're sad get help, there's tonnes of stuff to live for. Shit will get better cause when u hit bottem the only place to go is up. If you want to be a rotting corpse go for it! But don't post it here, no need to drag other people down with you.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: BLAKKHEART [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:45:38 10/17/04 Sun >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. no one knows me but im called always my life as a souless being has grown even more but i was born dead some of us and you know who you are die every breath some of the petty shit you people say i wipe my ass with but you are not alone since birth life has been lifeless and so called loveless by people and my farther GOD my prayers has been joke mail to him but theres no hate but respect so find me in this shithole of pain and deceit i will be the ha...GUY that will understand what your heart sees an the cure is with ME...MPLS,MN I WILL BE HERE FOR THE WEATHER ...BLAKKHEART

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: bbbbb [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:58:49 10/20/04 Wed there is no after life --- when your dead your dead.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Meagan [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:46:17 10/22/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. WHAT MADE YOU LIVE YESTERDAY OR THE DAY BEFORE, OR EVEN TODAY? CHICKEN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KILLING YOUR SELF. A CAR CRASH IS A BIT DRASTIC. I THINK YOU ARE WANTING TO LIVE MORE THAN DIE. YOU WANT ATTENTION AND HELP, PEOPLE THAT WANT TO DIE DO NOT ANNOUNCE THEY ARE ARE GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE. THEY JUST DO IT. GOOD LUCK WISHING YOU WELL TODAY AND TOMORROW

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jimmy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:30:30 10/22/04 Fri "Suicide is not chosen it happens when pain exceeds happness" take my hand i will show you my mind can you keep the pace it's fast so fast die ... die ... die suicide make's it slow stop the mind stop the pain die ... die ... die take my hand let me show how i feel thoughts of death, suicide nothing more then hate die ... die... die stop me now before i die i hate me just let me die suicide ... suicide ... suicide.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: BLAKKHEART [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:18:50 10/23/04 Sat >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die >I feel like you, I really want to die; I've tried many >times and only ended up in hospitals. CALL MY HEART

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Mooloru [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:13:12 10/26/04 Tue My daughters father killed himself recently... Cant say i blame him.. All it takes is that Gut nerve to do it... Only thing now is .... How do I make my little girl understand...

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: chuck [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:04:41 10/28/04 Thu >My daughters father killed himself recently... Cant >say i blame him.. All it takes is that Gut nerve to >do it... > >Only thing now is .... How do I make my little girl >understand... You Don't! Your just haveing a bad time in your life! I know your thinking ok! Shur! You dont know ****! But I do! I have lived with all kinds of **** all my life! You think you got nothing? I got no family, freinds, money,job, drivers licence,car or life? When I go shopping for food pepole look at me like Iam a freek! You don't have to make your little girl understand anything, but the fact that mommy love's her, and will always be there for her!You have more to live for than alot of us! If you have a child you should never give up on life! Your girls need you more now than ever! You have to be strong and BE THERE for them. Some day you will go to your husbands grave with your girls and maybe your grandchildren and you will see that living was the right thing to do, you will think to yourself "wow think of all I would have missed?" As the guy in the movie PAY IT FORWARD said to the woman about to jump off the bridge," Ok then you save my life!" Do you know what he was trying to say? This is it------ My life is ****. I f***** it all up! But if I can save you, If I can turn it around for you, If I can make you see what YOUR life is worth, Then maybe, just maybe Mine will not be a total waste!!

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: chuck [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:07:56 10/28/04 Thu >>My daughters father killed himself recently... Cant >>say i blame him.. All it takes is that Gut nerve to >>do it... >> >>Only thing now is .... How do I make my little girl >>understand... > >You Don't! >Your just haveing a bad time in your life! I know your >thinking ok! Shur! You dont know ****! But I do! I >have lived with all kinds of **** all my life! You >think you got nothing? I got no family, freinds, >money,job, drivers licence,car or life? When I go >shopping for food pepole look at me like Iam a freek! >You don't have to make your little girl understand >anything, but the fact that mommy love's her, and will >always be there for her!You have more to live for than >alot of us! If you have a child you should never give >up on life! Your girls need you more now than ever! >You have to be strong and BE THERE for them. Some day >you will go to your husbands grave with your girls and >maybe your grandchildren and you will see that living >was the right thing to do, you will think to yourself >"wow think of all I would have missed?" As the guy in >the movie PAY IT FORWARD said to the woman about to >jump off the bridge," Ok then you save my life!" Do >you know what he was trying to say? This is it------ >My life is ****. I f***** it all up! But if I can save >you, If I can turn it around for you, If I can make >you see what YOUR life is worth, Then maybe, just >maybe Mine will not be a total waste!!

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jack [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:33:24 10/27/04 Wed >>>I want to die the pain is too much

[> [> [> Subject: help Author: jimmy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:26:01 10/29/04 Fri Dreams, rulers of the night Reminder of the past Forseer of the future. Dreams, bringer of fantasy Bringer of salvation Bringer of joy. Dreams, Reminder of the pain Reminders of the fear Reminders of the past. Dreams, what people dream. But, Why cant I dream? Why Do i not dream of Joy? Why not of Salvation? Why, When I dream, I dream of the fear? I dream of the pain? Why must I dream of the past? Dreams, I haven't had them. No Dreams for me, I refuse to dream, Dreams are not for me.... Why cant I dream? Am I sane? Well, Am I? Is it ok that I laugh at pain? I used to hurt, to cry. Now things that hurt just make me laugh. Am I Sane? Or better yet, Was I ever sane? I search my soul, I find nothing. Search my life, Find nothing. Am I Sane? Why do I laugh at the Pain? Why do I cry with the joy? Surely I cant be sane... Stars in the sky. Numbers that cant be counted. Each could represent a dream, Each one, a hope. One by one, they are born. One by one, they all die. Unaccountable numbers of hopes, Of Dreams. Some shine brighter. Some flair, flicker before they die. Some burn bright, as bright as some desires. But each new hope, each new dream, each new star, There are always more lost hopes, dead dreams, failing stars. In a Sea of unaccountable Stars.... It's just a life... What can i do with it? Can I take it? Can I rule it? Can I change it? I role these things in my mind. I could rule it. I try. I Fail This life cant be chained. I could Change it... I Try, strive. Push. It doesnt change. I Could take it... Hmm, there is a thought. End it. I try. I fail. I come so close. I come close, to taking this life. I fail. What can I do with this life..... This life of mine? Humer What to do? To do when humer doesnt cut it? Why do we enjoy seeing other's pain? Why do we laugh when things arnt funny? I know why i laugh.. It helps eases the pain... Why is it? What is it about other's suffereing that is so funny? I know that i dont laugh. But other's do. Others enjoy it. My pain, your pain. But they dont think it is funny when it is their pain. Ohh sure, i laugh, when it helps eases the pain. But what to do? When the pain is too great? Do i laugh with those who laugh about my pain? What would that help? Pain is too great... But I will continue to laugh... It is the only thing that i can do. Why should we laugh at the pain? The Pain is too great. So I say, lets stand back, have a good laugh, while it still leaves the pain... Im just a Shell of my former self. The things i show other people. They arn't the real me. The things I do around other people. They arn't the real me. I do what I do, So no one will know. So no one will know, Who the real me is. It is better this way. Keep my sarrow to myself. They are my problems, Mine alone. Im a shell of my former self. Mybe one day, I will break this shell. Mybe one day, I will show my self... A Night. Another Night. I made it through this night. I wake up. Still alive. Another night. I go from day to day. Afriad of the nights. A Night, Another Night. Just one more. I wake. Make it through, Through another night. How to Say Goodbye... To a loved one, A friend. How To say Goodbye... To someone who mattered. How To Say Goodbye... To someone who showed you, Showed you who you are. How To Say Goodbye... To a Friend, A friend that gave me memories, Memories of good times. How To Say Goodbye... Words cant express my feelings, My love, My soul. How To Say Goodbye... Why is it impossible to simply say Goodbye? When words arn't enough. That is where I end. Where i get off. Then end of my being. When i cant express myself, Im no longer me. Where the words stop, I stop. How am I to say the things that need to be said? When i cant find the words to say them? Words can be hurtfull but they are me, Who i am. My feelings, emotions, body, soul. When you read my words, You are reading me. So when you flip that last page, Read that last line. Inturpret that last word, You have reached the end of me. I gues this is the end of me... Friends.. Friends lost, No idea why.. You talk, No idea why.. You say hi, They say nothing. Ask them why, They say nothing. Friends lost.. Tell me why, My friend, Why you dont talk, Why you dont listen. Tell me why, My friend, You dont like me, What did i do? My friend.. There is something wrong with the world. People fight over petty stuff. Things that dont matter. Things as petty as name calling. People like to see other's in pain. They get a kick out of it. They get a joy out of it. People like causing pain. They twist a little farther, Just to hurt. They do this to feed their need, need for pain, Get their fix, Fix of a sedistic drug. This drug, sedistic drug, Is one of seeing other's suffer. Everyone does this on one level or another. Why is it that people try to cheer you up, By saying that others have it worse? By saying that your not the only one? By pointing out that your better off? This is a drug, one that is worse then any other. Not because of the people who do it, but the people who are hurt from it. But this drug, it isnt protested. Why? Because most people do it, No matter how little it is, Most people still do it. Why? Is it the feeling of superiority? The feeling that it wasnt you? For this, there are no answers. There is another drug. One that can be just as adductive. But isnt widly used, nor known. This drug, Under-used drug, Is help. Why is it? That people would rather get pleasure, From the pains of others, Then to get pleasure, From helping others? This Drug, sweet, wonderful drug, Is the best drug. Gives you the best feelings. Sure it is harder to use, but the rewards of using it is more then worth it. So why? Why do people choose the pain of others? Why not help? It is much more rewarding. Why? Shadows, I walk among shadows, Never sure of what is next. Is it just my will? Is my suroundings Real? Or just What i make? Can i change my world? If they are but shadows? Shadows of my will? Needs? Wants? Can i just reach out for what i want, Can i just grasp it? Bring it to me? Could it be? That im the onlyone real? That everyone else is nothing more then a filling? To fill the world that i built? If so, Then i walk among shadows. With the Stroke of a brush.. A Artist finishs a work. Completes a world. Finishs a life. Colors a sky. With the stroke of a brush.. The artist finishs a picture. Speaks an unspoken language. Adds feelings where there where none, Emotions to a blank peice of canvas. With the stroke of a brush.. The artist finishes a part of themself. Part of their soul. A soul they poured so much of. With the look of an eye.. The artist realises that their work is incomplete. Who they are isn't finished. With the feel of a touch.. They find the imperfections in the work. The things that only time and effort can fix. With the stroke of a brush.. The Artist continues on their great work.. When dream shatters. When you realise that nothing is what you wanted. When you figure out that your striving for a lost cause. When you lose your hope in something that you wanted. It hurts. When you start to see the cracks, breaking the dream's lining, You cringe. When you start to hear the snapping of the dream, It seers your ears. When you see the now broken image of what was once a smooth surface, You cry. Your dream, the one that has such promise, is falling apart. Bit by bit, you watch as the peices fall off. You are saddened. Little by little, the peices shatter on the floor like peices of broken glass. Your heart-broken. Peice by peice, everything falls apart. Your hopes are dashed. All you can do, is stand by and watch as something you loved, strived for, dreamed of and longed for drifts away and shatters... When Dreams Shatter.... Two Faced. One A friend, The other, a Hidden enimy. Sneaks in past you as a friend. Stabs you in the back as a Enimy. Someone you love, repsected, praised, Becomes someone you hate, loath and curse. The perfect disguise... The un-expected evil. The spy that got past the line. Two faced Friend, Why? Two Faced Friend, You hurt me in more ways then you know. You gained my trust. My respect. I cared how you where. You tore me apart. The damage you have done is even deeper then the knife in my back. My Two Faced friend.... Fragile life. We walk through it, Tip toe around it, sneak about it. Walking on Egg shells. Knowing that one slip could change everything. Reletivly weak. We can snap like Twigs in a tornado. And why? It all ends eventually. And why? Because of the good things that make all the effort of being carefull worth it. The hope of a family. Of friends. Of fun. This Fragile life. We live it. Knowing at anymoment our shells could break. So why do we love this Fragile life? Well, this started out as a poem but now im not so sure anymore.... A Tear. A tear like many others, But like no other. A tear with meaning. A Tear full of hope once lost, Hope once forgoten. A tear of happiness, Of Joy. Shed for memories once forgotten. A tear like no other.. Fear. The fear of the walls. Closing in, cant breath. Cant speak, cant scream. Smaller, smaller my world becomes. The fear of height. Over the edge I peer. Vision becomes blurred. Head becomes dizzy. Everything in my world moves, Yet everything is still. Tilting, slipping and falling is my fear. Fear of the night. Walking down the street. What was that? That noise? Was that a foot step? What was that I just saw? Was that just a shadow or something more? Who just called my name? Who are you? What do you want? Leave me alone! Fear of the Flame Hot, searing. Crackling, Burning. The pain of the heat. Of me feeding this beast. Fear of being alone. Waking up. Reaching out. Touching nothing. Looking up, looking around. Nothing is around. No one to hear your screams. Fear of that day. The day everything changed. Life hasn’t been the same. I get up. It kicks me down. Reminding me. Kicking me. Running from a past that runs faster then me. I am Fear. Here I will stay. Live with me you may. I will keep you company. Fallow you around, letting you know I am here. For I am fear. What is life? Nothing but a fragile thing. Just like an egg. Will is strong. Body is weak. A Slip, A Trip, A bump, And life is changed. A Fall can mean the end, If not the total end, The end of one, And Beginning of another. Will To live, Will to die. Will to help, Or the will to hide. Slip, Slip, Tumble and crunch. Life is no more. Life is the fire, Spreads itself. Reproduces, And eventually smothers itself. Life is Water, Never ending cycles. Life is love, Needed, yet hard. Life is choice, Whether the right, or the wrong. Beginning and end, Wanted, or not, Needed. Like a friend, Or a Family. Learn to love, learn to hate, Live, learn, love, hate. This is Life. Im Sorry, For being me. Try to help, but get in the way. Try to love, but hurt anyways. Try to solve your loneliness, but only drive you further away. Wanting to be held, wanting to be needed, Driving you back, needing you close. Being a friend, by driving you away, Saving you from me, hopefully one day you will understand. Needing to know how you care, but not caring either way. Longing for your touch, while biting your hand. Im sorry, for being me. Uncaring and cold, as I may seem. Needing you there, also where I need to be. Im just sorry, for being me. Raising with the morning sun, I open my eyes. Turning my head, noticing I'm still by your side. Smiling, because it was no dream. That Night we shared, You and me. The Memory of what had happened, still fresh in my mind. Every moment, every breathless moment. The sweet smell, of which I will never forget, Nor the taste, that was part of last nights bliss. The soft touch, so caring, so innocent. Flowing with a natural instinct, Giving me bliss. As I wake, I lie, looking at you. Feeling you, by my side. Hoping to never leave your side. Whirling around, The world spins around. Life grows, life whithers. Waters flow, then water to vaper Thoughts enter, then get pushed aside Life whithers, though only from inside Mind breaks where the heart once flowed Ice cold, though the viens still flow. In and out of awareness I go, Seeing the world, then nothing more. There and back again I lean, From side to side, like wind in a tree Waiting for the cycle to end. Clinging on, though to what is still to be seen. Wondering on the edge, of a brink unseen. Cycle of life, cruel yet bold, From one end to the other, Flows from one, while stays in another. Visions flickering, fading from mind, This for me, is the end of my line. Looking up, stiring around. Seeing the world that once I had seen, That wasnt really ment for me. Twisting in my bed, cheeks still stained red. Wondering if it was a dream, That which happened to me. Stiring quietly, waiting to see, If I wake up, to find that this is another dream. Feeling the warmth of a new day's dawn, Shining down on a face that was twice scorned. One that was once filled with rage, Once with sorrow, and once with pain. Sitting up, smile on a face, Forgetting the tears, that still left their trace. Losing all worries, about days long past, Looking ahead for days coming fast. Feeling new things, this very day, A Feeling of bliss, Which may never be explained. There is no place to hide. Trying to find what's in my mind. I look around, but not even a sound. Drop a pin, though it felt silly then, but not even a sound, nor a firm ground. Floating about, I scream and shout. No one. I lost my mind, and still cannot find, A sense of time, Sense of smell, it has nothing to tell Sense of hearing has me fearing any sound. No sense of sight, trying as hard as I might, I've gone blind. Wondering around, lost and unfound, Deaf and blind... Inside my mind. Me, and a road, Dark road, black road Fallowing the road, not knowing Searching for a reason to follow the road. Keep going, moving, searching Along this road, black road This road, full of detours, detours of love, joy, sadness, detours of fear, and uncertainty. I move along this road, alone Searching for the reason Reason why I fallow this road Not finding, just looking This winding road, moving, searching Knowing there is a end Yet, not knowing where, when or how long Waiting for the end, final destination Not knowing where it leads, Just along for the ride Following this road, Wanting to speed up, Wanting to slow down. Wanting to see where it leads Wanting the end but fearing the end. No Reason to fallow this road, No reason to leave this road, Only curiosity of where it leads keeps me on it. Waiting on the end of this long, black road... Walking up, saying hi. Knife, blade in the light. Lead away, fear in my eyes. Laid down, held against my fight. Cloths on the ground, pulled off by noon. Tied down, bindings too tight. Tied down, no way to fight. Pain feirce, penetration too harsh. Screams loud, way too far. Two times around, each share the night. Done yet? No end in sight. Struggle I try, futile it seems. Hope's lost, no end it seems. Pain felt, refreshed and renewed. Ugh blood, too much for the view. Smell nausiating, blood can be felt. Light dims, pain begins to dull. Lights out, release from this hell hole... Waking up, still in such pain. Blood dried, but alot still remains. Look around, but Im all alone. Naked still, but tied up no more. Innocent still? Not after that night. Life left? Meaning left outside of sight. Friend, Please? Do a something for me? Have my heart, and make it beat? Take my mind, and make it think? Use my lungs, and make them breath? Take my hands, and make them feel? Use my body, and just Live.. For me? Losing sanity, demented thoughts in my mind. Voices i hear, though i know my ears lie. Times forgotten, Though still remembered Tearing apart, Inside Im tattered. Things i know are bad for me, I still seem to do. Torturing it is, I seem to continue. Losing my mind, Slipping and falling. Things aren't what they seem, and nothing worth recalling. Lost without a mind. Friend, Please? Do a something for me? Have my heart, and make it beat? Take my mind, and make it think? Use my lungs, and make them breath? Take my hands, and make them feel? Use my body, and just Live.. For me? See Me? On the seat, While I eat. Next to a creak, listening to beats. In the heat, while the sweat seeps. Drinking Tea, In the cool morning breeze. Being me, though the world cant see. What it's like, To just be me

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: help Author: gee [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:20:33 11/01/04 Mon wow.. that's long. > >Dreams, rulers of the night >Reminder of the past >Forseer of the future. > >Dreams, bringer of fantasy >Bringer of salvation >Bringer of joy. > >Dreams, Reminder of the pain >Reminders of the fear >Reminders of the past. > >Dreams, what people dream. > >But, Why cant I dream? >Why Do i not dream of Joy? >Why not of Salvation? > >Why, When I dream, >I dream of the fear? >I dream of the pain? > >Why must I dream of the past? > >Dreams, I haven't had them. >No Dreams for me, >I refuse to dream, >Dreams are not for me.... > >Why cant I dream? > > >Am I sane? > >Well, Am I? > >Is it ok that I laugh at pain? >I used to hurt, to cry. > >Now things that hurt just make me laugh. > >Am I Sane? > >Or better yet, Was I ever sane? > >I search my soul, I find nothing. >Search my life, Find nothing. > >Am I Sane? > >Why do I laugh at the Pain? >Why do I cry with the joy? > >Surely I cant be sane... > > >Stars in the sky. > >Numbers that cant be counted. > >Each could represent a dream, >Each one, a hope. > >One by one, they are born. >One by one, they all die. > >Unaccountable numbers of hopes, >Of Dreams. > >Some shine brighter. > >Some flair, flicker before they die. > >Some burn bright, as bright as some desires. > >But each new hope, each new dream, each new star, >There are always more lost hopes, dead dreams, failing >stars. > >In a Sea of unaccountable Stars.... > > > >It's just a life... > >What can i do with it? > >Can I take it? >Can I rule it? >Can I change it? > >I role these things in my mind. > >I could rule it. > >I try. > >I Fail > >This life cant be chained. > >I could Change it... > >I Try, strive. > >Push. > >It doesnt change. > >I Could take it... > >Hmm, there is a thought. >End it. > >I try. > >I fail. > >I come so close. > >I come close, to taking this life. > >I fail. > >What can I do with this life..... > >This life of mine? > > >Humer > >What to do? >To do when humer doesnt cut it? > >Why do we enjoy seeing other's pain? > >Why do we laugh when things arnt funny? > >I know why i laugh.. > >It helps eases the pain... > >Why is it? What is it about other's suffereing that is >so funny? > >I know that i dont laugh. But other's do. >Others enjoy it. My pain, your pain. > >But they dont think it is funny when it is their pain. > >Ohh sure, i laugh, when it helps eases the pain. > >But what to do? When the pain is too great? > >Do i laugh with those who laugh about my pain? > >What would that help? Pain is too great... > >But I will continue to laugh... > >It is the only thing that i can do. > >Why should we laugh at the pain? > >The Pain is too great. > >So I say, lets stand back, have a good laugh, while it >still leaves the pain... > > >Im just a Shell of my former self. > >The things i show other people. >They arn't the real me. > >The things I do around other people. >They arn't the real me. > >I do what I do, >So no one will know. > >So no one will know, >Who the real me is. > >It is better this way. >Keep my sarrow to myself. > >They are my problems, >Mine alone. > >Im a shell of my former self. > >Mybe one day, I will break this shell. > >Mybe one day, I will show my self... > > >A Night. > >Another Night. > >I made it through this night. >I wake up. Still alive. >Another night. > >I go from day to day. >Afriad of the nights. > >A Night, Another Night. >Just one more. > >I wake. Make it through, >Through another night. > > >How to Say Goodbye... > >To a loved one, >A friend. > >How To say Goodbye... > >To someone who mattered. > >How To Say Goodbye... > >To someone who showed you, >Showed you who you are. > >How To Say Goodbye... > >To a Friend, >A friend that gave me memories, >Memories of good times. > >How To Say Goodbye... > >Words cant express my feelings, >My love, My soul. > >How To Say Goodbye... > >Why is it impossible to simply say Goodbye? > > >When words arn't enough. > >That is where I end. >Where i get off. >Then end of my being. > >When i cant express myself, >Im no longer me. > >Where the words stop, >I stop. > >How am I to say the things that need to be said? >When i cant find the words to say them? > >Words can be hurtfull but they are me, >Who i am. > >My feelings, emotions, body, soul. > >When you read my words, >You are reading me. > >So when you flip that last page, >Read that last line. >Inturpret that last word, >You have reached the end of me. > >I gues this is the end of me... > > > >Friends.. > >Friends lost, >No idea why.. > >You talk, >No idea why.. > >You say hi, >They say nothing. > >Ask them why, >They say nothing. > >Friends lost.. > >Tell me why, >My friend, >Why you dont talk, >Why you dont listen. > >Tell me why, >My friend, >You dont like me, >What did i do? > >My friend.. > > > >There is something wrong with the world. > >People fight over petty stuff. >Things that dont matter. >Things as petty as name calling. > >People like to see other's in pain. >They get a kick out of it. >They get a joy out of it. > >People like causing pain. >They twist a little farther, >Just to hurt. > >They do this to feed their need, >need for pain, Get their fix, >Fix of a sedistic drug. > >This drug, sedistic drug, >Is one of seeing other's suffer. > >Everyone does this on one level or another. >Why is it that people try to cheer you up, >By saying that others have it worse? >By saying that your not the only one? >By pointing out that your better off? > >This is a drug, >one that is worse then any other. > >Not because of the people who do it, >but the people who are hurt from it. > >But this drug, it isnt protested. > >Why? > >Because most people do it, >No matter how little it is, >Most people still do it. > >Why? > >Is it the feeling of superiority? >The feeling that it wasnt you? > >For this, there are no answers. > >There is another drug. >One that can be just as adductive. >But isnt widly used, nor known. > >This drug, >Under-used drug, >Is help. > >Why is it? >That people would rather get pleasure, >From the pains of others, >Then to get pleasure, >From helping others? > >This Drug, sweet, wonderful drug, >Is the best drug. > >Gives you the best feelings. > >Sure it is harder to use, >but the rewards of using it is more then worth it. > >So why? >Why do people choose the pain of others? >Why not help? It is much more rewarding. > >Why? > > >Shadows, > >I walk among shadows, >Never sure of what is next. > >Is it just my will? >Is my suroundings Real? >Or just What i make? > >Can i change my world? >If they are but shadows? >Shadows of my will? Needs? Wants? > >Can i just reach out for what i want, >Can i just grasp it? Bring it to me? > >Could it be? That im the onlyone real? >That everyone else is nothing more then a filling? >To fill the world that i built? > >If so, Then i walk among shadows. > > >With the Stroke of a brush.. > >A Artist finishs a work. > >Completes a world. > >Finishs a life. > >Colors a sky. > >With the stroke of a brush.. > >The artist finishs a picture. > >Speaks an unspoken language. > >Adds feelings where there where none, >Emotions to a blank peice of canvas. > >With the stroke of a brush.. > >The artist finishes a part of themself. > >Part of their soul. A soul they poured so much of. > >With the look of an eye.. > >The artist realises that their work is incomplete. >Who they are isn't finished. > >With the feel of a touch.. > >They find the imperfections in the work. > >The things that only time and effort can fix. > >With the stroke of a brush.. > >The Artist continues on their great work.. > > >When dream shatters. > >When you realise that nothing is what you wanted. > >When you figure out that your striving for a lost >cause. > >When you lose your hope in something that you wanted. > >It hurts. > >When you start to see the cracks, breaking the dream's >lining, > >You cringe. > >When you start to hear the snapping of the dream, > >It seers your ears. > >When you see the now broken image of what was once a >smooth surface, > >You cry. > >Your dream, the one that has such promise, is falling >apart. > >Bit by bit, you watch as the peices fall off. > >You are saddened. > >Little by little, the peices shatter on the floor like >peices of broken glass. > >Your heart-broken. > >Peice by peice, everything falls apart. > >Your hopes are dashed. > >All you can do, is stand by and watch as something you >loved, strived for, dreamed of and longed for drifts >away and shatters... > >When Dreams Shatter.... > > >Two Faced. > >One A friend, >The other, a Hidden enimy. > >Sneaks in past you as a friend. >Stabs you in the back as a Enimy. > >Someone you love, repsected, praised, >Becomes someone you hate, loath and curse. > >The perfect disguise... > >The un-expected evil. > >The spy that got past the line. > >Two faced Friend, >Why? > >Two Faced Friend, >You hurt me in more ways then you know. > >You gained my trust. >My respect. >I cared how you where. > >You tore me apart. >The damage you have done is even deeper then the knife >in my back. > >My Two Faced friend.... > > >Fragile life. > >We walk through it, Tip toe around it, sneak about it. > >Walking on Egg shells. Knowing that one slip could >change everything. > >Reletivly weak. We can snap like Twigs in a tornado. > >And why? It all ends eventually. > >And why? Because of the good things that make all the >effort of being carefull worth it. The hope of a >family. Of friends. Of fun. > >This Fragile life. > >We live it. Knowing at anymoment our shells could >break. > >So why do we love this Fragile life? > >Well, this started out as a poem but now im not so >sure anymore.... > > >A Tear. > >A tear like many others, >But like no other. > >A tear with meaning. > >A Tear full of hope once lost, >Hope once forgoten. > >A tear of happiness, >Of Joy. > >Shed for memories once forgotten. > >A tear like no other.. > > >Fear. > >The fear of the walls. >Closing in, cant breath. >Cant speak, cant scream. >Smaller, smaller my world becomes. > >The fear of height. >Over the edge I peer. >Vision becomes blurred. >Head becomes dizzy. >Everything in my world moves, >Yet everything is still. >Tilting, slipping and falling is my fear. > >Fear of the night. >Walking down the street. >What was that? >That noise? >Was that a foot step? >What was that I just saw? >Was that just a shadow or something more? >Who just called my name? >Who are you? What do you want? >Leave me alone! > >Fear of the Flame >Hot, searing. >Crackling, Burning. >The pain of the heat. >Of me feeding this beast. > >Fear of being alone. >Waking up. >Reaching out. >Touching nothing. >Looking up, looking around. >Nothing is around. >No one to hear your screams. > >Fear of that day. >The day everything changed. >Life hasn’t been the same. >I get up. >It kicks me down. >Reminding me. Kicking me. >Running from a past that runs faster then me. > >I am Fear. Here I will stay. Live with me you may. I >will keep you company. Fallow you around, letting you >know I am here. For I am fear. > > > > >What is life? >Nothing but a fragile thing. >Just like an egg. >Will is strong. >Body is weak. >A Slip, >A Trip, >A bump, >And life is changed. >A Fall can mean the end, >If not the total end, >The end of one, >And Beginning of another. >Will To live, >Will to die. >Will to help, >Or the will to hide. >Slip, Slip, >Tumble and crunch. >Life is no more. >Life is the fire, >Spreads itself. >Reproduces, >And eventually smothers itself. >Life is Water, >Never ending cycles. >Life is love, >Needed, yet hard. >Life is choice, >Whether the right, or the wrong. >Beginning and end, >Wanted, or not, >Needed. >Like a friend, >Or a Family. >Learn to love, learn to hate, >Live, learn, love, hate. >This is Life. > > >Im Sorry, For being me. >Try to help, but get in the way. >Try to love, but hurt anyways. >Try to solve your loneliness, but only drive you >further away. >Wanting to be held, wanting to be needed, >Driving you back, needing you close. > >Being a friend, by driving you away, >Saving you from me, hopefully one day you will >understand. >Needing to know how you care, but not caring either >way. > >Longing for your touch, while biting your hand. > >Im sorry, for being me. > >Uncaring and cold, as I may seem. >Needing you there, also where I need to be. > >Im just sorry, for being me. > > >Raising with the morning sun, I open my eyes. >Turning my head, noticing I'm still by your side. > >Smiling, because it was no dream. >That Night we shared, You and me. > >The Memory of what had happened, still fresh in my >mind. >Every moment, every breathless moment. > >The sweet smell, of which I will never forget, >Nor the taste, that was part of last nights bliss. >The soft touch, so caring, so innocent. >Flowing with a natural instinct, Giving me bliss. > >As I wake, I lie, looking at you. >Feeling you, by my side. >Hoping to never leave your side. > > >Whirling around, >The world spins around. >Life grows, life whithers. >Waters flow, then water to vaper > >Thoughts enter, then get pushed aside >Life whithers, though only from inside >Mind breaks where the heart once flowed >Ice cold, though the viens still flow. > >In and out of awareness I go, >Seeing the world, then nothing more. >There and back again I lean, >From side to side, like wind in a tree >Waiting for the cycle to end. >Clinging on, though to what is still to be seen. >Wondering on the edge, of a brink unseen. > >Cycle of life, cruel yet bold, >From one end to the other, >Flows from one, while stays in another. >Visions flickering, fading from mind, >This for me, is the end of my line. > > >Looking up, stiring around. > >Seeing the world that once I had seen, >That wasnt really ment for me. > > >Twisting in my bed, cheeks still stained red. >Wondering if it was a dream, >That which happened to me. > >Stiring quietly, waiting to see, >If I wake up, to find that this is another dream. > >Feeling the warmth of a new day's dawn, >Shining down on a face that was twice scorned. >One that was once filled with rage, >Once with sorrow, and once with pain. > > >Sitting up, smile on a face, >Forgetting the tears, that still left their trace. > > >Losing all worries, about days long past, >Looking ahead for days coming fast. > >Feeling new things, this very day, >A Feeling of bliss, >Which may never be explained. > > > > > >There is no place to hide. >Trying to find what's in my mind. > >I look around, but not even a sound. >Drop a pin, though it felt silly then, >but not even a sound, nor a firm ground. > >Floating about, I scream and shout. >No one. > >I lost my mind, and still cannot find, >A sense of time, >Sense of smell, it has nothing to tell >Sense of hearing has me fearing any sound. >No sense of sight, trying as hard as I might, >I've gone blind. > >Wondering around, lost and unfound, >Deaf and blind... > >Inside my mind. > > > >Me, and a road, >Dark road, black road >Fallowing the road, not knowing > > >Searching for a reason to follow the road. >Keep going, moving, searching >Along this road, black road > >This road, full of detours, >detours of love, joy, sadness, >detours of fear, and uncertainty. > >I move along this road, alone >Searching for the reason >Reason why I fallow this road >Not finding, just looking > >This winding road, moving, searching >Knowing there is a end >Yet, not knowing where, when or how long > >Waiting for the end, final destination >Not knowing where it leads, >Just along for the ride > >Following this road, >Wanting to speed up, >Wanting to slow down. >Wanting to see where it leads >Wanting the end but fearing the end. > >No Reason to fallow this road, >No reason to leave this road, >Only curiosity of where it leads keeps me on it. > >Waiting on the end of this long, black road... > > > >Walking up, saying hi. >Knife, blade in the light. >Lead away, fear in my eyes. >Laid down, held against my fight. >Cloths on the ground, pulled off by noon. > >Tied down, bindings too tight. >Tied down, no way to fight. > >Pain feirce, penetration too harsh. >Screams loud, way too far. >Two times around, each share the night. >Done yet? No end in sight. > >Struggle I try, futile it seems. >Hope's lost, no end it seems. > >Pain felt, refreshed and renewed. >Ugh blood, too much for the view. >Smell nausiating, blood can be felt. > >Light dims, pain begins to dull. >Lights out, release from this hell hole... > >Waking up, still in such pain. >Blood dried, but alot still remains. >Look around, but Im all alone. >Naked still, but tied up no more. > >Innocent still? Not after that night. >Life left? Meaning left outside of sight. > > > >Friend, Please? >Do a something for me? > >Have my heart, >and make it beat? > >Take my mind, >and make it think? > >Use my lungs, >and make them breath? > >Take my hands, >and make them feel? > >Use my body, >and just Live.. > >For me? > > > >Losing sanity, >demented thoughts in my mind. > >Voices i hear, >though i know my ears lie. > >Times forgotten, >Though still remembered > >Tearing apart, >Inside Im tattered. > >Things i know are bad for me, >I still seem to do. > >Torturing it is, >I seem to continue. > >Losing my mind, >Slipping and falling. > >Things aren't what they seem, >and nothing worth recalling. > >Lost without a mind. > > > >Friend, Please? >Do a something for me? > >Have my heart, >and make it beat? > >Take my mind, >and make it think? > >Use my lungs, >and make them breath? > >Take my hands, >and make them feel? > >Use my body, >and just Live.. > >For me? > > >See Me? >On the seat, >While I eat. > >Next to a creak, >listening to beats. > >In the heat, >while the sweat seeps. > >Drinking Tea, >In the cool morning breeze. > >Being me, >though the world cant see. > >What it's like, >To just be me

[> [> [> Subject: hold my hand Author: jimmy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:32:36 10/29/04 Fri Drowning....... In a sea of life. Wanting....... To be rid of strife. Grasping....... For the bloodied knife. And I wannnnnnnnt toooo dieeeeee........ Yeah I wannnnnnnnt toooo dieeeeee........ I'm going on a killing spree, Feast upon Insanity. Feed the hunger, Feed The drive, Feed until, death arrives. Kill the world, Slay the lot, Burn their bodiez, Watch them rot. Gouge their eyez, Cut out their tonguez, Eat their heartz, In burger bunz. Drowning....... In a sea of life. Wanting....... To be rid of strife. Grasping....... For the bloodied knife. And I wannnnnnnnt toooo dieeeeee........ Yeah I wannnnnnnnt toooo dieeeeee........ I want to drag you with me, Drag you right down now, Make you see the real me, Make you see me now. A knife across your stomach, Your inardz all spill out. A blade across your neck, A head you're now without.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Ryan Payne [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:40:56 11/02/04 Tue i am very drunk....a disclaimer...i have tried to commit suicide numerous times only to have a member of my family find me in a bathtub full of blood..eventually i got the philosophy of "why dont i do something crazy that no ordinary human would do..i mean why not, id be dead anyways, what are other people going to do? whats the worse that could happend? the worse that could happen is me dying so if im going to die anyways then why dont i run away and see where my money will take me and become homeless and try to get as far away as i can"...well i did that..it was refreshing..i walked the entire united states...i joined homeless groups..i smoked peyhotte...i slept in the desert..i lived in the woods in the middle of the night..why? because i didnt care if i lived or died...so why would i end my life if i didnt even take any risks? you can take the most amazing risks..you can forget all you know...you can do things that would astound even yourself..you can just start walking in one direction one day (have an I.D. in case a cop stops you..you wont get in trouble just for walking because that isnt illegal but they do tend to stop and ask you questions just because that is suspicious)...and walk and walk and walk..push your body to its limits...smoke a thousand cigarettes..what do you care if your lungs are poisioned...you were going to die anyway..walk in wheat fields..walk into a city and witness the homeless and the crime and see how even that in a way is beauitful in gritty glory..i did...you should too..and then after all that craziness..kill yourself...but why kill yourself when you havnt even left your house of did something un politically correct?

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Ryan Payne [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:43:31 11/02/04 Tue i am very drunk....a disclaimer...i have tried to commit suicide numerous times only to have a member of my family find me in a bathtub full of blood..eventually i got the philosophy of "why dont i do something crazy that no ordinary human would do..i mean why not, id be dead anyways, what are other people going to do? whats the worse that could happend? the worse that could happen is me dying so if im going to die anyways then why dont i run away and see where my money will take me and become homeless and try to get as far away as i can"...well i did that..it was refreshing..i walked the entire united states...i joined homeless groups..i smoked peyhotte...i slept in the desert..i lived in the woods in the middle of the night..why? because i didnt care if i lived or died...so why would i end my life if i didnt even take any risks? you can take the most amazing risks..you can forget all you know...you can do things that would astound even yourself..you can just start walking in one direction one day (have an I.D. in case a cop stops you..you wont get in trouble just for walking because that isnt illegal but they do tend to stop and ask you questions just because that is suspicious)...and walk and walk and walk..push your body to its limits...smoke a thousand cigarettes..what do you care if your lungs are poisioned...you were going to die anyway..walk in wheat fields..walk into a city and witness the homeless and the crime and see how even that in a way is beauitful in gritty glory..i did...you should too..and then after all that craziness..kill yourself...but why kill yourself when you havnt even left your house of did something un politically correct? if anybody wants to talk to me about any of this.. my AOL IM name is illegalrodrego

[> [> [> Subject: Me Author: Me [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:56:56 11/04/04 Thu I don't know much about this whole faith thing -- Don't really put much stock in it. I do know this however ... no matter how many times I think of ways to do myself in I can never seem to go through with it. I just can't let go of the little moments ... the times when I actually laugh, the days that just smell good (this might sound strange but if you know what I mean maybe it doesn't), movies (that 2 hour escape ... if it's a good movie), the times when humanity actually makes an appearance (rare, but it does happen). I can't make any judgements or promises that my life will get better, more than likely it probably won't. I just can't seem to end it, because I want to know what happens. Sure, I know I will be unhappy, but if I do myself in, maybe I'll miss the next great movie, or great laugh, or great friend. I don't know, everyone has to figure it out for themselves. The pain just seems constant, but I'm starting to really live for the moments.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Dave [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:28:00 11/07/04 Sun Well, where do i start? I know i need help, i understand that but i just cant make that final step to recieveing help. For years now i have hated myself and everything about my life, on many occasions i have thought about suicide. Only knowing how my family would react stops me from doing so. What i dont understand as before i was depressed all the time which at least i could understand, but now i can have the time of my life one minute and the next minute be reaching for a knife. I dont understand whats going on inside of me, recently i began cutting myself and i can feel anger surge inside of me, wanting me to do something about my life. I have so much anger for everything around me, maybe its jealousy because people are happy i dont know. All i want is to be happy, im 24 in february and it may seem strange but what would make me happy is a wife, children and a house of my own. This is all i need is it to much to ask? i need to feel love, to have someone who feels complete love for me as i do for them. To understand one another and be there for one another. I need to achieve something also. It may sund bigheaded or stupid but i feel like im better than i am. That im destined for something big but that i cant achieve it. I have a family and friends, none of whom i can really talk to but they are there all the same.I need answers to the questions i have, i need to know what its all about,maybe one day i will discover what it is but now as i type this i see myself in a mirror and i feel like cutting myself, killing myself but im too weak to even do that and it makes me hate me more. I know its up to me to turn things around, i know all this, im not a stupid person i know what i need to do, but i cant i dont have the energy to do so. Im too afraid of the consequences to my actions, im rambling now i know i am and id be suprised if this makes sense. All i can say is i need more than this, i need to feel im making a difference that all of this isnt pointless, my mother is religious but i cant bring myself to be so myself, i cant believe in something for which i have seen no real evidence of it being reality. I cannot devote my life to something which may not exist, surely that is wasting a life more so than what i am doing now? i understand why people need religion, the safety and comfort it gives them but until i see something to show me the truth then i cannot believe it. Anyway i better go, anyone wishing to talk please email me maybe we can be depressed together

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Shannon [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:30:37 04/07/04 Wed >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all that turned into was cutting them until they're nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i still here? i'm just stupid i guess...

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kevin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:45:14 04/20/04 Tue >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die > I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly >stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all >that turned into was cutting them until they're >nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid >to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i still >here? i'm just stupid i guess... NO you are not stupid... I can tell you the reason you are still alive but to tell you with out going on for ages, I will just say that there is a reason for it and if you want to know then email me and I will share it with you and anyone who really wants to know... I have been there and at times can semi slip back to it but I now know and walk above it.....all my love be with you all, Kevin... handshigh@optusnet.com.au

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Bullshit [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:27:13 09/02/04 Thu >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >> I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly >>stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all >>that turned into was cutting them until they're >>nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid >>to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i still >>here? i'm just stupid i guess... > >NO you are not stupid... I can tell you the reason you >are still alive but to tell you with out going on for >ages, I will just say that there is a reason for it >and if you want to know then email me and I will share >it with you and anyone who really wants to know... I >have been there and at times can semi slip back to it >but I now know and walk above it.....all my love be >with you all, Kevin... handshigh@optusnet.com.au Kevin, Stop your bullshit. What do you really care about other people ? The only think you care about is ***your own*** conscience and guilt feeling of not helping others who wants to die ? It is true, isn't it ? It is easy, very easy to say "I care about you. I missed you. I don't want you to die". Ever been to a mental health facility where they imprison those who wants to die. What do the so-call helpful social workers do ? Nothing. They sit around chit-chat among themselves, watching TV, do nothing, scream at you, waiting for time to pass so they get paid. Is that what they call help ? Who makes the fucking law that says you do not have the right to die ? Again it is back to caring for their own's conscience, their own guilt, not the victim's welfare.

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: marsh [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:38:36 10/08/04 Fri I know how all of you feel, its hard living with depression and feeling like there is nothing better out there and the only other option is the end of all suffering which is death. I know that feelings we all have when we are like this is dispair, some dont have any feeling at all and thats why they want to end it, I have been through all this as well, there is a light at the end of this tunnel, we cant do anything but look up from here because it cant get any lower right,just reach out to someone and keep reaching until someone grabs your hand, youve come thus far and have reached out by typing your message right, well im reaching back, grab my hand and let me help you. email me mshaw3893@yahoo.com, i will do what i can to help you. im a great listener if thats all you need. and i have been there so i do understand. and i care because I want to care. marsha

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: marilyn [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:53:00 09/05/04 Sun ok, Kevin, you can tell me why I shouldnt die. Im interested in what you have to say. and you can go on and on. Im listening. I live in Canada, and " googled": "I want to die" because thats all I can think about. So I got you. Any ideas? >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >> I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly >>stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all >>that turned into was cutting them until they're >>nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid >>to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i still >>here? i'm just stupid i guess... > >NO you are not stupid... I can tell you the reason you >are still alive but to tell you with out going on for >ages, I will just say that there is a reason for it >and if you want to know then email me and I will share >it with you and anyone who really wants to know... I >have been there and at times can semi slip back to it >but I now know and walk above it.....all my love be >with you all, Kevin... handshigh@optusnet.com.au

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: JO [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:15:39 09/06/04 Mon >dont kill yourself. many people love you and they will get hurt if you do something like that > > >ok, Kevin, you can tell me why I shouldnt die. Im >interested in what you have to say. and you can go on >and on. Im listening. I live in Canada, and " >googled": "I want to die" because thats all I can >think about. So I got you. Any ideas? > > > > >>>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but >I'm >>>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >>life, >>>>Help me die >>> I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly >>>stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all >>>that turned into was cutting them until they're >>>nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid >>>to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i >still >>>here? i'm just stupid i guess... >> >>NO you are not stupid... I can tell you the reason you >>are still alive but to tell you with out going on for >>ages, I will just say that there is a reason for it >>and if you want to know then email me and I will share >>it with you and anyone who really wants to know... I >>have been there and at times can semi slip back to it >>but I now know and walk above it.....all my love be >>with you all, Kevin... handshigh@optusnet.com.au

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gary [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:03:19 09/08/04 Wed I hate when people say they care. No body cares at all. If they cared they would take the time and feel the sorrow while you were still here. People always pretend to care after you are gone but that is just a meaningless pile of shit. Parents are supposed to care for their children no matter what age. I am 18 and a pretty good kid. I'm going to college and I am running Track for the University. So I would say I have done pretty good for myself but my parents tell me that I am not welcome in their home. I just recently told them how lonely and depressed I am again. They know that I have tried to slit my wrists, I did it right in front of them with glass but it is harder than it looks or sounds. I have tried many times but never succeed. I am just saying that the people I thought cared about me the most I realize don't give a shit about me. They know I want to die but they tell I disgust them because I lied to them. Not big lies even. Little lies like about a girlfriend or drinking. Normal kid lies. Anyway the more love I need, the more I am told to fuck off and it hurts way to fucking bad to have no one care about me. I know I can't kill myself but I really wish I could die. Thank you for listening.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: why wait [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:52:47 09/08/04 Wed i noe how u feel i feel so alone like no one cares wen they say they do every morning i go to sleep sad and wake up sad my life is one disaster after another i haf more bad stuff hapn in my life than good.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gary G [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:51:55 09/18/04 Sat It is amazing how everything is always someone else's fault. How about accepting that lying is wrong and inexcusable instead of expecting everyone else to cover you in cotton wool and love you?

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: edwin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:26:27 09/26/04 Sun >It is amazing how everything is always someone else's >fault. How about accepting that lying is wrong and >inexcusable instead of expecting everyone else to >cover you in cotton wool and love you? wool and cotton are totally materials. cotton is from a plant, wool is from a sheep. therefore, there is no such thing as "cotton wool" ty

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: edwin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:27:32 09/26/04 Sun >>It is amazing how everything is always someone else's >>fault. How about accepting that lying is wrong and >>inexcusable instead of expecting everyone else to >>cover you in cotton wool and love you? > >wool and cotton are totally different materials. cotton is from>a plant, wool is from a sheep. therefore, there is no >such thing as "cotton wool" > >ty

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Nancy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:05:54 09/23/04 Thu >I hate when people say they care. No body cares at >all. If they cared they would take the time and feel >the sorrow while you were still here. People always >pretend to care after you are gone but that is just a >meaningless pile of shit. Parents are supposed to care >for their children no matter what age. I am 18 and a >pretty good kid. I'm going to college and I am running >Track for the University. So I would say I have done >pretty good for myself but my parents tell me that I >am not welcome in their home. I just recently told >them how lonely and depressed I am again. They know >that I have tried to slit my wrists, I did it right in >front of them with glass but it is harder than it >looks or sounds. I have tried many times but never >succeed. I am just saying that the people I thought >cared about me the most I realize don't give a shit >about me. They know I want to die but they tell I >disgust them because I lied to them. Not big lies >even. Little lies like about a girlfriend or >drinking. Normal kid lies. Anyway the more love I >need, the more I am told to fuck off and it hurts way >to fucking bad to have no one care about me. I know I >can't kill myself but I really wish I could die. >Thank you for listening. Hi, Gary. I want to commend you for going to college and being a disciplined athelete besides. You have so much potential, and I hope that you can be one of the few gems of this Earth that dare to shine in spite of the negativity that permeates our environment. I am sad that your parents have shut you out of their lives. It sounds like they forgot the little boy who they conceived and brought up. You slitting your wrists in front of them was a huge shock and probably incredibly horrible for them to watch; but if you did that, you probably wanted to give them a wakeup call--"notice me, damn it, I am still here. Don't you care about me? Aren't you proud of the person I am? Don't my successes mean anything to you?" And so on. Gary, we have to love ourselves as best we can in spite of the pain. The best revenge in the world is to live a happy life. You have power within yourself to be strong. Don't let others take that power away from you. (((hug)))

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: marsha [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:42:36 10/08/04 Fri I know how all of you feel, its hard living with depression and feeling like there is nothing better out there and the only other option is the end of all suffering which is death. I know that feelings we all have when we are like this is dispair, some dont have any feeling at all and thats why they want to end it, I have been through all this as well, there is a light at the end of this tunnel, we cant do anything but look up from here because it cant get any lower right,just reach out to someone and keep reaching until someone grabs your hand, youve come thus far and have reached out by typing your message right, well im reaching back, grab my hand and let me help you. email me mshaw3893@yahoo.com, i will do what i can to help you. im a great listener if thats all you need. You are a great person Gary, Dont give up, we are here for you. marsha

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Chad [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:09:33 09/23/04 Thu >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >> I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly >>stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all >>that turned into was cutting them until they're >>nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid >>to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i still >>here? i'm just stupid i guess... > >NO you are not stupid... I can tell you the reason you >are still alive but to tell you with out going on for >ages, I will just say that there is a reason for it >and if you want to know then email me and I will share >it with you and anyone who really wants to know... I >have been there and at times can semi slip back to it >but I now know and walk above it.....all my love be >with you all, Kevin... handshigh@optusnet.com.au Please Kevin, tell me why to live. thank you, Chad (Santa ANa, California)

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Sherley [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:26:43 04/29/04 Thu I want to fucking die! I hate myself this fucking life, i dont know what to do. i have nothing, nothing to live for...

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Nancy Smith [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:22:55 08/16/04 Mon >I want to fucking die! I hate myself this fucking >life, i dont know what to do. i have nothing, nothing >to live for... I want to die too!I guess its not really the answer to you!But i know one thing for sure,i need a help to go through with it!I totally understand what you going trough. Nancy

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Ghostrider [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:37:41 08/17/04 Tue I am facing 20 years in prison for a DWI. I cannot do it. I've lost everything and everyone in my life, so why should I even care or try???

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Richard [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:39:11 08/17/04 Tue >I am facing 20 years in prison for a DWI. I cannot do >it. I've lost everything and everyone in my life, so >why should I even care or try???

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Richard [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:40:24 08/17/04 Tue >>I am facing 20 years in prison for a DWI. I cannot do >>it. I've lost everything and everyone in my life, so >>why should I even care or try???

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: M. E. Miller [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:36:13 08/31/04 Tue >>>I am facing 20 years in prison for a DWI. I cannot >do >>>it. I've lost everything and everyone in my life, so >>>why should I even care or try??? This is not the first time you took a drink, and probably not the last. The prison of dependency you find yourself in is worse than any concrete cell block. If you can begin treatment before your sentencing, by all means go for it. It will help if you see this as an opportunity to take stock of yourself and your purpose in life. There is someone watching over you who loves you unconditionally. Make a difference for someone else by your example. You may get out with good behavior and sincere effort to change the path of self-destruction.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARK [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:37:07 06/25/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die > I hate everything about life. it's so incredibly >stupid. i've thought about slitting my wrists but all >that turned into was cutting them until they're >nothing but one huge wound, yet i'm still too afraid >to cut vertically and get it over with. why am i still >here? i'm just stupid i guess... >THERE IS ALOT MORE TO LIVE FOR THAN LOOKS.FOOLS SUCH AS SOME OF THOSE ON THIS SITE THAT CAN DO NO MORE THAN CUT DOWN AND DEGRADE ARE THE REAL LOWEST FORMS OF LIFE. THERE ARE THOSE THAT LOVE YOU. EVEN THOUGH WE NEVER MET, I DO STILL CARE.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: creepyloser [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:02:35 04/29/04 Thu >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die i can't express in words the pain and agony that has become my life. whatever people who committ suicide possess that allows them to do so.........i do not......yet everyday it gets worse....everyday is too much to bear.........if anyone can help me obtain cyanide or phenylbarbitol....or something of this nature........please email me.........i dont wish to be saved.......i wish for serious assistance only

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Edward [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:56:08 05/12/04 Wed I want to die to and dont no how to kill my self >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gary Graefen [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:02:25 08/15/04 Sun >>I want to die alot- But once I almost was killed and realized I can get past this. Something always seems to come along which shakes me out of the idea. Try This:http://imperialvalleygateway.50megs.com/Multimedia/Books/FindingJoyinLiving/joyinliving1.htm

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Lee [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:59:33 08/17/04 Tue >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die Kill yourself, i wish i had the balls to do it, whats wrong with killing yourself? its just your instinct to live thats holding us back. you just have to push yourself, im going to try but i don't know if i can.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kalypso [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:57:58 08/18/04 Wed >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die I have prayed that I would die for quite some time now.. My life contiunes to get worse~ One day I am afraid that my prayers will be answered!

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Charles [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:48:41 08/20/04 Fri >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die ------------------------------------------------------- Most everyday I wish that I could die or had the cowardess to commit suicide. I've been off work for over a year and I haven't been able to find another job. I see all these people that take everything that they have for granted and I can't ever come out on top. I fell in love with a woman that I can't get my mind off, she's my best ond only friend and I've waited for two years to be able to atleast try and be with her, now she says I'll have to wait longer. My parents don't give a damn about me, I never hear from them and if I call them the conversation is "How's your brother doing?". "Well I've gotta get going I'll talk to you later ok." Then I don't hear from any of them until I call again, which more than likely won't happen again. Growing up I never had any friends at all. The first time I ever hung out with any one was at 17 yrs old. That didn't last long because the only reason that the person wanted to pretend to be my friend was because he thought that I got some huge settlement from my sisters death. Though the insurance settlement that I did get my mother took from me and I never seen a dime of it and that would have been the only way for me to go to college. So by haps I couldn't further my education. But she made sure that my brother had everything that was his or mine. I've felt cursed since I was around the age of four, when I seen my dad come into the public place that I was at and I became joyed to see him because I didn't get that chance very often, and he ignored me and walked over to my brother and his girlfriend's kid and threw them onto his lap and played around with them. Every girlfriend I've ever had cheated on me, I don't know why, the only thing I can think of is because I'm too nice and I don't beat on them or call them nasty names. I was married once, that woman had sex more than I did. The funny thing was that when I caught her at it she tried to tell me that that's not what was going on, and out of the fear of the loneliness that I've felt all my life I stayed until I couldn't take it anymore. You people want to kill yourselves, I ask "why?". Is it as bad as you think? Do you know what it feels like to put the people you care about above yourself and none of those people ever once even try to care about how you feel. I do everything I can for the people that I love and there hasn't ever been one that has just even come up to me and given me a hug and said thanks. Do you really know what pain is? Look around yourselves and count the people that tell you how much they care and that they would miss you if you were to die. There's only one that has kept me here, she's the best friend I've ever had and she's the woman I'm in love with and it may not be much but it's everything that I have to live for and I'll wait out my time until she's ready even if that causes more pain. Though there are more days than there aren't that I wish that I didn't wake up, I wouldn't take my own life because still you don't know what kind of happiness may come tomorrow and if you take you life your might miss out. I want to die most the time but I can wait for natural death, even though most days I wish it would just happen. Sorry to bore all of you, but I couldn't help it. If anyone feels like it then you can e-mail me @ fallenruler@hotmail.com

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: helpme :( [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:07:03 09/09/04 Thu Charles i feel like you i want to die but im scared that i will miss on sumfin good later but then i reasses my life n relise nothing eva good stays good with me ... help me :(

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: john [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 02:43:09 08/22/04 Sun >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me diei feel the same way u do

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: J [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:16:24 08/22/04 Sun i want to die too. I think about it every week. I am very tired of hiding this thought. I have to wait for my son to turn 18, a few more years. I think about taking sleeping pills and laying on the rail road tracks.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: SomeOneCares [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:47:01 08/26/04 Thu Parenthood doesn't stop at 18, he will need your forever as you need him. See a doctor about your thoughts, there is so much love in life. We all think of ending things when times are hard, but don't give up. Everyone day start saying one positive thing to yourself, after a week add another thing. This will change your thoughts and then you will find you are only thinking good things and seeing good things in your life. We are what we think! So change your thinking! I care....

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: CB [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:14:04 08/24/04 Tue >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die I love to hate my life. It sucks ass. I don't know why because I have a lot of good things to take away all of the bad things. It still isn't good enough for me. Of course, I am drunk right now and took a bunch of sleeping pills. I hate my life!!! I don't want to deal with it anymore. I want to give up. Why????????????????????????????????? why do I have to be here?????????????? I just want to be able to be happy and stay happy.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: john [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:35:34 08/24/04 Tue T

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Diana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:57:15 08/25/04 Wed >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me Most of the people who want to die don't really want to die. They want the pain to go away and to be numb. Life is full of too much pain to live through but I rather have pain than nothing at all. IF you wanted to die you would've done it already what you need to do is learn to live and learn to love yourself. It sounds corny but true one has to love oneself to learn what true love is.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: FUCK YOU [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:56:19 08/27/04 Fri TAKE YOUR GOD BS AND GO SLEEP OFF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE PLEASE. IF THERE WAS A GOD, WE WOULDN'T WANT TO DIE STUPID PIECE OF SHIT

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARIE MIOSHA [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:35:20 09/17/04 Fri >TAKE YOUR GOD BS AND GO SLEEP OFF THE REST OF YOUR >LIFE PLEASE. IF THERE WAS A GOD, WE WOULDN'T WANT TO >DIE STUPID PIECE OF SHIT THANK YOU I FEEL THE SAME WAY TELL THEM AGAIN

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Chris [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:10:48 08/27/04 Fri Everyone: If yu wanna die, then just kill yourself. Being a chicken about it will only lead you to more andmroe misery. Just finish it now and put yourself out of your misery. If every moment is torture, please, grind your teeth and push down with that knife, or swallow all those pills or jump off that building and do it! Stop worrying about it, just do it! End your own misery!!!

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Outraged [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:21:29 08/31/04 Tue >Everyone: If yu wanna die, then just kill yourself. >Being a chicken about it will only lead you to more >andmroe misery. Just finish it now and put yourself >out of your misery. If every moment is torture, >please, grind your teeth and push down with that >knife, or swallow all those pills or jump off that >building and do it! Stop worrying about it, just do >it! End your own misery!!! i cant believe there are people out there like you chris who feed off of others misery its sickening; and if there is a god im sure you will always be the one to die in that car crash instead of the people who pray everyday to leave this earth.... compared to someone who prays for others suffering... disgusting.. all of you who think that should you have the audacity to post here should feel more shame than anyone who has the courage to admit they hate living in the presence of people like you.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Lucifer [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:23:41 08/31/04 Tue >Everyone: If yu wanna die, then just kill yourself. >Being a chicken about it will only lead you to more >andmroe misery. Just finish it now and put yourself >out of your misery. If every moment is torture, >please, grind your teeth and push down with that >knife, or swallow all those pills or jump off that >building and do it! Stop worrying about it, just do >it! End your own misery!!! i cant believe there are people out there like you chris who feed off of others misery its sickening; and if there is a god im sure you will always be the one to die in that car crash instead of the people who pray everyday to leave this earth.... compared to someone who prays for others suffering... disgusting.. all of you who think that should you have the audacity to post here should feel more shame than anyone who has the courage to admit they hate living in the presence of people like you.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Theonlywaytohealthepainistouseitalltodie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:53:17 09/01/04 Wed >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die My Father died when I was five. I watched my mom cry herself to sleep. nothing good ever happends to me. My mother drinks until she pukes on the floor. I have to clean it up. I am alone. Nobody's there for me. I have a couple friends but i cant talk to them about anything. they dont understand. People I've never even talked to hate me and want me to die. I cut my wrists so the pain goes away, my mom saw them. And she screamed at me. My sister got in a car accident with her friends, she's still in the hospital. my whole family wants me to become something I'm not. I got in a fight with someone, and got picked up by the cops my mother picked me up from the police station. I want to be a singer of a band. It wont happen. I don't want to continue my life, if I know nothing good is ever going to happen. I actually thought my dreams would come true. But I based my life on dreams. MY WHOLE PATHETIC FUCKING LIFE THE ONLY THING TO LOOK FORWARD TO WONT EVEN FUCKING HAPPEN. I'm an imsomniac, I cant goto sleep, because that's when all my memories come back to me. They keep me awake. It's like when you were little and you thought there was a monster under your bed ...except you know its there, and it always will be. It will never go away. Why live longer if nothing ever gets better. I could drown in the tears. Nobody cares for me. But I fear dieing, because i beleieve that heaven is a lie.... If there was a god why cant he help me.....WHY HASN'T HE HELPED US. because he was never there. I don't beleive...hate me if I don't. But you can see for youself, stand out in a field in a lightning storm scream, god save me. See if he helps you then. You wont make it back home. The scars will stay. theres nothing more to live for. The only way for me to finally get closure is to die. The person I love the most, never loved me and never will.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: The Final Cut [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:03:35 09/01/04 Wed I sacrificed everything just to make you smile for once but you will never be happy and you will never be mine When I realized this I screamed for the last time I choked on the blood in my throat once the crimson tear fell from your eye i couldn't stand it I was to numb to cry the pain devoured my soul you wash away all the memories with all of your tears I lie awake wondering what went wrong I lie awake wondering how did this get so far my eyes cry out stronger than the words I burn all the memories afriad to fall in love all over again If It caused all this pain I dont want it anymore The broken pictures remain in my head leave me now please leave me now this guilt will always stay as I blame myself it all gets worse so I throw it all away you will never knwo how much I love you how I suffer endlessly as I take the knife and pull it closer the world is fadeing finally the blood surounds her carved on the walls as she will never be the death of one person no one gave the chance to see

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: A [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:42:42 09/01/04 Wed >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die life sucks. the one i love left me after a year and a half i feel useless and i don`t care if i die or not, fuck the world but most importantly fuck myself "can`t leave me out".

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: A [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:44:16 09/01/04 Wed is there anything worth living for?

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gary [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:49:03 09/08/04 Wed No. Life is an endless scene of lost hopes and dreams that will never come true. My life was so horrible this summer that I tried slitting my wrists. I never cut deep enough. I tried like 10 times and the sad thing was that I really enjoyed watching it bleed. People constantly tell me that things are going to get better, I tell them I don't believe them but they assure me. Things always just get worse and worse and when you feel like dying you think it can't get any worse but it definitely does. I just left for college which is supposed to be a great time in a person's life and for some odd reason I thought moving away might actually make life better. But you can't leave pain and like always it is just getting worse. I haven't tried to kill myself in a long time and I don't intend to. But even though I don't believe in god I still pray that he will kill me in a way where I don't have to do it. I am here so lonely and depressed and not one person in the whole world cares and that is the truth. My mom just told me that I am not welcome to come home because she says I have been lying about my life. Hello, I am a fucking teenager, that is what we do, we lie and it is normal. And my dad just told me that he should've yelled at me more this summer when I was acting weird. So the people who make me want to kill myself are telling me that I have ruined their lives. It is weird because I know that if I died there would be a lot of people at my funeral crying but then why does nobody care that I seriously want to kill myself. My parents say don't do anything stupid to hurt yourself. That disgusts me. They should be telling me that they love me and that they are proud of me. Instead they tell me that I am shit head and that I shouldn't hurt myself. What fucking assholes they are. Sorry I am getting off subject. I just want to fucking die and that is the point. I think about the future and all that lies ahead is more pain and sorrow and I am sick of it.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: joe [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:27:12 09/02/04 Thu Gee, this is a pile of fun, eh?

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Brian Miller [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:07:29 09/03/04 Fri >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die I stumbled on to this site just typing in a few words, "I want to die." It's disturbing and gratifying at the same time how many posts there are. Disturbing in that it's a horrible topic, but gratifying in that I'm not the only one. Yes, I want to die. No, I don't want to die. Let me clarify this, as Don Knotts said in "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" (if you haven't seen the movie, see it because it's a cool nostalgic movie I remember from the days when schools still showed movies in 16mm format, God I long for those days). The world moves on. It's a hard fact to accept, but it's the truth. I threw away my chances of a good life, and I have to accept that. I wanted to be a writer, and I still want to be a writer. More specifically, I want to be a screenwriter (always loved movies and still do with a passion). Some of you may be wondering, where is this going. Well, I'm drunk, so bare with me, please. I have put a blade to my wrist, and I was so close to doing it. I guess I can tell you all this, because there is no way for you to know who I am, where I live, etc. Anyway, I was very close to ending my life. And I may do it again, no promises. But, and this is a BIG but, I don't think, if I had done it, that I would have been doing the RIGHT thing. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am single, 29 years old, alone and lonely most of the time. I'm an ugly person, inside and out, but I think I have a bit of beauty buried way down inside, so far down that maybe no one can see it. But there's always the hope, right? Anyway, I'll tell you my biggest problems. Number one, I'm ugly, like I said. I'm an unnattractive man who would love to look like Brad Pitt's better-looking brother, but I'm not. Number two, I'm impotent naturally, mostly because of my nervous personality, I guess. I can't get it up with a woman without Viagra. And I love sex. Wow, that's a big problem without money. Which leads me to problem number three. I don't have much money at all. I work in a laundry at a hotel, and they don't care enough about their employees to pay them any kind of a decent wage. So, there I am, stuck in a dead end job, this loser with so many problems (did I mention I have what's commonly termed as bitch-tits, a physical defect that afflicts some men after puberty that makes our upper body look more like a woman's than a man's?). I want to die because of all this. I was never neglected, abused, or mistreated as a child, and my heart goes out to anyone who was, but my problems in the now make me think suicidal thoughts. I won't even go into the things that have happened to my family in the last year, but they haven't been pleasant. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, to paraphrase an old cliche, tomorrow is another day. We never know what is around the corner. Could be good, could be bad, but we have to make ourselves strong enough to face it--whatever it is. Don't kill yourself, please.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Stephanie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:15:15 09/04/04 Sat I dont know how you look and I dont care. But with your message you dont seem like your that ugly inside.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: joe [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:32:21 09/03/04 Fri Huh.. I stumbled upon this site by typeing "www.engrish"

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: 46 guys named nick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:02:14 09/04/04 Sat i know your guy's pain. i've tryed killing myself... many times. It's funny... people blame it on the fact that i like to listen to Nirvana... and HE didn't even kill himself. Those people who blame Kurt... they were bible thumpers from the mental health lock up. Jesus killed himself... well, he let himself be killed. Same thing. What's the difference between a savoir and a matoir anyway? i slit my wrists... while in lock up. The brachial artery's only 1/4 of an inch under your skin... i thought i could hit that with a pair of stollen siccors. Nope. i complained of cronic headaches... so they gave my tylenol, which i saved up. 5gm's is considered an od, i took over 12. Problem is i couldn't hold it down, so i threw up all night with my kidneys on fire. Hell, i even tryed to start a cue in the ward and get myself killed in the riot. Nothing ever turns out as planned... for future reference the mentally handicapped aren't the people to back your cue. So i sat down, cryed for about a day, and wrote down this; Suicide attempts are selfish... i see that now. i really, honestly wanted to die and i'd be lieing if i told you i don't think about it all... daily. If you're reading this and are where i'm at, i'll give you this; you're probably alone, overwhelmed (an understatement, i know) and ready to jump. DON'T FUCKING DO IT! With your death you're only hurting the ones (few) who love you. The assholes who drove you to this will fake some sorrow for the tv cameras and then forget you. YOUR FAMILY HAS TO LIVE WITHOUT YOUR SPIRIT DAILY. i say fuck them Well, i was released when the state (california) cut it's budget for something and they couldn't afford to keep me there anymore and nobody was going to fork over the money for me to live there (i didn't have any, and no next of kin)so they cut me loose. i don't even think suicide's even possible by yourself and if you're lucky enough to find somebody to assist you in it, then i think you've got one reason to live right there. Sorry about the long post... i'll shut up now.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: joya [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:07:22 09/05/04 Sun hey, y'all are pathetic. maybe if you'd turn off the computer you'd find some friends.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARIE MIOSHA [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:46:49 09/17/04 Fri >hey, y'all are pathetic. maybe if you'd turn off the >computer you'd find some friends. YOU DON'T TELL NO BOY I MEAN NO BDY THE PATHETIC IF I KNEW WERE YOU WERE RIGHT NOW I WOULD COME AND BEAT YO ASS YOU STUPID BITCH WHY DON'T YOU STAY OFF THE COMPUTER AND MINE YOUR OWN BUINSNESS I GOT FRIENDS THEY FELL THE SAME WAY

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARIE AHSIOM [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:49:05 09/17/04 Fri >>hey, y'all are pathetic. maybe if you'd turn off the >>computer you'd find some friends. >YOU DON'T TELL NO BODYI MEAN NO BODY THE PATHETIC IF I >KNEW WERE YOU WERE RIGHT NOW I WOULD COME AND BEAT YO >ASS YOU STUPID BITCH WHY DON'T YOU STAY OFF THE >COMPUTER AND MINE YOUR OWN BUINSNESS I GOT FRIENDS >THEY FELL THE SAME WAY

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: me [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:55:25 09/26/04 Sun >hey, y'all are pathetic. maybe if you'd turn off the >computer you'd find some friends. You are an obvious moron. You know nothing about anything and care about nothing(except yourself).Turn off your computer and do everyone a favor.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: i should die [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:10:27 09/05/04 Sun fuck my life i was born under a nasty black cloud anything i do or say just piss people off and they hate me relashionships a disaster,can't keep one what the fuck i did to deserve this shit life i'ts so fucking lonely in thi world of 250.000.000 even when i try to be friendly people just look at me like i'm a fucking nut God if you out there fucking help me lost self esteem, confidence and personalaty what the hell just let me go,probably better off dead nobody gives a fuck about me including my self

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: hopeless [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:28:55 09/08/04 Wed Life sucks...i'm thinking of organising a mass suicide in australia. anyone depressed enough to join me?

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARIE [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:52:33 09/17/04 Fri >Life sucks...i'm thinking of organising a mass suicide >in australia. anyone depressed enough to join me? I AM COUNT ME IN

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Cuba [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:53:05 09/25/04 Sat >>Life sucks...i'm thinking of organising a mass suicide >>in australia. anyone depressed enough to join me? >I AM COUNT ME IN I have thought about it, but thats crazy, i live in sydney. I thought there wont people who wanted to kill themselves in Australia, i am not alone hey. Killing yourself is easy, living is a challenge. I feel bad with life, sure but i must keep going. Just get out and hear the birds chirping and look at the trees whiseling. beautiful.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: trott7 brian [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:58:11 09/08/04 Wed im 30 with a 25 yr old wife who is moving on to a better person than me i found this out being a snoop. I have 3 kids 10,7,3. My oldest with someone else who tries to make my life a living hell for a sport. The middle is not even blood and me not thinking of others treats him that way. My youngest is with my "wife" who has found love elsewhere. This morning we talked about our relationship and heartbreak took over i punched the fireplace now my hand hurts. When i left for work whitch was already on the edge of losing again. I found out i couldn't make it on time would result in being fired once more, so here i am no job no wife i will sonn lose my oldest to her mom my son who doesnt like my {i dont blame him} and my youngest that i will miss most of her growing up, and no place to live but my junky 1992 honda civic that uses more oil than gas. All are reasons for me wanting to end it all but to scared to. I have read what alot of you have had to say the only cure for this is one of those four lettered words "LOVE" someone to hold us and say it will be ok and we will not beleive them because if it got better we would not be writing to a bounch of strangers with our computers praying something would soon happen. To those who have had a change for the better i am happy your crying is over and the numbness in your chest gone. To those still trying dont end it we need each other to listen to the reasons why we must end it all, with out that you would not be reading this. I'm sorry if this made no point. I too have nobody to talk to.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gray [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:08:47 09/09/04 Thu I just typed in "I want to die" on the computer and this site came up. So i started reading, i read all of the entries. I think my situation is different than all of yours. I have had a mixed life of ups and downs. I had an extremely fucked up child hood and family, however i had amazing friends that became my family, and i protected them as such. I would die for anyone of them, they are my true family. Unfortunatly that was not the hand of cards i was delt. Val died just over a year ago, in a car crash, speeding to come watch my soccer game. I can't even say her name without breaking down...i thought it would get easier with time, but it only gets harder. She was 20 years old and "gorgious", giving, caring, she was pre med in college, a athlete, you name it she was the purity that we all strive for. Since her deth i just slide further into alcohalism, and unlike many of you i have never tried to cut my wrist. ALso unlike many of you i do however have the means of ending my life there are many nights i lie on my bed with pictures of her and drowning my sorrows in booze press the cold barrel of my loaded 45 to my temple and flirt with the trigger. Being an Athiest makes it that much harder, i try so hard to believe in Heaven for her sake and mine, but i just don't buy it. I can't wait 60 years to find out. I just miss her so god damn much........Axl Rose you have stayed my hand so many times i wish i could thank you in person, "and never mind the darkness we still can find a way, cause nothing lasts for ever, even cold november rain."

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Crystal [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:25:30 09/11/04 Sat >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die Try Living my life for one second. Everything has gone to shit. I have know one to talk to Konwone who cares and if I could just die I would. Try haveing to be happy everyday, putting on smiles and playing games. I cant have my daughter see me cry but the lying daily is getting to hard. every night I go in the bath and cry. I cry for hours on end i had a husband I had a family I had a life. And its gone Know I have to be the strong one. Thats bullshit I dont want to be the strong one I just want to fade away. But I cant I hate prtending I hate being something I am not I wish I had my life the way it was

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Andrew [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:58:13 09/12/04 Sun Truth is, I think about killing myself all the time, every day. I'm 44, and I'm miserable. I've had so many years of therapy, 12 step programs, medications, hospitals...nothing has helped, I'm still miserable almost all the time. The only reason I haven't done it yet is that there's something burning inside me saying that there has GOT to be something more, something I can get to if I just don't quit. Honestly, that light is getting dimmer, much dimmer. I'm ok for today, but tomorrow is always in question. It's a seperate kind of hell, to be suicidally ideated. Most people don't understand, can't understand. Maybe they weren't molested, raped, beaten, teased, whatever...or maybe they were but were just able to handle it better than I do. All I know is that this isn't a life, to be hating yourself and every minute of the day wanting it to just end. I'm exhausted...

[> [> Subject: re: dying slowly inside Author: lonley girl [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:53:14 09/13/04 Mon i'm not going to say that i care about your problems because i know you heard it all b4 and it doesn't really help. what you really need is someone to show you that they care. like they say actions speak louder than words. i know all of this because i am going through this terrible pain as well. i have a boyfriend that i have been with over a year he was great but lately treats me like i am scum. i have not done nothing wrong, i have left all my friends and i have noone to talk to as well. he tells me that i deserve to be hurt. guess that is why we are all writing to eachother, for support. i have no friends i am the type of a person that can't show that i am hurt to no one. i only show emotions only towards my boyfriend. he is the only person that sees me cry. i am too ashamed to cry infront of anyone else. i don't want people to know that i am weak. but anyways, my boyfriend treats me like shit knowing that he doesn't really love me,cuz if he did he wouldn't do the things he does. i just can't let go. he is my frist love even thought i am 22. thinking that i would spend the rest of my life with him only made me happy and let me go on. but now i know he doesn't want to be with me and if he does why does he have to treat me like that. there isn't one day that i haven't cried for the past 4 months. i thought love was suppose to be special. but he only makes me feel like i am nothing. i used to have self esteem but i have nothing left in me just pure heartache and hatred for the world. going on with my life is not even an option. why do i always get hurt when it comes to men. i did as well tried b4 to take my life. you see i usually take these rides in my car to a deserted place to be alone so no one can see me cry or to see me hurt, and on the way there i always imagine running into a wall with my car. but then what stops me from doing that is thinking that i might survive the crash and i will have to live my life hurt physically as well. so i would rather do something peaceful. i took sleeping pills b4. i took 3 at a time and about 20 minutes later my whole body began to shake. so i didn't want to do that again. so now when i go alone at night i hope for a rapist to come along and rape me and kill me all at once. the reason i say rape is because a guy that wants to hurt girls won't just kill them they want to have their way with them as well so they might as well get it over with and do it. its like i'm 2 different ppl. i cry and cry and cry by myself but around ppl i am normal. i don't like for ppl to feel sorry for me so i put on an act. most ppl say to me that i am lucky. for the guy i have for the friends i have for how i am but i don't consider it luck if they only knew the truth. my boyfriend is emotionally hurtful (which in my opinion is more hurtful than physically, i'd rather get hurt physically like i did b4, rather then emotionally like i am now). it hurts so much. u feel like u are ugly everytime you look in the mirror. you feel like the things you have you don't deserve, and that no one should even look at me cuz i don't deserve anyone. so i guess we all have something in common, some similar and some different. if anyone wants to reply please do so, thanks.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: re: dying slowly inside Author: MARIE [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:03:37 09/17/04 Fri I'M GAY SO IF YOUR'RE ANY RACE BUT BLACK AMERICAN, BECAUSE I'M BLACK AMERICAN HIT ME BACK(WRITE ME BACK)AND YOU MUST BE SLIM BY THE WAY IM CARMELAND I FEEL THE SAME WAY.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: re: dying slowly inside Author: fluttergirl [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:54:11 09/21/04 Tue lonely girl, email me if you feel like talking. my thoughts and problems seem to parallel yours. i'm 23. i'm just sad most of the time. i can't talk to people either. i think about dying every day, but i know i'm not really going to do it. the only person i can tell is whoever i am dating. which is no one right now. anyway, if you want to talk more, reply.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: me [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:25:37 09/13/04 Mon >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die Here is a bit of "in the now", practical wisdom I think we all should contemplate. If we kill ourselves, we are not in control AT ALL of what is to come. We could go to Heaven, we could go to hell, we could simply cease to be--end of existence, period. At least here, on Earth, alive and, while not perhaps well, at least alive--we are in CONTROL, at least a little bit. The thing that scares me most in loss of control, loss of free will to do or not to do, to go or not to go where I want. I hate to be sacreligious here, but I have to say it--here we are gods. We are the gods of our own lives. Yes, there are many things and influences which have varying effects on our lives, but we, ultimately, are the decision-makers. So take charge. If you lost your job, fuck your job. There are others. Maybe not high-paying, but they are there. Lost your girlfriend or wife? Look for another. People grow and change, so you change too. Adapt, be open to change, and be STRONG. The world is a circle. Bad things happen, but good things happen, too. Remember that YOU are in charge of YOU, and don't let anyone try to tell you different.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Dont give up. [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:27:32 09/13/04 Mon >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die --------------------------- I have tryed to kill myself too. I have been to the piont ware I was actually starting to take up the slack in the trigger of my revolver but i just could not do it. I believe that God loves me and well not let me die until I have served my purpose here. No I dont know what that might be. Iam lucky I have parents that really love me and I know it would destroy them. Im just trying to say that I have been then. It really can get better with time and hard work if you finally get tired of not being happy all the time. I was not planning on rambling this long. Sorry. Dont give up.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Damon Brown [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:04:37 09/15/04 Wed die die die die die do it you cant do anything else in your life

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Ameen [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:35:37 09/17/04 Fri >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die i didnt want life and i want die i didnt like any things and i make problem to all people and rally want to die

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: miosha [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:18:39 09/17/04 Fri >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MIOSHA [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:26:02 09/17/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die IM ONLY 13 MY FAMILY ABRUSES ME,WELL MY AUNT AND UNCLE. I TRIED TO STAB MYSELF BUT TO SCARED FOR THE PAIN.THEY STEADY BLAIM STUFF ON ME THEY MY BLOOD AUNT TAKES HER HUSBAND SIDE SHE'LL LET HIM GET AWAY WITH MURDER,HOPEFULLY IT I'LL BE ME. ANYTHING I DO TO TRY TO KILL MYSELF I END UP IN THE HOSPITAL.HOPEFULLY I DIE SOON THERES NO POINT IN LIVING I REALLY WANT TO DIE.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: KIESHA [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:27:50 09/17/04 Fri >>>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my >life, >>>Help me die >IM ONLY 13 MY FAMILY ABRUSES ME,WELL MY AUNT AND >UNCLE. I TRIED TO STAB MYSELF BUT TO SCARED FOR THE >PAIN.THEY STEADY BLAIM STUFF ON ME THEY MY BLOOD AUNT >TAKES HER HUSBAND SIDE SHE'LL LET HIM GET AWAY WITH >MURDER,HOPEFULLY IT I'LL BE ME. ANYTHING I DO TO TRY >TO KILL MYSELF I END UP IN THE HOSPITAL.HOPEFULLY I >DIE SOON THERES NO POINT IN LIVING I REALLY WANT TO >DIE.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARIE MIOSHA [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:29:03 09/17/04 Fri >>>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >>even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >>crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >>Help me die IM ONLY 13 MY FAMILY ABRUSES ME,WELL MY AUNT AND UNCLE. I TRIED TO STAB MYSELF BUT TO SCARED FOR THE PAIN.THEY STEADY BLAIM STUFF ON ME THEY MY BLOOD AUNT TAKES HER HUSBAND SIDE SHE'LL LET HIM GET AWAY WITH MURDER,HOPEFULLY IT I'LL BE ME. ANYTHING I DO TO TRY TO KILL MYSELF I END UP IN THE HOSPITAL.HOPEFULLY I DIE SOON THERES NO POINT IN LIVING I REALLY WANT TO DIE.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: bobby [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:38:30 09/19/04 Sun >>sit in the flames of your burning house if ur gonna kill urself take others with u itll go down alot easier i hate life at time ... im a 24 yr old virgin no girls like me im always nice to people i hate noone but i aint shit i hate being me irun around with this fales orah of confidence every one that knows me thinks im uber cocky i wish they only new how i feel sometime i sit and actually question whether god is real and if he is why do nice guys finish last why is it that people that r so fucked up to every one god looks out for them all my fuckin efforts usually go unrewarded i hav dreams i feel will never be fufilled cause god has forsaken me

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: G [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:24:31 09/19/04 Sun >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die Hello everybody, I also feel like no longer want to be part of this world if I don't find somebody to be my friend a, real friend.Somebody caring and understanding enough to open my heart to him . I'm 21, never had a BF or sex but that doesn't bother me.What really bothers me and depress me is this fucking loneliness and people's coldness.Sometimes I feel that there is somebody really special out there waiting to meet me ,but I also I have to make an effort improving the circumtances. For some reason they seem to get worse every time I try .I wish that my angel could read this.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Lost in Love [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:08:10 09/23/04 Thu I am a man in my early thirties, and I have known the most wonderful woman in the world for some four years now. We started seeing each other about a year ago. Things have never been great emotionally, but she is still definitely the most wonderful person I have ever met. It is over now, and she hates me. I have hurt her, but never intentionally. Still, I hurt her. I hate myself for causing her pain. I so want to die. I love her more than anything in the world, but to her I am the most horrible person there is. She says it would make her happy if I died, but would it? I dont know. I just want her to be happy. Forgive me. Please forgive me.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: mrn [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:29:31 09/23/04 Thu I also want to die right now, slitting wrists is not a useful way. I wonder if getting some air in my veins will do it. I am about to turn 23, and I hate the way life has treated me. I've everything possible to make people happy, but it doesn't seem to be same way around. I first attempted to kill myself when I was 17. I feel so miserable. I really don't think there is a solution.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: paul [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:59:57 09/24/04 Fri I have a fear of going to jail or prison for unemployment fraud, but killing myself would devastate my family. But then again, I have to think of myself. Your thoughts.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jawahar [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:55:48 09/26/04 Sun >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: sheila [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:09:16 10/21/04 Thu >>There is nothing to live for. I want to die but I'm >even too chicken to do it. I tried to die in a car >crash but I didn't even get hurt bad. I hate my life, >Help me die you're too chicken. you don't "try" to die. if you really want to, just put a gun to your heart and pull the trigger. it's okay. i'm too chicken to do that too. last year i was walking across the bridge in japantown in san francisco. it was the day before my birthday and i thought "what if i just jumped into the street below?" the temptation is always there and it seems to be stronger in good times than in bad. the biggest reason i don't do it is that i'm embarassed and afraid of who will find me and how it will affect them. i'm worried that no one will come to my funeral. what a shitty reason to live,eh?

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: hanna [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:17:56 03/05/04 Fri Stop eating so much everyone---u should be embarassed--don't just live life eating everything in sight because soon u won't have a life to live at all. It's nice to move effortlessly, not sweating with every foot step

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kristen [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:43:53 05/28/04 Fri >Stop eating so much everyone---u should be >embarassed--don't just live life eating everything in >sight because soon u won't have a life to live at all. >It's nice to move effortlessly, not sweating with >every foot step i am skinny, took me a minute to get there, but now, i would rather die with a big fat cheeseburger in my face than some ignorant ass person telling people to quit eating, big or small, if our pain is deeper than our suffering is not for you to try to see.

[> Subject: I want to die now~~ Author: Dave Hendershott [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:53:06 03/05/04 Fri I've defind my whole life with music. Now it's over . I want out. Any suggestons?

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: ASSHOASSHOLIKMYASSHO [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:51:41 03/24/04 Wed >I've defind my whole life with music. Now it's over . >I want out. Any suggestons? yes, let me kill you, cuz i always wanted to kill lots n lots of peepoe, i hate peepoe, i hate myself, i hate the world, i hate god, i hate gods children, i hate gods children`s children, i hate life.............ima fuckin keel my seelf, cuz leevin, sounds goooooooood. props to all the muther fuckers who left, cuz i know, at least, they aint a tool of life.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Dekar K [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:11:21 04/02/04 Fri you want to die? I'll come kill you for you if you want let me know by replying ttyl

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: peggy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:48:09 04/11/04 Sun >you want to die? I'll come kill you for you if you want >let me know by replying >ttyl yes

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Richard [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:45:09 08/17/04 Tue >>you want to die? I'll come kill you for you if you >want >>let me know by replying >>ttyl >yes

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gary J Taylor [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:36:01 04/13/04 Tue >A thought for you.... "I am the man who floats around the website trying to catch pedophiles. I am the man who collates evidence and starts the proceedings for prosecution of people who make a living from abusing children. I am the man who is unknown, unseen, unheard of, and there are almost 1800 men, just like me sitting at PC's surfing the web, trying to catch Pedophiles. Thats 1800 in my Police Force. Occasionally, I break away from looking at sickening pictures of poor kids, and look elsewhere. And then I find you. "I Want to die" - Why? I have no family (All dead) I live to work. I am pale white, I eat nothing but junk food, I stink, and I usually end my day by crying. I hate my life. But, So long as I do good in the world and stop wrong being done... I have a purpose to fulfil. You too have a purpose. You just need to either find it, or develop it. All You need is a big hug, and I wish I was there to give it to you. Yours PC Gary Taylor The Metropolitan Police United Kingdom

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kevn [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:50:49 04/20/04 Tue >>A thought for you.... > >"I am the man who floats around the website trying to >catch pedophiles. I am the man who collates evidence >and starts the proceedings for prosecution of people >who make a living from abusing children. I am the man >who is unknown, unseen, unheard of, and there are >almost 1800 men, just like me sitting at PC's surfing >the web, trying to catch Pedophiles. > >Thats 1800 in my Police Force. > >Occasionally, I break away from looking at sickening >pictures of poor kids, and look elsewhere. And then I >find you. > >"I Want to die" - Why? > >I have no family (All dead) I live to work. I am pale >white, I eat nothing but junk food, I stink, and I >usually end my day by crying. I hate my life. > >But, So long as I do good in the world and stop wrong >being done... I have a purpose to fulfil. > >You too have a purpose. You just need to either find >it, or develop it. > >All You need is a big hug, and I wish I was there to >give it to you. > >Yours > >PC Gary Taylor >The Metropolitan Police >United Kingdom God bless you Gary you have a pure heart and I know that the world can use many more like you.... I know what you are saying and I agree with you 100% cheers Kev

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Sandra [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:46:41 06/07/04 Mon hello your message was very touching. i respect you to a very high standard for doing what you do for our children. please contact me, i would like to know how i can get myself involved and help

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: lost [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:41:31 04/15/04 Thu death sounds like a heathy altunitive to life.... im 20 and am have a mental breack down the doc wants to put me on antis i cant afford concilling becouse .......... fuck this life is a waste of time im allready dead if you think about it all im doing now is couseing concern for those i love and costing my parent money ..... the only thing stoping me is the fact that my parents would be devistated and would proberly fall apart if i went and toped my self ........ they woulnt see this from my point of veiw. if hummans are scum then i am the dirt that the scum walks overs kicks and i will never reach there leavel of being .... so scum wise up stick it out and suffer like the rest of us!!!!

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: bob [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:12:58 04/16/04 Fri I came to this site to see why anyone would want to die. I do not think any of you want to die. You need a friend. My advise: stop talking about wanting to die and seek out a friend, go to the movies , a park, or whatever makes you happy. You are feeling sorry for yourself and trying to gain attention by "wanting to die" attitude. No one wants to be around a neg suicidal person, so try this: think positive, look for new friends and discuss positive stuff. You will be surprised, you will gain a friend and won't want to die any more.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kevin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:27:34 04/20/04 Tue >I came to this site to see why anyone would want to >die. I do not think any of you want to die. You need >a friend. My advise: stop talking about wanting to >die and seek out a friend, go to the movies , a park, >or whatever makes you happy. You are feeling sorry >for yourself and trying to gain attention by "wanting >to die" attitude. No one wants to be around a neg >suicidal person, so try this: think positive, look >for new friends and discuss positive stuff. You will >be surprised, you will gain a friend and won't want to >die any more. you are right Bob, this is true but it's not as easy for us to do we are lonly and suffer shame, we think that we are the ones to blame we feel as if no one cares, no one sees us despite the tears you say to us go get a friend and all this pain and crap will end you make it sound like an easy thing, like bying a bell will make it ring you missed the point our life within, the pains which formed and shaped this thing the why in which our minds all think, the way we see our lives all stink when we don't feel good at all within, about where we've been or what we've done it's hard to think we deserve a friend, insted we see our lives should end people in this age and time, no time to chat can't read our mind they see us arrogant not shy but never stop to wonder why if they could see the pain within and how we long to talk with them how much we long for it to go, the cold exterrior which we show insted we sit alone at home and sometimes share it on the phone or internet should someone care and say they know that they've been there and for those moments we feel at ease, on common ground with our disease but in the end they go away and we're left to face another day..... Kevin if anyone wants to talk to me you are welcome to email me at handshigh@optusnet.com.au

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: soongone [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:15:35 05/04/04 Tue >I came to this site to see why anyone would want to >die. I do not think any of you want to die. You need >a friend. My advise: stop talking about wanting to >die and seek out a friend, go to the movies , a park, >or whatever makes you happy. You are feeling sorry >for yourself and trying to gain attention by "wanting >to die" attitude. No one wants to be around a neg >suicidal person, so try this: think positive, look >for new friends and discuss positive stuff. You will >be surprised, you will gain a friend and won't want to >die any more. Really? what if you have tried all that and it doesn't work? what do you do then? I'm curious..

[> [> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Richard [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:49:19 08/17/04 Tue You don't have a clue. YOu have no right to judge me, or anyone else.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: hating it all [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:33:40 07/13/04 Tue >I came to this site to see why anyone would want to >die. I do not think any of you want to die. You need >a friend. My advise: stop talking about wanting to >die and seek out a friend, go to the movies , a park, >or whatever makes you happy. You are feeling sorry >for yourself and trying to gain attention by "wanting >to die" attitude. No one wants to be around a neg >suicidal person, so try this: think positive, look >for new friends and discuss positive stuff. You will >be surprised, you will gain a friend and won't want to >die any more. Bob, lucky, lucky you is all I can say. Telling these people to get over it because noone else wants to be around people that are down. Look genius, there isn't anyone there for these people to talk to that is why they are using a computer to get help! And you come along with your "just get better" attitude and just expect it to stop. Well, I am sure whatever these people are going through you haven't ever had happen to you. Life sux and it usually sux more when people like you tell people like us that we should get over it! So go to another website because you are no better than the idiot who came to this site to trash people because he has never had a life so this is what he does to get attention negative though it maybe. And thanks because I actually came to basically say "I don't care to live anymore, but due to religious reasons I can't do it to myself." But, now that you have irritated me I feel a little better.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: usman [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:36:02 04/19/04 Mon >Yesterday, i ate four pieces of pizza ... >and a lot of food in pizza hut.. >Today, i eat Korean BBQ... > >Wa.....My body is becoming more and more "BALL" >shape... >i hate my body now... >Help me...help me.... > >Dolly...miss you so much... >when you come back, you must not know me due to my >Sudden change into FAT FAT bolunic~~ >crying...crying...

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: jammy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:39:49 04/19/04 Mon I cried till my eyes bled dry.. i starved till my bones crippled onto one another.. i breathe the air wchihc makes me older ... weeker.. i cant eat i cant sleep ...my craving for u will just cradle me to my grave..

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: ergo [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:03:44 04/20/04 Tue >die

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kiv [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:41:21 04/23/04 Fri i want to die too.. i will have a final exam in seven hours. i don't want to study and just want to disappear :) i am crazy now. I am sick and tired of this crazy world. i have to work tomorrow. now i want to sleep forever, close my eyes and never wake up again.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: ivyducktwilightseto [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:26:03 04/24/04 Sat don't tell people whether or not their life is worth living or if they should end it or not. it is really something a person needs to figure out on their own. all you need to tell them is to seek out their friends or the closest things to friends and see if they are there for them. if you give them the usual speech it will have absolutely no impact. how do i know this or why am i saying this? well, i want to die too. i seem to be balancing right on the edge of life and death. don't give me the usual crap. i will figure this out for myself and i don't need your bland, not-really-caring-but-acting-like-it monologue to convince me to live. i think the world could use a few less of us anyway. if one of those people happens to be me, then so be it. i hate this life and i want to leave it. i'll think long and hard while constantly cutting myself, taking pills, and holding a knife to my wrist. if i die i'll be gone and if i live i'll bear the scars forever but still get on with this joke called life.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: all alone [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:52:45 04/25/04 Sun i want to die too. i hate my life, i have no friends, i do nothing. i wish i was better. there's so much i want to do. i don't want to be ordinary. i know what i want, but it'll never happen. i wish i didn't exist.

[> Subject: i want to die Author: fin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:14:05 04/25/04 Sun i want to die.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: David [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:12:14 04/28/04 Wed I want to fucking die too.but I don't want my family to cry for me.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: carol [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:23:43 04/28/04 Wed I have had a death wish every since I was a teen. I am almost 50 now. I have been through a lot, and don't see anything concrete to look forward to. I have a method I could use to go that wouldn't be messy. I am just too chicken to do it, and what it will do to my family. I smoke cigarettes, and I really don't care If I die from them. I have been on anti-depressants for a long time, and they barely keep my head above water. I see the future as a big black hole, much as I would like to move, I can't because of my husbands job. So I don't care.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Edward [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:22:13 05/12/04 Wed Please give that way thats not messy... >I have had a death wish every since I was a teen. I >am almost 50 now. I have been through a lot, and >don't see anything concrete to look forward to. I >have a method I could use to go that wouldn't be >messy. I am just too chicken to do it, and what it >will do to my family. I smoke cigarettes, and I >really don't care If I die from them. I have been on >anti-depressants for a long time, and they barely keep >my head above water. I see the future as a big black >hole, much as I would like to move, I can't because of >my husbands job. So I don't care.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: soongone [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:05:35 05/04/04 Tue to sleep is good, death is better, but the best is to have never been born.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kristen [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:35:57 05/28/04 Fri >to sleep is good, death is better, but the best is to >have never been born.If i could sleep i would, i would. instead i am lazy at all other times, i refuse to capitalize my letters, i want to have a vacation from the must do's. i grind my teeth constantly, or clench them. i tell myself to stop, lost my 3 kids to a good liar and his impulsive adopted family thinking it was safe to trust that after he fucked up atleast i would have time to heal, 3 years later my heart beats, but my brain is dead, if it is alive then it is destrucively consumed, yeah? chicken? wish it was a simple wish, stop making me crazy, just slam the miracle of death on me like you did life damnit, i am tired of trying to make myself come to terms, and forgive those who are responsible, and yes, some of us are destined to die this way, and some of us are not, but when you are already dead and just walking around wishing a bus would run you over and diminish you, why would the chicken ass thought of doing yourself be so miserable? because if we could drive the bus, we would. but nobody else understands that without that maybe we just need to go away, and our final destination is late running our crazy unhealable minds over.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: crissygail [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:25:19 05/07/04 Fri i want to die to and i dont know why i get more depressed every day, i have an appointment with psy. didnt go last time need to go but dont have enough energy to put forth my life is one big train wreck also on nerve meds not helping. the only reason i havent commited suicide is my family i dont want to huet them

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kala [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:38:24 05/07/04 Fri i want to die and i want to die now but i also am a big chicken and cannot do it myself i wish someone would just come along and kill me already.....i just want it to be fast

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: What_For? [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:03:10 05/21/04 Fri >i want to die and i want to die now but i also am a >big chicken and cannot do it myself i wish someone >would just come along and kill me already.....i just >want it to be fast I know... Me too.

[> Subject: Hello Author: WinterNight [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:02:07 05/08/04 Sat if u cant resist junk food or whatever, eat them.As much as you want.When you're satisfied,find a place and puke everything out.thats what i usually do and i have my weight in control. i thought that if one wants to die and is too afraid to do so,she can stay awake for many nights till totally exhausted,take a whole bottle of insomnia pills and go to sleep.my life sux,this world sux,i have nothing worth living for but i dont wanna die...dont know why -______- ?

[> Subject: lll. Author: GN [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:26:28 05/15/04 Sat I think your situation is not easy but why do you want to kill yourself. i have had a lot of problems and i've thought about suicide but in the end i always understand that i'm not supposef to do that because if we're here is for a reason and if you don't want to avoid those feelings at least you should try to do it because of your family and why do you want to give up and kill yourself. just to prove to life that she's better then us and that we couldn't take control of all the things that happen to us. I really don't wanna be that kind of person who wants to be nice and i don't wanna try to tell you the truth about the world but i think that you should try to change and stop wasting your time feeling drepressed because we all are gonna die one day so try to make a good use of the time that's left.there are a lot of people in the world that know that they are gonna die because of things like diseases that they cannot control and since we're not in that situation we should try to hold on and even if we're in that situation we should try to live not to die. and who knows maybe something really good can happen to you one of these days but if you end your life in this moment that for sure won't happen and i don't wanna look corny so i'll stop writing. i just wanted to tell you that because i used to think like you all but i think i already got over all that and i feel very good now . bye LM.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kevin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:08:06 05/29/04 Sat i will succeed,its my right.can't find what it is im in need of people dropping around me and im 40. alcohol drugs, pills sunny skies ,rainy nights,struggle with the race, no money, not up to speed lonely in crowds,,taste my up coming demise,loved ones no longer enough of excuse to exsist, hope theres something better AFTER doubt it

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: 515 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:57:52 06/09/04 Wed Life is a bitch. So you know, food was made for people to eat not take in as often as you do air. People who eat so much they are exploding out of their skin, need to locked away forever with a small salad as normal people enjoy the food that was meant for everybody not just you.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: 515 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:00:09 06/09/04 Wed I've decided something all a fat person by choice needs is a gun and one bullet. unless they can change, they should put those items to use and make us all feel better.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: kristen with a pistol [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:49:04 08/21/04 Sat >Life is a bitch. So you know, food was made for people >to eat not take in as often as you do air. People who >eat so much they are exploding out of their skin, need >to locked away forever with a small salad as normal >people enjoy the food that was meant for everybody not >just you. you are a moron, i hope someday you get really heavy (if you are not already, and i hope that you are homeless, and have to eat out of trash cans to make yourself feel full!! quit cracking on heavy people!! i am skinny, i used to weigh 260 pounds, now i weigh 120, and i said it before and i will say it again!! i want to die with a big fat cheeseburger in my mouth! and if i live long enough (and don't go to the pawn shop and buy the $100 pistol so i can go trigger happy in my mouth)and end up in a nursing home, all i will eat is chocolate cake whether they like it or not! kristen wants a pistol

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Suicide tonight [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:06:57 06/09/04 Wed I dont hate overweight people. Some people look better a bit bigger. I love this girl Justine, i love her with all my heart( she doesn't understand cause she likes a pothead i guess) but she is a wonderful person and even if i could chage anything about her i wouldn't except her boyfriend. She is a great person and i love her. i wish she felt the same though.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Suicide tonight [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:13:55 06/09/04 Wed I love justine soooooooo much. She doesn't think we could make it work though. All i want to do is be able to hold her and kiss her again. I gave up an extreamly easy girl 4 justine cause i love her. i hope she reads this and changes her mind. i love you Justine!

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Gary J Taylor [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:46:41 06/09/04 Wed Hello! Happy Greetings from Sunny England! Today, I am on Holiday, I have just returned a e mail to a nice lady who e mailed me from this site. That was nice, so I thought I'd come back for a look around! So Whats the problem here? so many people want to end their lives? Send me the reason why you want to end your life to my e mail address, give me a couple of days, and lets see if I cant give you one good reason to stay on the earth! I am getting a bit old now. My family is all gone now, just little old me on my own working 24 /7. So give me a mail, it sure would be great to hear from you ! Big friendly hugs! Gary

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: T [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:17:18 06/17/04 Thu Each day I wake up and I am disapointed that I have to face another day. I went through and read each post here hoping for some inspiration, looking for a way to get through life. What I found was that I still want to die. So then why don't I kill myself? well I guess its guilt. I have a wonderful wife, four amazing children, a career, friends and other family around. I couldn't kill myself in fear of what it would do to all of these people. I have no reason to believe that they would not get over my death, but I could not cause them the pain that i know it would cause. I am a lovable man if I do say so myself and i am generally well liked by most that I meet in my day to day life. I get regular exercise, and I take anti depressants, I eat fairly well and I do things and go places with my family. Each day I look in the mirror and wonder why I need to continue. I read a post saying stop feeling sorry for yourself, all you need is to go to the park, make some new friends, and so on. Well I have done all of these things and I still wake up each day wanting to end my life. My wife knows that I have these feelings but nobody in my life knows. I have never confided in anyone else but my wife. So what do I do now? where do I go from here? should I cause these people this pain and put myself out of my everyday misery.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Hooter Stumpfuck [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:26:38 06/25/04 Fri All of you pathetic wimpy assholes should just fuckin DIE! Stop your crying and complaining and just fuckin' do it[kill yourself] you wusses. If you are too pussy to do it then shut up and get a job and blend into society like the rest of the low lifes do. With Love, Hooter Stumpfuck

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: MARK [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:02:14 06/25/04 Fri >All of you pathetic wimpy assholes should just fuckin >DIE! >Stop your crying and complaining and just fuckin' do >it[kill yourself] you wusses. If you are too pussy to >do it then shut up and get a job and blend into >society like the rest of the low lifes do. > > With Love, > Hooter Stumpfuck HOOTER! IT SEEMS ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS HIDE BEHIND A KEYBOARD AND DEGRADE AND HUMILIATE PEOPLE. ARE YOU PROUD OF WHAT YOU DO AND SAY TO THOSE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW? DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK INTO A MIRROR? I BET YOU ARE VERY PROUD. AND THAT IS SAD. WHY DONT YOU GO OUT, GET A LIFE AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT, SEE IF YOU CAN ROUND UP A BETTER PERSONALITY. SEE! THERE IS HOPE, EVEN FOR YOU. MARK

[> Subject: I WANT TO LIVE..:) Author: MARK [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:29:28 06/25/04 Fri as with most of you , i too wanted to end it all. but i began to understand that this was my way of saying i was tired of alot of things going on around me in my life. i was burned out with people and life. i wanted it to end. but instead of getting rid of myself, i got rid of those that were negative in my life. i surrounded myself with more positive, honest and happy people. i changed jobs, and found hobbies to do. i earned how to be happy again. that is a very hard thing to do. but you have to make that move and know that there is a rainbow out there for each and every one of us. just walk away from the storm so you can see it...:) mark

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: PainRelief [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:08:58 06/25/04 Fri All of you who Really want to die and are 100% sure of it, contact me and you will get help fast. I know about pain, deep suffering and everyone has the right to control their own fate.

[> [> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: a simple answer [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:51:17 08/21/04 Sat >All of you who Really want to die and are 100% sure of >it, contact me and you will get help fast. >I know about pain, deep suffering and everyone has the >right to control their own fate. VISINE AND VODKA

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Felicius Rex [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:13:31 06/26/04 Sat i'm curious as to how dying would truly help everything. is that... really what most of the people here want? is that really, honestly, your wish, or is it just another part of the many thing you've covered youself with out of misery? are all the people here really on honest terms with themselves? don't get me wrong. i too am also another strange kid who wants to end her life. i'm just curious, that's all. because when i'm being completely honest, the reason i'm still here has almost completely nothing to do with other people, parents, friends or the likes of them. they're nothing in the end, when it really comes down to it. and it's not purely cowardice either. it's because there's a part of me that, honest to god, wish to live. the scary part is... i found that in the middle of a bout of depression in front of the screen. so *laugh* perhaps the damn internet that my parent hate really help!^^ but seriously, it was a moment when everything got pushed to the limit. my mind was full to the breaking point and everything was just a jumbled mess. it's so messy, and the sound they made was deafening inside my skull and everything turned into questions ending in dead ends. i felt like i'm going mad. and then, somehow, everything became clear. the mess became one big picture and i can clearly see it. the one missing puzzle piece. i want to friggin' live afterall. i laughed my ass off that day. it was just so ridiculous and absurd because it's so simple. and no, nothing got magically better after that day. i can't even say that the event made me happier. in fact, i think almost nothing changed at all. the only thing that's changed is that, now i know i want to live. it's just a simple self honesty, but in a way, it makes me relieved. i still wish to die every now and then, regularly (i want it so often at this point it's even funny to me). i just know now that that's not the whole wish. so... everytime i see someone wishing to die i can't help but wonder wether they truly want it or is it just another part of their pleas for help, warped as it could be beyond even their own recognition. i'm not an expert or anything, but my own experience and some people i know taught me that usually we're geniuses when it comes to deluding ourselves. and when it's been happening for years it's no easy task separating the truth from the lie. we burried ourselves behind god knows how many layers of masks sometimes we forgot how we truly look like. i'm not telling you not to die. geez, that'd be being a total hypocrite. it's just... no matter how much i want to throw it away at times, i recognize that life is something precious. if you do want to throw it away, at least don't do it based on lies. it's just too sad that way. it's already painful enough at times as it is.

[> Subject: Painless help to die! Author: PainRelief [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:37:33 06/28/04 Mon --------------------------------------------------------- All of you who Really want to die and are 100% sure of it, contact me and you will get help fast. I know about pain, deep suffering and everyone has the right to control their own fate and get rid of problems. ---------------------------------------------------------

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: K [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:37:32 07/08/04 Thu I have felt both compassion and pity for many of the "authors" here. The compassion is for those, like me, who struggle with the pain of life, and the pity for those of you who delight in the suffering of others. (Or, is it your own pain twisted and stabbing?) Either way, it serves no real purpose. For those that need the help, need the empathy of strangers, then I want to let you know I am listening. I understand you hurt. I hurt too. But doesn't it feel better knowing that you are not alone? >Yesterday, i ate four pieces of pizza ... >and a lot of food in pizza hut.. >Today, i eat Korean BBQ... > >Wa.....My body is becoming more and more "BALL" >shape... >i hate my body now... >Help me...help me.... > >Dolly...miss you so much... >when you come back, you must not know me due to my >Sudden change into FAT FAT bolunic~~ >crying...crying...

[> Subject: the meaning of life Author: random person [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:35:07 07/09/04 Fri the meaning of life is love. to find forfillment find a lover. is near impossible but some found there love. it is gives you a high u can only dream of. that is all

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: R [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 02:59:53 07/13/04 Tue >Yesterday, i ate four pieces of pizza ... >and a lot of food in pizza hut.. >Today, i eat Korean BBQ... > >Wa.....My body is becoming more and more "BALL" >shape... >i hate my body now... >Help me...help me.... > >Dolly...miss you so much... >when you come back, you must not know me due to my >Sudden change into FAT FAT bolunic~~ >crying...crying... I personaly think that you people are crazy. I mean nobody's perfect...so what if you're fat.I feel a bit sorry for those of you who really want to die but you really shouldn't feel that way about yourselves.

[> Subject: Re: Nobody is perfect Author: R [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:03:50 07/13/04 Tue I personaly think that you people are crazy. I mean nobody's perfect...so what if you're fat.I feel a bit sorry for those of you who really want to die but you really shouldn't feel that way about yourselves.

[> Subject: Do you know what it feels like Author: faithless [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:05:57 07/18/04 Sun You feel sorry for us you say??? Well have you been in my shoes, lived and done Everything For someone your WHOLE life who betrayed you and out of the blue left you, ripped away your complete security, emotional grounds, life stabilty and above all Faith and Trust in people forever. Do you know what it feels like to never again hold your loved one, because he suddenly doesnt feel "in love anymore" This fucking world suuuucks. I see no reason to live in this shallow dump.

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Avan [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:13:18 08/02/04 Mon i want to die i just cant eat ne more, can stop thinking about the shit is killing me, i wish it was death an not just a feeling, i wanted to die since i was 13 or younger this shit is just getting worse and worse im 23 now so imagine 10 years of terror, i just have somenthing left in this world, an angel that i thought god sent to me, i wont argue about his existance so nway now im just feeling im losing her, she donst listen ne more? but like faithless said not to hold ur loved one again.... i lived for her she knows is my only reason, now i just will pray and see what happendes, a miracle? prolly just death

[> Subject: Re: PLEASE LET ME DO IT Author: KRISTEN [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:55:50 08/21/04 Sat WENT TO THE PAWN SHOP TO BUY A GUN YESTERDAY, FINALLY DECIDED THE VISINE AND VODKA WAS SCARY, DECIDED THE WRIST SLITTING DID NOT WORK LAST TIME, DECIDED NOT TO EAT ALL MY DEPAKOTE AND PROZAC, DECIDED I WILL NEVER CARE ENOUGH TO CARE, MY BABIES ARE GONE AWAY ALL 3 OF THEM, I DO NOT WANT TO BREATHE, I KNOW I CAN DO THE VODKA AND THE SIMPLE INSERT INTO MOUTH AND PULL TRIGGER. IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL LIKE THAT. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD, I AM GOING TO THE PAWN SHOP, I JUST GOT PAID!!

[> Subject: Painless way to die Author: Painless [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:12:09 09/12/04 Sun All of you who wish to die and are 100% sure of it, contact me. You will get help fast and Painless. (You who did contact me some time ago... try again at this new address) -------------------------------------------------------- Everyone has the right to choose their own fate, or get rid of problems. --------------------------------------------------------

[> Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ Author: Avan [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:38:51 10/11/04 Mon Hey Yall, My Name is Avan And i Want to Die, I Always Wanted Since I Was a 6 Years Old Lil Boy With the Ability of understand What was going on, the Shit Talkaz arround, and how i was never somebody to nobody there was Always somenthing or somebody 1st, anyway... Im 23 years old Now, And Lemme Tell u Sumttin. Things Are not Getting better and im afraid when it get(if that ever happends) it will be too late for me, i mean it Wont be The Same... I want to Die now days I just Wait for it, i Think i dont Deserve This maybe noone of Us Does, Im a Good person i Do Everything for my Friends, my fam, when i have/had them, With all the ppl I love, but somenthing i know fo sho is that Evrybody Will leave me Alone sooner or later, they did it b4, so Rite now thats How i Feel, Alone... U know I Love Good so much and im not Afraid to say it, church is prolly the only safe place i have to go besides the darkness of my room, it makes me feel fine in pace and Always saying thanx for the few lil things that may or may not keep me here, sux i cant share that with another person but anyway. I have Hope man And ill Always have it even tho all the shit i been trought all these years, im still here u know, not in the way i wanted yeah, but here anyway. Now look in all those year i coudnt get nothing for me a signal or whatever, a ray of light something that u fight the world to keep alive, everything always fade away just like that, i never could enjoy my life and im paying all the consecuences now... I prob wont put a gun on my head but i wont stop u if u wanna kill me, if u know what i mean. I just goin to take the chance... See im tired to lose everything in front of my eyes, friends, fam and have nothing, im tired of sit here and wait the death, im tired so tired... I Hope u all find an answer and help or whatever u needs i hope u all find god and he appear infont of you they why u think it should appear, in an angel in somebody else in a friendly hand form i think everything's cool, bout me i just hope he know that i have a reason to live f0r, the only and without that then i think is time to say good bye cus there wont be nothing left for me, if i cant live the life the way i wan why cant i die?